Good Morning 2016: Man hat doch nicht alle Tassen im Schrank!

[Lady Door]

Andy/Ash: Congrats! Jenna and I are planning to get around to doing that this year as well(for tax purposes if nothing else), providing one of us stops being lazy long enough to look up what needs to be done. :V

Go to Courthouse. Bring witness.

Say you wanna get married.

Fill out paperwork for license.

Get married.

Literally took less time than we had put on the meter, such that when we sent someone out to put more time in, he actually ended up missing half the ceremony.

[superaielman]

I'm amazed you got in and out of a large courthouse that quickly, mostly. Security can be pretty awful at times at courthouses.

[Lady Door]

I had zero interaction with security. I checked in at the front desk to get a number, was sent to a room with a computer to fill out a form, waited in the lobby/outside until my number was called, sat at a desk to fill out more paperwork and confirm details, waited in the lobby/outside until the justice came, was escorted upstairs with the justice and my party to the weddings room, and then left in the room until the next group came up so I could take pictures.

This was Oakland. I maybe should have been more surprised at the lack of guns in my presence.

[dunie]

Wait Wait Don't Tell Me had the game round All Your Base Belong to Us ft Epseranza Spalding.

good thing

[dunie]

This is cute. A friend sent me an old article about my life, and well.. let's see…


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jill-knapp/my-murtaugh-list_b_3039232.html
28 Things a 28 Yr Old Woman Can No Longer Do

1.   Wear really short booty shorts outside of my house;

Pft. Eff you.

2.   Be able to say yes to every invite to every single party, wedding, Bar-mitzvah, girl’s night and house-warming party;

Errrgh, yea. ._.

3.   Wear ironic T-Shirts;

No wai, cat shirts are coming back in fashion.

4.   Let someone talk me into doing something I really don’t want to do;

That should be from birth to living….

5.   Go to a frat party;

I mean, I guess. Never been. Bad things happen there.

6.   Not ask for help when I need it;

A convenient neoliberal trap here, I disagree.
 

7.   Get trashed at a wedding;

Trick: avoid weddings because your biological clock becomes a nuclear facility when you do…

8.   Have more than one roommate;

Edit for: HAVE NO ROOMMATES. I've come off pretty bitchy, but yeah, totes agree here.

9.   Have a futon for a bed;

Trick: get a day sofa that doubles as a futon, BA BLAM.

10.   Rely solely on take-out;

Yuck, so 1990.

11.   Funnel beer;

What?

12.   Look the other way when I think I’m being lied to;

What? …. these seem to be some culturally-loaded respectability politics that I aint familiar with.

13.   Get into a public screaming match with one of my friends;

Public is pretty tacky, yeah.

14.   Pull an all-nighter and be able to survive work the next day;

Stopped doing that at 21.

15.   Pretend to be something I’m not;

No way, affect 4 life.

16.   Have unframed posters on my wall, (as originally stated by one Theodore Mosby);

Ok, I mean, I agree here…

17.   Have an answering machine message that is not my voice, but music playing instead;

Hee hee.

18.   Skip going to the dentist;

-if i aint got insurance-

19.   Say the phrases “weak sauce”; “nah, bro”; “epic fail”; or “sick” (as an adjective);

This must also be written for white bros.

20.   Drink wine out of a red plastic cup;

OMG HAS ANYONE EVER DONE THAT? I mean, a cup is a cup but…

21.   Go to a Selena Gomez, One Direction or Avril Lavigne concert (even if I was a big fan of the latter’s when I was younger — I don’t care if you’re judging me);

Ay carumba , 28??

22.   Sleep until noon, regularly;

Wake up at 5am bitches

23.   Own a lava lamp, an Animal House poster, or anything that glows in the dark;

Dild-------

24.   Keep thinking someone toxic will “change”;

….. true dat… ._.

25.   Use tanning oil;

I love how some of these questions are low-key default white person. I MEAN. I CAN STOP DOING THAT.

26.   Have a picture of myself laughing with a bottle of booze in my hand as my Facebook picture;

Have they no sense for irony?

27.   Eat fast food past 8 o’clock;

Mmmm….. yeaaaaaah.

