One lucky and/or talented Commenter has his work featured on this week's RPGP Winners page - send in your best Comments at the Arena, cross your fingers, and YOU could join them! Dwarves Imperiled! dark_nite2000@yahoo.com: Delita watched in the shadows as Orlandu and Cecil took turns laying waste to the unfortunate furry little animals. 'Yogurts,' he thought, his lips curling unnaturally in disgust, 'what completely inept little vermin. Can't they do *anything* themselves?' On cue, a chorused wail pierced the air as several of the furred gerbil-like creatures were impaled upon Orlandu's sword, as Cecil was busy keeping the rabid monsters off of his back. As much as he would have thoroughly enjoyed seeing them turned into Yogurt Flambe--which he'd heard from some was quite the delicacy in Rune--he soon decided to end this charade before the pitiful animals suffered for much longer. Jogurt still had friends. Really, really strong friends. With the ability to teleport. Shaking his head to himself, he melted from the shadows, approaching Cecil first. "Excuse me, milord," he stated humbly, bowing, "but I've found a most intriguing object. One of the Barons found it, and thought you'd take interest in it." The blond glanced his way, annoyance in his handsome features. "I'm a bit busy, soldier," he snapped, stabbing at another wave of Yogurts. "Out with it." Delita, underneath his disguise, shrugged. "Put this on, sire," he muttered hurriedly, forcing fear into his tone. "I think it protects you from their..." For a moment, he fumbled. 'Their what? Strength? Speed? *Intelligence*?' "Their what, soldier?" Orlandu harrumphed, taking a moment to glance over his shoulder to the man behind him, immediately focusing on the circular ring in his hand. "That's the Jogurt ring!" he exclaimed, idly swatting away another frenzied Yogurt. "Trait--" Knowing his cover was blown, he took the opportunity, gripping Orlandu's strong hand and shoving the ring upon his finger. A second passed, and nothing happened. Orlandu glared at Delita, and was about to strike, when a sudden cloud of smoke engulfed the Thundergod, some unknown force sending Delita and Cecil flying into the wall. Delita righted himself first, and witnessed, much to his amusement, that the mighty "T.G. Cid", a thorn that had persistently been in his side, was now an eighteen inch tall Yogurt. He smirked, taking a confident step forward as Cecil scrambled to kill the few Yogurts that ambled past him. "What are you going to do now, Thundergod?" Yogurt Orlandu meeped jovially, and--in what Delita could only describe as a sadistic gerbil smile--the furred animal pulled out a tiny circular ring, diving on him, forcing the magical ring onto his finger. Delita blinked, looking at the ugly brown ring which strangely molded perfectly to the shape of his finger. His middle finger, of all things. He harrumped in bitter humor. The bastard always *did* have a sick sense of humor. Suddenly, he felt a wave of warmth and nausea overcome him, and he clamped his eyes shut. The sensation passed in seconds, and when he opened his eyes again, the world was a much bigger place. His jaw dropped. 'That bastard turned me into a Yogurt!' he thought heatedly, as T.G. Yogurt had happily bounced next to Cecil, who had single-handedly wiped out most of the Yogurt clan. He figured as much would happen. Damn his stupidity for waiting too long. Cecil turned, his eyes widening at the sight of him. His lip twitched up several times, a few swells of chuckling escaping his throat before he took control of himself, readying his sword over Delita's now thorougly furred head. He meeped. 'Crap. Cecil and Orlandu: 123 3,491 Yogurts led by Jogurt: 91 zkoff@cyou.com Let's begin by analyzing Cecil and Orlandu: HP: Cecil: Jogurt does 1 damage per hit. Good thing Cecil has 4000 of those hit-point things. Orlandu: His hp is high where he comes from, but not so much here. But, thanks to Orlandu's outlandish ways of fighting, only five Yogurts can hit him at a time. Attacking more than one unit at a time: Cecil can only wax one at a time. Orlandu can hit up to five. (6 down, 3485 left!) Healing: Cecil has basic curative spells, plus a life spell. Orlandu could have been a Priest if he felt like it. Assumming a round would be about 10 seconds, and there are 1080 groups of 10 seconds in 3 hours, I'd say the sword-swingers will win by holding out. babbwa@vcu.edu The Yogurt warriors, alas, meet with sound defeat... Cecil and Orlandu didn't really need any help for this because a few good area-effect spells lay waste to the vermin hordes... I wouldn't even have worried about an encounter like this when Cecil was level 25 in game, and with all his abilities AND T.G. Cid, you get toasted groundchuck. Also, Cecil has the "rodent affinity" power because his last name is 'Harvey'... Darkwyrm@Dragonseek.com