Mega Man Powered Up: Iceman's Missions completed! Easy Mode New Style Boss Rush mode completed! ...with Iceman cause Hatbot said so, go figure. In the middle of Bombman's missions.
Why did I do the Easy mode boss rush? Cause I have to do it anyway eventually, but mostly cause I wanted SOMETHING DIFFERENT than creative use of x Robot Master, like you know, actual fighting.
FFX: Started a new game of this! Anyway, at Kilika Temple. Taking my time cause, uh, I'm trying overkill things as much as possible...I've been getting lucky on weapon drops and such though. Tidus got an Icebrand which makes overkilling those Lizards in the forest cake, for example!
And last but not least, a game I've been playing in relative secret...
That game being...
Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy 7:
Why did I play this? I guess you could say "blame the Vice President." Anyway, played it, beat it, somehow B Ranked it despite me thinking I really sucked at it...I guess DMCs and God Hand have taught me to have no faith in myself <.<;
*ANYWAY*, what to say about this game...well...uhh...I might as well work...my way...down from best points to worst?
Visuals! This shouldn't shock anyway. Easily the best point of the game cause, you know, when Square wants things to look good, they'll get it right here! Anyway, the graphics were sharp and scenes pretty...but too much Nomuratastic Designs degraded from it, and frankly, Cutscene Vincent ends up being the same kind of "awesome" every time so...uhh...not much to say!
GAMEPLAY! Ok, this is something that actually matters. The gameplay was tolerable enough. Didn't really stand out, and got a bit repetitive...and outright annoying depending on enemies (fucking Missile guys!), but it wasn't bad or anything and its relatively forgiving anyway ("God damn it Red the Red stop che-...wait, there's a shop I can access much as I want? ...ABUSE TIME!") If the claim that this game is like PE2-lite or something, then...uhh...I guess PE2 has hope for decency and I should look into trying it one of these days <_<?
anyway, weapon wise, I generally used Cerberus S w/ Normal Barrel, Blast Machine Gun w/ Short Barrel, and swapping between Bayonet Rifle or Hydra P w/ Long Barrel, seemed to work well enough.
...Griffon is pretty crappy though. Couldn't really see much of use for it other than I guess dealing with large groups which...Materia worked better for anyway. Well, guess it helps conserve ammo for Cerberus (AHAHHAHA to using Hydra for anything other than Sniping...which admittedly, it does really well!), but mrf, felt it was too unreliable and a pain to aim (FOR THE RECORD, I played the entire game on Manual Aim.)
Blast Machine Gun was a lot better cause while it had the same issues as Griffon...it'd cause enemies to actually flinch in such a way that getting just one hit in mattered! Also funny juggling situations.
MUSIC! ...is utterly forgettable for the most part. Nothing stood out as really bad to me, but...well, I'm just wondering why they didn't subvert a few FF7 songs into the mix. I mean, Crisis Core did it all the time, I was at least expecting the FF7 theme and Vincent's theme to get snuck in there and such
If you care, Crisis Core has at least the following songs from FF7 in it: Main Theme, Bombing Mission, Turks Theme, Aeris' Theme, Fighting, Those who Fight Further, Nibelheim, Shinra's Theme, and One Winged Angel. probably a few others I'm forgetting but...yeah, you can see why I was thinking they'd at least have tossed in SOME FF7 music in the mix. I mean, Advent Children did the same too!
And lastly, we get to the epic part of the game...
PLOT AND CHARACTERS. I'll start by saying the game can take consolation in one fact in this regard; its still better than Xenosaga 3.
Now, the plot here is such massive MST3k Value (for those who read the LP, let me just tell you that what you saw is just the tip of the iceberg. Yes, The game has a lot more nonsensical in its last 5 chapters than the first 8, its impressive I know) its not even funny. The game can be summed up by this, frankly:
"Everything that goes wrong in FF7, regardless of what point in time it is, unless its back story, is ALWAYS Hojo and Lucrecia's fault, REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU MAY BE LEAD TO BELIEVE. OH yeah, Lucrecia is always innocent and doing things for good intentions and just fucks up, while Hojo's evil!"
...I wish I wasn't kidding, but this is pretty much the truth. Also, Lucrecia manages to be Jesus and a Slut at the same time!
