..Knowing that we had to return to Ghaleon's place was one thing, but actually getting inside was another. Yuffie and I had left the library, and as it was after midnight, we decided that it would be better to get some sleep; if someone was to be sacrificed, they were already a memory. Surprisingly, I managed to sleep well that evening.
..The following morning, I met Yuffie at her place, and the two of us went for a walk to try and make some sense of how we were going to get into Ghaleon's without him noticing. Our ideas were dismal, and I couldn't help but wonder how much worse they'd be if my partner in this matter weren't a master thief and ninja. It was a wonder no one said "Maybe we should hit him with a frying pan."
..Luck kept springing up all over. Yuffie's friend from the other day caught her attention and bounded on over to us. "Yuffie," she said, "it's the most amazing thing! You'll never guess who's decided to come out of his room!" Jackpot. Somebody must have liked me. To celebrate, I flexed my eyebrows at Yuffie's pal, who crinkled her nose at me. So the cosmos were telling me not to push my luck. I was fine with that.
..We strolled over to the beach, but held our distance. Sure enough, old tall, pasty and handsome was there, relaxing in a beach chair. There was a huge crowd of women and children gawking at him. I guess it was one of the perks of being famous.
.. "Where are the men?" Yuffie asked.
..Without bothering to think on that one, I said, "They're probably surrounding Royce and Xenobia." Yuffie gave me a sidelong glance and arched an eyebrow at me - a trick I hadn't figured she knew how to do. I shrugged at her and didn't try to defend myself. Yuffie couldn't deny how beautiful Ghaleon's fan club was.
..My pal Setzer likes to say that you shouldn't let a good opportunity go to waste if you've got the best of it. With that general idea in mind, we headed off straight away for Ghaleon's hotel. If we could get in and get back out, we just might not have to worry about being killed instantly by dark magic.
..On the way there, I spotted my old friend in black, standing with his arms crossed in an alley. He gave me that same evil look he'd given me a few nights back, and I have to admit it felt a little cold. Wordlessly, he turned around and wandered off in the direction of the beach. I didn't have the time to think about him, so I just kept walking.
..When we finally got to the hotel, Yuffie casually popped the lock to Ghaleon's room. On a sidenote, the room was positively breathtaking. I mean, it had seemed beautiful before, but for some reason, I never noticed it in the same light that I did now. There was probably something blonde and leggy getting in the way.
..I motioned for Yuffie to get one side of the suite, and I moved to the other. We began systematically opening up drawers and chests. If that knife was in here, we'd find it.
..When I got to one of the drawers, I was struck with the notion to quit my job as a P.I., and move myself to the business of tabloid reporting. Then I realized that the drawer in question was probably used by one or all of the ladies instead of Ghaleon, and things got a little blurry after that. I made a little noise, and I remember Yuffie slugging me somewhere in there. There may have been a slight amount of fabric caressing, though I'm just a man and you're not the judge of me, anyhow. Maybe I should get back to the story.
..After awhile, I pulled open a desk drawer in the back and a familiar looking knife stared me right in the face. I motioned Yuffie over and presented the blade to her.
..After some deliberation, she looked back up at me and nodded slowly. "Yeah, this looks a lot like the one in the picture. I think we can say Ghaleon's responsible for all this."
..I agreed with her. I pocketed the knife and set about to putting everything else the way it was. Hopefully we had a case against Ghaleon, and he'd go down quietly to the authorities. And hey, while I was asking for the impossible, maybe I could get his groupies together for a little four-way action. A man can dream.
..I left the room ahead of Yuffie and waited for her in the stairwell by the window. She'd rifled through a few more things than I did. She was also in charge of relocking the door, which was apparently even harder than unlocking it when you didn't have a key. I had never thought of the concept before. It was a wonder I'd lasted this long in my business.
..Things were looking up, though. I'd had the knife. Yuffie seemed content with my findings. We could let the authorities figure out what to do with Ghaleon, while my underwear, money and I could run back home and promise never to leave one another again. Yuffie had had herself a little adventure, and the world felt inviting for her again.
..A painfully feminine voice from behind me, a bit further down the stairs said, "Just what do you think you're doing?"
..Oh, shit.
..I froze in place, and for the first time since we'd met, my mouth was hanging open at the sight of Royce and Xenobia for reasons unrelated to their sex appeal. In fact, this was the first time I was hoping they didn't feel like touching me. I had no comebacks. I had no excuses. The two had come home early and caught me red-handed.
.. "Oh, I'm gonna enjoy killing you," Xenobia said, sneering. To my astonishment, she could look positively ugly when she was actively striving for my untimely death. Go figure.
.. "No," said Royce. "I'm going to kill him first. You're welcome to play with the body, though."
..I shouldn't have to note that I was not turned on by the "Play with the body" crack.
..Yuffie picked an unfortunate moment to stroll down the first part of the stairs. "Face," she said. "I'm all finished up. Are you ready to go?" She let out a little gasp when she saw the crazed witches in front of me. It was positively the least tomboyish thing I'd seen her do up until that point.
..Things got kind of crazy then. One of Ghaleon's chicks - I think it was Xenobia - let out some kind of a warcry. Both of them started gesturing in the air and mumbling things to themselves. Yuffie produced a shuriken that was about the size out of her back out of somewhere I've never had the courage to ask her about and protectively raised her other arm in front of me. For the record, even if it's a ninja-princess doing the protective gesture, it is still emasculating.
..Not wanting anything to do with a magical fight to my death, I decided that a different sort of plan was in order. Now, remember earlier when I said something about having a few tricks up my sleeve? It was damned sure the right time to use one of those about then. I slipped my hand into my coat pocket and felt around for a certain trinket I'd bought off of Setzer some time ago. It was a thin little circle, covered with feathers that felt as soft as an angel's. I slipped it onto my wrist. I think none of the ladies noticed me move.
..Their chanting had grown louder and more fevered then, so I knew that it was now or never. Yuffie grasped this too, and she raised her weapon at Royce, who was closest, and moved to strike. I was quicker, though.
..Flinging my arm over Yuffie's shoulders, I hurled myself backwards out of the fifteenth story window of the largest building in Costa del Sol.



~VSM