They may be powerful, but 3491 HP damage, with the total bieng lowered by just a few per round, is going to be something that is hard to stop.. Orlanduhater666@hoshigami.net You want a logical, sane writeup for a Jogurt match? HA! Just fear the rodents, and his legions of fans. Anonymous An overhead shot shows Cecil and a sprite-ized Orlandu sitting at the pass, waiting for the Yogurts. Bets are being taken as a rather nutty women leaps about publisizing the fight rather loudly. Cecil kicks her out and rejoins Orlandu. The Yogurts finally arrive and try to initiate battle. There are too many of them for a single battle, due to enemy-number limits, so Jogurt has two options: break it up into many, many, many smaller battles, or battle in the overworld. Since the Yogurts are slow, Cecil and Orlandu, if fighting in the overworld, could run around slashing and magic'ing like madmen. He declares the Yogurts to battle, all 3500 at once. Cecil covers Orlandu and just cures himself up every round while Orlandu kills the Yogurts one at a time. The Baronian troops arrive three hours later, wondering if they'd get their pay even if they didn't have to fight. motorcitymadkat@hotmail.com Yes even an army of Yogurts is still an army. Anonymous Cecil and Orlandu can handle them. If Orlandu is in his Holy Swordsman class then it will be very easy just by usuing one of the holy moves where it goes in a straight line. It being a narrow pass, it will prove deadly to the enemy. Then if any manage to escape the blow Cecil will smack them down. xXJowyAtreidesXx@hotmail.com I personally killed each dark dragon head with yogurt(once they were at one Hp) so I think the yogurts shouldn't have much trouble beating Orlandu and Cecil. Unoriginal This seems like a simple enough match, Orlandu and Cecil against a bunch of glorified hamsters, save for one small problem, the Yogurts only have to get by *one* of the swordsmen to win, and this clinches the victory for them. Orlandu won't be the one to fall though, between Excalabur's Auto-Haste, and his mastery of all forms of Holy Sword attacks, the Yogurts won't get anywhere near him. He'll just sit in his half of the narrow part of the pass and Holy Explosion the rodents at his leisure. None of the Yogurts will survive long enough to get within striking distance. Cecil, on the other hand, lacking ranged, multi-target attacks, will get swamped by the Yogurts. He'll take out his fair share of them, sure, but in the end he'll be on his back, covered with pawprints, and pondering other possible non-hamster infested vacationing spots. shibakev@earthlink.net Cecil and Orlandu were doing well against the Yogurt army. Extremely well. Amazingly well. The tiny creatures were so easily dispatched, that the two knights were barely breaking a sweat. After slaying a couple thousand of the creatures, a nice wall of dead Yogurts had formed which was stemming the advancing tide. Cecil turned and gave Orlandu a quick thumbs up, as the flow of Yogurts finally stopped. Then, a single, small, furry creature leapt over the wall of bodies and flopped on the ground in front of them. Cecil and Orlandu looked at each other in puzzlement as the tiny creature lay on its back and waggled its tiny legs in the air. "That's not a Yogurt..." mused Orlandu. "It's a Hamster!" screamed Cecil in terror. Just then, four crosses of energy smashed into Cecil and threw him backwards into the wall. Orlandu spun around quickly, looking in every direction for an attacker. Then, the wall of dead Yogurts exploded as thousands of hamsters barrelled down the hall. Orlandu and Cecil were trampled and dead within seconds. "We Yogurts aren't the only Furry Ones down here," smiled Jogurt. Shraifer@hotmail.com Cecil swings his sword down to slice open another Yogurt, which he then kicks away in contempt for the two hundredth time, he then turn to Orlandu and says> "Oh man, this is not good," as he watches the Yogurt's strategy of simply falling into the lava holes to form stable ground to walk on. Jogurt, standing on top of a dead yogurt, which is part of a long bridge says> "Forward fellow yogurts, crush the enemy back." Orlandu smiles in amusement at Jogurt's little speech, while continuing to watch the yogurt army advance, but still leave his excalibur holsted in its proper place. Cecil, get desperate as he is fighting a whole row of yogurts by himself says> "Are you listening old man? We are almost surrounded and you have not moving an inch since the battle started!!! Those rodents are overwelming not only us, but the remaining guards!" Orlandu slowly turns towards Cecil and says, "Boy you need to learn to have some patients," as he cast CT 5 holy. Within seconds, several hundred giant waves of holy smash into the charging yogurt ranks, causing them to fall down into the hot dust beneath