...then gets outJesused by White the Pure. So I guess she's just the Virgin Mary or something? ...which would actually make Sephiroth Jesus...and he's not even in the game...I should probably stop trying to put symbolism to this game.
...though, I could have a lot more fun with those random connections! But yeah, I'll end there.
SO BACK TO THE PLOT RETARDED WITHOUT SPOILING ANYTHING!
Lucrecia is a slut. I can't emphasize this enough!
Retcons galore! Somehow Shinra can build AN ENTIRE CITY UNDERGROUND and the only people to know about it are Shinra, Heideggar, Hojo and Scarlet...
What, that doesn't sound too weird? What if I told you said city was built under Midgar, behind a big obvious ominous door that was the only entrance into the place?
FF7's planet is fucking retarded. I don't mean the game setting and all that, I mean the actual sentient being its suppose to be is; really, the whole game can be summed up by "Deepground does shit, Planet thinks WORSE SHIT is happening, and attempts to go emo." Those who have read the LP already know this, those who haven't...I'm really not kidding here.
Cid never swears, what the #@&^?
There are apparently 7 Cait Siths! Now, we know #1 was destroyed, we see what we assume is #6 go bye bye as well...which leads me to wonder what the hell happened to #2 (aka the one in FF7 post Temple of Ancients) and on...and why do none of them have Moogles <_<?
Vincent is Emo, Angsty, and Goth...but you already knew this. Dirge of Cerberus just likes to secure these facts.
Yuffie is Bipolar! Yeah, at one point, she's...well, Yuffie. At other points she's...completely out of character being this whiny (...not in the Yuffie sense anyway...), over dramatic , worrisome bitch. Why they made her the 3rd most important FF7 character...you know what, fuck it, the very existence of the game yields "
" for why it was even made, I should just stop trying to figure out the thought process of Square at this point.
GENESIS TEASER IN THE GAME'S ENDING! ...after Crisis Core, that seems incredibly weird since Genesis' voice is incredibly different, and he looks a lot more evil than you'd think he is at CC's ending <_<;
Blue the Blue, Red the Red, and Black the Black. I don't need to say anything else; this is an awesome set of villain names! Damn you Orange the Clear and White the Pure for breaking the trend *shakes fist*
Speaking of Orange the Clear...WHY DID THEY MAKE HER THE LOVE INTEREST? ARGH! LAST THING WE NEED IS VINCENTxLOLIJEDIWHORE.
FF7 Captain Planet with Vincent being Captain Planet! I wish I was kidding...
...yeah, I could go on mocking the game's plot, but it truly is something else. At least it...uhh...
...no, its offensive; it takes FF7's plot and then spits on it by piling on a bunch of crap that is very much forced into it. Contrast that to Crisis Core, where the plot doesn't matter much for FF7's overall story, but doesn't contradict (actually supports in some cases!) anything FF7 had. Or Advent Children where the whole plot was just flavor text for the nice pretty action sequences <_<. I know you're probably thinking "isn't DoC the same way?" and while at first I'd say yes...
I then am reminded that for every line of dialog Advent Children had, you got a minute of action! Dirge of Cerberus, for every minute of game play you have, you have a minute of plot scenes. ALTERNATIVELY, think of it as XENOSAGA THE 3RD PERSON SHOOTER, FF7 STYLE! I really wish I was kidding regarding the plot scene thing, but...some really are that fucking long. Hell, there's even an entire chapter where all you do is run around talking to people like its an RPG...IN A SHOOTER FOR FUCKS SAKE. Yeah, its harder to ignore the plot here, unless you decide to scene skip every scene...which isn't a bad idea, since plot scenes don't do shit to help you in gameplay, and after all, people were saying to do that with Grandia 3 and at least in Grandia 3, plot scenes told you where to go and what to do next! Anything useful for gameplay will be told in the game itself, which of course, is a good thing.
I think I'll stop there. The end result is the game was more enjoyable than I expected cause the gameplay wasn't TOO horrible...but it wasn't really special either. The plot owns XS3's and little else, and Lucrecia is definitely up there for one of the worst female characters of all time...
And by this, I mean she's pretty clearly the Shion Tier.
...though, thinking on it...
Considering his Mother was a slut, total bitch, jesus, and a horrible failure all at once, and his father is, well, Hojo, I suppose Sephiroth going insane was only inevitable! The fact that he kept his sanity as long as he did is pretty amazing <.<
