ITT, no DS3 talk.
what are you guys even doing
Lemme fix dat right quick.
Dark Souls III: Return of the Revenge of the Reckoning's Reveangence: First Order of business. Fixing my TV setings. Literally never used the thing and the brightness is at 90! The in-game flame/dragon test would ave required a 0 to work and some later areas are still pitch black even at a 5.
Anyway, swanky, menu music is way too epic to be menu music. Opening cutscene is back to delicious mythological stuff. Can't wait to kill these dudes again! Character creation I go with a Knight named Kane because I am an unoriginal hack. (I was tempted to try the Herald though.) Using shields again feels so damn weird. The Cemetery of Ash is a tutorial and it doesn't have that stupid tree drop like in DS2 so it's unremarkable. It even has a "DO NOT VENTURE" place. *sniff* just like I always wanted. Tutorial Boss IG is also completely—sweet Jesus WTF was that!?
Okay, well, it's still a tutorial boss and dies in one go but whaaaat.
There's still some more level to go before... wherever. I explore around a bit more and promptly run into the bushido master who three-shots me and can swing five times in a row.
Repeat this four more times until I kick the bastard off the cliff and get his uchigatana. Hanzo steel run go.
Proceeding onwards to... Firelink Shrine. Looking kind of Kiln of the First Flame these days. Nice smouldering thrones. Hello Crestfallen, COOL SWORD! New Fire Keeper, and we're sticking with hub leveling again. Merchant woman and — hello Old Friend. Good to see you keeping at it. Dude on the throne just chillin'. Our Mission: Go and drag the useless goobers who should be sittin' on these thrones home. How we fit the giant in here we can worry about later! Firstly, to Lothric!
Warp is available from the get-go again, along with storage box and spell atonement. The Blacksmith now handles Estus Reinforcement from shards, while the central bonfire takes the +1 item. Repairs are following
DS2 mold but don't seem to be made of paper anymore, though that can change.
At the High wall there's no bonfire. Oh, wait, there it is right outside. I got two paths, left, and right. I choose right because I'm always right, ha-HA! Fight through some dudes, already have fucking dogs everywhere. Up this staircase — what the holy fuck was that!
Ok, let's limp away with a sliver from that and come back fully estused up.
Yeah, that doesn't go well either.
Alright, lucky left! Dudes, dudes everywhere. Also plenty of shit just dead on sticks. Also HUGE corpses just everywhere. Find a cute little hidden path but eventually bite off more than I can chew and bite it. Attempt Whatever: Go! Get further, then enjoy a classic Souls experience. There's another bonfire right nearby too, so I can start playing around with how to deal with that. Except I get jumped and stunlocked to death from full health. YEP.
Some testing at the Classic finally gets me by. With a wonderful present waiting within. I think that's the fastest enchanted weapon ever. Too bad it does barely more damage than the uchigatana. I grab the rest of the loot nearby and die on a fall. Then have to do it all over again because my souls placed stupid. The soulpatch is really obvious now, thank bacon.
Forward, find some more stuff. Find a locked door. Find a surprise; crystal lizard. We're at stones like
DS2, again. Some small path splits here. I have to take some retreats, and some deaths along the way. You also will just randomly gain estus charges back. I'm not even online. Eventually I make it to obvious ominous boss room in tact! Oh, ok. So covenant "rings" are now just there own slot now. Maybe way of blue/sentinals will actually work since you're not wasting a ring slot now. Some more clearing out the area, opening a shortcut and planning out route.
BOSS TIME! VoBV Big, crazy dude. Totally rad first real boss. He takes damage like a wuss, but he's damn ferocious. Took three tries to best him. I will blame all my loses on dodge lag. The boss's hit detection, meanwhile, was fantastic. None of that
DS2 whiffing when you hit, and getting hit when the enemy clearly misses crap.
Boss defeated, path secured and — not you knuckleheads again!
Okay, whatever. Big broken bridge now leading to the Undead Settlement. And what's that happening in the distance? TROUBLE! Also an NPC! Which reminds me I should go back to that jail cell. TWO NPCs now! Both of them sort of, teleport to Firelink and agree to be my minions. Yay? I find what one of them wants soon after. The other is the sorcery trainer. He also does some weird leveling thing? I dunno. Further within, we run into the new fat ministers. The Evangelists. They're great! Also they are horribly powerful.
Pathsplit here. 3 ways forward which becomes two ways forward when I fall into a hole that loops back. I find the Warriors of Sunlight emblem next to some delicious estus soup. I backtrack to go across the bridge path which leads to some trouble. I see a path down, but I'm low on health so book a retreat. Lo and behold said path leads to a bonfire. This eventually leads to the pyromancy trainer. Some more muckery goes on and I die a couple times. I eventually run into a new NPC who's clearly not compensating for something.
Past him is a lift, that's activating revealing a Good Friend. He talks about something I haven't seen apparently and can't figure out how
Dark Souls' lifts work. I head down to the basement and die. On the way back, an enemy traps me in a corner and I die. I didn't need a level's worth of Soul anyway!
Manage to kill basement enemy and get a sweet-ass sword that requires Twinkling Titanite to upgrade. Bah! Heading up the tower, Good Friend has learned the secrets of the lift. The Pal up top agrees to be a bro. Good times.
I head over to Pal's zone and now finally see what Good Friend meant. Good thing he's a Pal now! I get a upgrade item for old lady shop which gets the requisite sewer key. This leads to old bones feelin' better days, a shrine to Velka of all fucking things and yet another new NPC. The miracle trainer this time.
I have enough titanite to finally get Uchigatana to +3 and to Large Shards we go. Upgrades are 2/4/6 this time around. Ugh, I want to use all the weapons but can't! Can't upgrade armor either.
I check back at Firelink and a hunter from
Bloodborne's popped up. He laughs and throws cracked red eye orbs at me. I have another boss coming up that apparently has what one of the starter NPCs wants.
Random Crap:
-Poise is
DS2's completely useless version. I love getting stunlocked by shit staring at me too hard!
-Enemy's are unrelenting as all hell. Damn near every other thing feels like the Drakekeepers in Dragon Shrine for how often they attack.
-The weapon skills are not particularly impressive so far. I kind of like the defense-boosts though?
-Things are pretty linear so far. There's a lot to do in zones, but you're pretty much funneled compared to
DS2's sprawl.
-Fire is great for wrecking, what I'll dub, "tar monsters".
-Wooden Small Shields have more stability than metal medium shields.