them, while all of Cecil's guard including himself (who were weilding holy swords) were heal by the fearsome attack. Orlandu turn to the gaping Cecil and says> "So, you were saying what about me not doing my fair share?" mrduran@acsu.buffalo.edu RPGP Fact #1: A single Yogurt, the Legendary Jogurt, defeated Melbu Frahma in a bonus match. RPGP Fact #2: Cecil is in heavy. Yogurt Fact: All Yogurts are equal in power. Legend of Dragoon Fact: Melbu Frahma is a fairly powerful last boss, with many different forms and abilities. He also easily dispatched of Lloyd in game, a former Godlike finalist. Conclusion #1: Jogurt > Melbu Frahma > Lloyd Conclusion #2: Cecil and Orlandu would stand a better chance at beating 3,491 Melbu Frahmas or 3,491 Lloyds than 3,491 Yogurts. Conclusion #3: Since Jogurt is stronger than a former Godlike finalist, he is in the same league as Godlike champions. Conclusion #4: No mere heavy such as Cecil can stand up to a Godlike champion. Likewise, his Baron troops are a non-factor as well. Conclusion #5: Essentially, this match is one Godlike champion calibur contestant, Orlandu, versus 3,491 Godlike champion caliber contestants. It might as well be one Orlandu versus 3,491 Orlandus. Conclusion #6: This is the most lopsided match in history, one that the Yogurts cannot possibly lose. Sac@sachw.cjb.net Oh come on. You just KNOW the Jogurt fanboys will give him the bonus match victory. RydiaCaller@aol.com Kill the Yogurts, Cecil!!! DragoonJay@excite.com By looking at the write-up, Jogurt and his Yogurts are seeking to distribute the wealth of mushrooms among a great number of his people. That obviously means that he and his brethren are card-carrying Communists. By comparison, the duo of Orlandu and Harvey are trying to benefit industry for the good of the rich, so they're the Capitalists. (I mean, come on, their names even sound like a law firm!) By looking at the Big Book of Conflicts, we see that the winner of the Cold War were the capitalists. Consequently, in a world that desires balance, the commies need to have a victory of equal proportions. A victory like eating mushrooms. WickeDHugh@hotmail.com Yes, the moment I've been waiting for! Voting Yuber into Godlike. Ahhhh, it feels so very good. Lackshmana@aol.com Hugo, Geddoe, and Chris should all be Heavy powerhouses.... But, I was hoping that Futch and Luc would be allowed to retain their old ranks...and just blow through the competition. Oh well, they should both fair well in higher divisions anyway. Majinradshadow@aol.com Nash is one to get many wins if he stays in Heavy One being that He owns the Grosser Fluss, and if you have played a Suikogaiden game you would know that that is one of the most powerful weapons in the series. Granted the fights are one on one so he can use it and not worry about hurting anyone else. He is also a master of many(did I mention many) weapons weapons, plus he is skilled with gun powder. He is an excellent fighter and has magic skills to boot. I know I'm ranting....I just wanted to let you all know that he should get a match next season. I'm calling it, Nash Latjke, rookie rpgp player makes a astounding jump onto the site and wins respect at least. At least I think he can win. Sorry I'll stop ranting. AshburnerX@yahoo.com Yes, the moment I've been waiting for! VotI think it's about time for a 6-Way Robot Rumble in the RPGP... With the addition of Asgard from Wild Arms 3, there are now 4 Powerful Robot-Android characters to use: Robo (Chrono Trigger), Ershin (BoF4), Worker 8 (FFT), Emeralda (Xenogears), Asgard (Wild Arms 3), And that other girl from Xenogears (She was one of the elements). You could even make this a battle of the sexs with Asgard, Robo, and Worker 8 on one side and Emeralda, Ershin, and OGFX on the side. Could be interesting... MoogleEmpMog@Laguorok.org OH, YEAH. Hyuga may as well resign right now - do we even need a Godlike season? Kazan so amazingly > the entire Godlike class it isn't even funny. The only possible way this man can lose is if he gets drunk before a match. Damage, speed, combos, health, toughness, cool factor... he's the perfect contestant. Also, Bubba for Godlike! Do Hugo Franz and Futch get to ride their respective mounts? If so, all are super-high-heavy or low-to-mid Godlike. What the heck, they're good even on foot, especially Futch. Nash needs to be in Heavy so he can dispatch all the other agents (Ashley, Snake, Rolf, etc) using actual cleverness instead of fighting power. Do you want YOUR comments seen at the RPG Playoffs Online? Just send them in along with your votes and Mr. Cranbud and the RPGP staff will review them for publication! Please refrain from using vulgar or otherwise offensive language in your comments, since Mr. Cranbud will only accept such language if it is used for genuine humorous effect, and only on a good day.