Time's up! Answers below:
1: Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a real useful invention.
Comic Book Store Guy, in They Saved Lisa's Brain. AKA the Mensa episode ("Larry Flynt is right, you guys suck!")
2: Oh, and thanks for not making fun of my genitalia.
Mr. Burns, in Brush With Greatness. Marge paints his portrait. (Marge's response, to Homer: "I thought I did.")
3: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Homer, in $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling). I think everyone got this. It's hard to imagine anyone but Homer saying it.
4: Are these morons getting dumber, or just louder?
Mayor Quimby, in Much Apu About Nothing. AKA the episode with the Bear Patrol/illegal immigrant law. (His aide consults a report and replies, "Dumber, sir!")
5: Wait a minute. This sounds like rock and/or roll!
Reverend Lovejoy, in Bart Sells His Soul.
6: I need the biggest seed bell you have. ...No, that's too big.
Hans Moleman, stuck inside a phonebooth at the bird sanctuary, in Itchy & Scratchy Land. FYI, for the person who asked: a seed bell is a vaguely bell-shaped agglomeration of seeds held together by some gluelike substance that birds like to eat (suet, I believe). Suburbanites put them in their backyards to attract picturesque wildlife.
7: Here's the grapes, and here's the wrath!
Nelson, in Lisa's Rival. Episode of dioramas.
8: Godspeed, little doodle.
Ned Flanders, lost at sea with Bart and Homer in Boy-Scoutz N the Hood.
9: Well, only one in two million people have what we call the "evil gene." Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and Freddy Quimby has it.
Doctor Hibbert, in The Boy Who Knew Too Much. Bart skips school and winds up being the only witness who can clear the mayor's nephew.
10: I love amateur video, and your show is the most amateur video I ever saw. My hobby is secretly videotaping couples in cars. I dinna come forward because in this country, it makes you look like a pervert. But every single Scottish person does it!
Groundskeeper Willy, in Homer Badman. Also known as Homer S: Portrait of an Ass-Grabber.
11: Don't worry, Homer. Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year.
God, in Homer the Heretic. I maintain that God has enough appearances in the show to not count as a guest star.
12: How naive of me to think a mere atom bomb could fell the chattering cyclops!
Sideshow Bob, in Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming. He just had to go for that retro-fifties charm.
13: Talking out of turn? That's a paddling. Looking out the window? That's a paddling. Staring at my sandals? That's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that's a paddling.
Jasper (beardy guy who hangs out with Grandpa a lot), in The PTA Has Disbanded.
14: At the risk of editorializing, these women are guilty, and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion. Otherwise, their behavior could inspire other women, leading to anarchy of biblical proportions. ...It's in Revelations, people!
Kent Brockman, in Marge on the Lam. The "Technical difficulties" sign the network puts up in response to this outburst is priceless.
15: In fact, in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.
Lisa, in Bart vs. Australia.
16: 'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine!
The Old Sea Captain (the episode refers to him as Captain McAllister, but that's the only time I can recall him ever being addressed by name), aghast at Homer's appetite in The New Kid on the Block. Homer's lawsuit wasn't the main plot of the episode, but you got credit if you remembered even that much.
17: No, dig up, stupid!
Chief Wiggum, stuck in a hole in Homer the Vigilante.
18: I learned something about myself today. It ain't comedy that's in my blood. It's selling out.
Krusty, in The Last Temptation of Krust.
19: Hey man, don't badmouth the head.
Bart, in Blood Feud. Bart donates blood to save Mr Burns' life, gets a giant stone head in return instead of the monetary reward Homer was hoping for. Oooooold episode, not many people got this.
20: I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what is "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you!
Grandpa, in Homerpalooza.
BONUS: All Ralph, all the time. You just need the episode here.
B1: Me fail English? That's unpossible!
Lisa On Ice. Hockey episode.
B2: Tastes like Grandma!
E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt), AKA the Tomacco episode.
B3: That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things!
This Little Wiggy, Knowledgium/playdate episode.
B4: And when the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life.
Lisa the Greek, AKA the one where Homer uses Lisa for betting on football.
B5: I bent my wookie.
Lisa's Rival again
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Scores!
Soppy: 41/45
NEB: 37/45
Meeple: 36/45
CK: 33/45
Fudo: 33/45
Nitori: 31/45
Doma: 28/45
Trips: 26/45
Super: 4/45
Soppy dominates again, with NEB and Meeple fighting a close battle for second place. Credit goes to Super for trying!
I believe Trips was contemplating taking a round at some point, so I'll step aside and give him the floor if he's still interested.