28.   Be afraid to say “I Love You

The climax of this list is lame, but, I imagine if a 28yr old female has low self esteem (ENTIRELY POSSIBLE), it's probably the hardest thing to do.

[Cotigo]

wait cat shirts are supposed to be ironic?

[Grefter]

kinda down for Zenny answers to these questions in general.

[Cotigo]

k

http://i.imgur.com/ES5Wdd7.jpg

agree

is that good

[Cotigo]

ive been drinkin since noon and its now 11pm lets do this

1.   Wear really short booty shorts outside of my house;

u dont own me

2.   Be able to say yes to every invite to every single party, wedding, Bar-mitzvah, girl’s night and house-warming party;

you still dont own me

3.   Wear ironic T-Shirts;

see 2

4.   Let someone talk me into doing something I really don’t want to do;

see 3

5.   Go to a frat party;

but where else can i feel somehow even more isolated from everyone around me than normal

6.   Not ask for help when I need it;

see 5, find-replace "where" with "how"

7.   Get trashed at a wedding;

lol k first of all

8.   Have more than one roommate;

depends on the roommate I could have like 2 kappas and a laggy & be fine but cram me in a house with 1 snowfire and ill see you on the 6 o'clock news

9.   Have a futon for a bed;

agree

10.   Rely solely on take-out;

see 3

11.   Funnel beer;

lol look who's all fancy with this funnel shit. I got a broken-off mailbox key and a 24 pack of miller high life now who is with me

12.   Look the other way when I think I’m being lied to;

then how do u watch the news

13.   Get into a public screaming match with one of my friends;

k sorry i got us kicked out of applebees ALEX (different alex luv u Ran)

14.   Pull an all-nighter and be able to survive work the next day;

actually yeah ok Look I'm using capitalization and punctuation that's how you know this is a serious answer. For real though, at some point around 25 or 26 my ability to function on <6 hours of sleep disappeared and it is a goddamn national tragedy. I want it back but I'm fairly sure I won't ever. On the other hand, I feel really fantastic after a good week of getting a consistent 7-8 so maybe I never actually had the ability to function on <6 and it was all in my head. Who knows! Either way pretty sure this one is #science.

15.   Pretend to be something I’m not;

uhhhh im pretty sure the lesson of the 20s was who you are is terrible and you should fake it until you stop being broken

16.   Have unframed posters on my wall, (as originally stated by one Theodore Mosby);

decorating your walls is a futile attempt to communicate to the world that you have interests other than yelling at strangers because of their opinions and crying yourself to sleep at night. pass

17.   Have an answering machine message that is not my voice, but music playing instead;

who still owns an answering machine under the age of 40?

18.   Skip going to the dentist;

That reminds me I need to go get my teeth cleaned and get a new pair of glasses before my sweet-as-fuck socialized healthcare runs out and I go back to the land of "We can't do Single Payer because maintaining the illusion of a free market is more important than making sure every citizen has access to vital, basic services"

19.   Say the phrases “weak sauce”; “nah, bro”; “epic fail”; or “sick” (as an adjective);

fuck off mate

20.   Drink wine out of a red plastic cup;

see 7

21.   Go to a Selena Gomez, One Direction or Avril Lavigne concert (even if I was a big fan of the latter’s when I was younger — I don’t care if you’re judging me);

bored skip to 28

28.   Be afraid to say “I Love You.”

last time I did that a japanese man broke into the house I was sleeping in, tried to stab me with a screwdriver, and hit me over the head with luggage. I couldn't file a police report because I punched back and that is how this country's legal system works. So yeah excuse the fuck out of me if I'mma hesitate on the commitment barge

--

I was gonna do a followup posting snarky shit at Dunie's repsonses but nah she's basically got it covered except the cat shirt thing. Except...

20.   Drink wine out of a red plastic cup;

OMG HAS ANYONE EVER DONE THAT? I mean, a cup is a cup but…

I see your "ew no" and raise you a "is it worse if you just drink straight from the bottle?"

[Fenrir]

http://www.clickhole.com/article/life-your-early-80s-vs-your-late-80s-2169

[Grefter]

11.   Funnel beer;

lol look who's all fancy with this funnel shit. I got a broken-off mailbox key and a 24 pack of miller high life now who is with me

When regular butt chugging is too easy and you want to play on hard mode.

