"Greetings, ladies and berks! I'm sure you all know who I am, but for those of you with less than functional cerebrums, I'll introduce myself again. I'm Morte, the real host of Behind the Scenes, and don't you forget it! Let's see...I like long walks down muddy side streets at late hours of the night, scaring little old ladies into heart attacks, and otherwise just wise-cracking at anyone I meet. If you're interested, give me a call...just no live ones"

Due to the graphic nature of the rest of this biography, we have compiled it into a more presentable set of sentences. Please enjoy -DL Staff

Morte's history in the DL has been fairly bright up until recently. Taking up a quick spot as a co-host ( "Despite what the Shakespeare reject might say otherwise" - Chisato Madison ) on Behind the Scenes, Morte has proven to be a popular and dynamic character, loved and hated ( "Usually moreso hated than loved" - Gilgamesh ) by fans everywhere. His recent loss of DL membership to very questionable circumstances ( "No, I think he's guilty. Damn Mimir bit off the ring Frei gave me for my last birthday. He's a lying bag of bones, I tell you!" - Odin ) has hurt many people emotionally ( "And physically, since, well Morte bit them when they laughed at him" - Ultros ), but never fear: Morte will never leave Behind the Scenes for as long as the RPGDL stands! ( "Damnit!" - Chisato Madison, Ultros, Gilgamesh, Odin )