[dunie]

28.   Be afraid to say “I Love You.”

last time I did that a japanese man broke into the house I was sleeping in, tried to stab me with a screwdriver, and hit me over the head with luggage. I couldn't file a police report because I punched back and that is how this country's legal system works. So yeah excuse the fuck out of me if I'mma hesitate on the commitment barge

..........??

20.   Drink wine out of a red plastic cup;

OMG HAS ANYONE EVER DONE THAT? I mean, a cup is a cup but…

I see your "ew no" and raise you a "is it worse if you just drink straight from the bottle?"

naw, bottle gangster, boxed wine 30yr old crisis, coffee mug go shoot yourself and plastic cup eh netflix and chill

[Cotigo]

28.   Be afraid to say “I Love You.”

last time I did that a japanese man broke into the house I was sleeping in, tried to stab me with a screwdriver, and hit me over the head with luggage. I couldn't file a police report because I punched back and that is how this country's legal system works. So yeah excuse the fuck out of me if I'mma hesitate on the commitment barge

..........??

Yeah that was my response. Cops, man.

20.   Drink wine out of a red plastic cup;

OMG HAS ANYONE EVER DONE THAT? I mean, a cup is a cup but…

I see your "ew no" and raise you a "is it worse if you just drink straight from the bottle?"

naw, bottle gangster, boxed wine 30yr old crisis, coffee mug go shoot yourself and plastic cup eh netflix and chill

All of the above, Zenny

[Dhyerwolf]

20.   Drink wine out of a red plastic cup;

OMG HAS ANYONE EVER DONE THAT? I mean, a cup is a cup but…

This is probably how most concert venues serve wine, so yes, I have done it.

[Grefter]

I was going to talk shit about drinking wine at concerts... But it is probably symphonic metal concerts so that makes sense.

[dunie]

I am so tired. The three-days of performances and workshops by black artists and black punk musicians that I helped co-curate is over and all I can do is stare at the ceiling in amazement and exhaustion.

[superaielman]

http://imgur.com/nohY2Yd

Did that in two days. A good weekend, but dang am I glad I don't have to drive during the week after that.

[Grefter]

You were a dashboard?

I had always suspected.

Work sucks at the moment, I still haven't sent Idun the postcard I meant to months ago, I still haven't done my passport renewal.  On the other hand I like the people I work with and I like some of the things I get to work on, I did go to a comedy show today, I even sat in the front row and that was stupid, random cheap show that was a lot of fun and with a nice NZ woman comedian.   She was pretty on point, some fairly standard bits but that goes with the territory when there is some standard things to make fun of.

[dunie]

I totally forgot that you owe me a postcard! You know, worry less. Send it to me in July, I'm moving back to Atlanta. But don't send it at the end of July, because I'm traveling to Germany for a while. But, do send it to me. [^= I just lurve me some snail mail.

[dunie]

Anyone with pet instagrams? Mine of Remington is datremytho.

[Luther Lansfeld]

My dad is in the hospital with a brain hemorrhage. Do you know how many days I have prepared for this day, only to be completely unprepared?

[Shale]

Good luck.

[Luther Lansfeld]

Looks like he will be okay. He had a stroke, we think, and it caused brain bleeding. It looks like it is no longer bleeding, so he is in the clear, but he will need to make significant lifestyle changes.

[Cotigo]

Damn, man, that sucks. Hopefully this will be something that gives him the ability to make those changes.

[dunie]

I've never understood students who voice concern about their performance in a class days before its conclusion. I don't remember navigating uni that way, and I don't remember my colleagues behaving similarly. I'm fine with fielding questions and giving the requisite answer, but I don't know what they expect to change other than the way they go about business in the future. Since college is extended high school for most outside the private college/ivy bubble, I think it's in the best interest of primary education to nix the home ec and marketing classes for some time of self management class. It'd definitely counterbalance the decreasing need for self management in public education that just pushes students through or shamelessly lets them fall through cracks of institutional gobbledygook.

I also question the sovereignty of the syllabus in this given situation. Late-issued curves and weight changes or end-of-the-semester leniency to ensure future course offerings and student satisfaction throw a wrench into its so-called discipline.