 | YES! It took being his personal servant for most of the break, but Nate's letting me have a shot at running the show! Finally, everyone will see what I can really do! Shion, Duran, Zidane, you all set up?
|
 | Just leave all the technical stuff to me! With Vector's top scientist on board, you won't have a thing to worry about.
|
 | Thanks for hiring me for security, Lord Odin. The NDF can really use the paycheck.
|
 | Goodbye failure monkeyboy, hello respectable co-anchor! Check out the new threads, eh? Got 'em just for this occasion. Garnet's gonna flip when she sees me on TV like this. Anyway, you ready for this big O?
|
| Showtime!
|
| Aaaaaand rolling!
|
| Welcome back to the Dueling League ladies and gentlemen, so glad you could join us here on Behind the Scenes, where we take a closer look at the lives of everyone's favorite combatants and what they do when they aren't killing eachother for sport. I'm Odin, king of the gods, and this is my co-host, the legendary hero Zidane Tribal.
|
| Thank you Odin, and it's good to be back after that long break. Forty seasons of dueling goodness was alot of work, but now that we're rested up, it's time to jump right back into the swing of things.
|
| Right you are. And speaking of getting into the swing of things, why don't we go ahead and bring our first guests out here?
|
| Alright, introducing our Godlike guests, we have one of the more popular silent mains, as well as a man who's been a good friend to two others. Please welcome Guv and Ted! And congratulations on making it back into Godlike, Ted.
|
 | Thanks.
|
 | ...
|
| He says hi.
|
| I've been meaning to ask, just how do you understand people who don't talk, Ted?
|
| Well, you basically just answered it yourself. I'm friends with two different guys who "don't talk", though honestly I can hear them just fine. It's not that they don't talk, it's that you all can't hear them. I'm sure there's some reasonable explanation for it all, but I'm a mage, not a scientist.
|
| Huh. Well, how about it Guv? Anything you'd like to say while there's a guy who can translate for you right here?
|
| ...
|
| Yeah, he wants to know where Ultros is.
|
| Ultros? Well, he and the rest of the usual cast aren't working today. Mr. Nanjo is trying a new approach to the show. Um, can I ask why he wants to see Ultros in particular?
|
| ...
|
| Uh, looks like he was planning on roughing him up and adding him to his monster collection.
|
| Well in that case, here's his business card. I'll write his address on the back.
|
| Heh, well, back to the topic at hand, Guv, Ted, no offense meant here, but even with the immense powers at your disposal, you two are among the weaker Godlikes fighting this season. In particular, your opponents are Yuna and the third Ryu, generally considered to be the most powerful PCs this side of Blue. How do you plan to deal with opponents of this caliber?
|
| The Soul Eater doesn't care if you're a human, a dragon or even a god. Stand against it and you're going to die. It's really as simple as that.
|
| ...
|
| He says he'll rely on his ability to summon more then one monster at a time, as well as the fact that he's a tough soldier type as opposed to a chick with a stick to push through. Still, even if we lose, it's not like we're getting spoiled by scrubs here. No shame in losing to those two, though we're not about to just hand them the win here.
|
| Well spoken! Such pride, such conviction! Have you two gentlemen ever thought about a career in the Norgard Defense Force?
|
| ...
|
| ...
|
| Duran! What did Lord Odin tell you about recruiting on the show?
|
| Oh, right. Not to do it. Sorry, I'll...go back to waiting at the door.
|
| Right, well. Ted, Guv, thank you both for coming. It's been a pleasure.
|
| Not a problem.
|
| ...
|
| Uh oh, looks like Munchie hopped out of his pocket. Anyone have a piece of cheese to lure him out with?
|
| Aha, you'll not chew up these rugs on MY watch, rodent! En guarde! Hey, ow, HOTHOTHOTWHYISTHEMOUSEBREATHINGFIREONME!?!?!?!?
|
| Nevermind, looks like Duran found him.
|
| ...
|
| We'll just collect him on the way out.
|
| Well at least it's not the guests getting injured this time. Shion, patch Duran up and send in the heavies for me?
|
| Sure thing.
|
| Well, lets welcome in our Heavies, the first Tales of summoner, Claus, and the emperor of
the Scarlet Moon Empire, Barbarossa.
|
 | Heh, gotta feel a little weird for you of all people to be welcoming a king named Barbarossa, huh?
|
 | That's 'Emperor'. I did not reign over a mere kingdom.
|
| Uh, sure thing boss. Y'know, I'm a summoner, Rydia's a caller and Yulie is a paladienne, which are three TOTALLY different things. Really.
|
| Do not be so quick to mock your betters, young man.
|
| Oh, I never mock my betters, I assure you.
|
| Gentlemen, gentlemen, calm down. You two aren't even fighting yet, why the antagonism Claus?
|
| Hmm? Oh, it's nothing personal. I'm just practicing my trash talk for my first match. Don't want to disappoint the fans, you know?
|
| Fans? Are you, or are you not the *last* member of your cast to get a match?
|
| Hey, best for last, baby.
|
| Come on, who didn't see that line coming?
|
| It would seem that you and Zidane here have a similar thought process.
|
| ...oh, so that's the way you want to be? Alright old man, NOW it's personal.
|
| Hey!
|
| No fighting on the set, no fighting on the set! Gentlemen, calm down, please!
|
| No fighting on the...?
|
| This IS Behind the Scenes, is it not? I thought you encouraged such behavior?
|
| Chisato did, yes. But we're trying to get this show past it's crude 'humor through violence' roots.
|
| That's right. This is the new and improved Behind the Scenes, under my wise and just direction.
|
 | And can't we all just hear the sound of the ratings dropping like the IQ of those who are still watching it.
|
| YOU! Prepare yourself villain! FOR NORGARD!!!
|
| Hmm? Oh, Vaynard's dog, is it? Oh alright, I suppose I have a moment.
|
| *crack* *pop* *CRUNCH*
|
| But just one moment. Now, Odin, hand me that microphone, I have something to announce.
|
| Beat it, Dryst. I've got a show to finish and I'm not letting you ruin this chance for me.
|
| What are you doing here anyway, you're not even in this season!
|
| Of course I'm not, you simpleton! Some of us have actual WORK to do around here. Now get out of may way.
|
| Hey, give that mic back! I've got a show to finish!
|
| Still going on about that? Fine, fine, I'll finish the show for you. You, monkey, get these two idiots out of here. There's only one ranked Heavy worth wasting this much time on and they aren't him.
|
| Uh, O-man, I think it's better if we just let him have his way. Less damage to the studio, Nate'll probably be less pissed.
|
| ...
|
| Now for middle we have a dragon and a puppet monster thing. Quickly, say something entertaining if you have any wit in your damaged skulls.
|
 | Skree?
|
 | I'm Bebedora.
|
| Close enough.
|
| Wait, wasn't Twilight of the Spirits booted?
|
| Yeah, but Darc, Kharg and her survived it.
|
| Alright, the brothers I can understand, by why the little girl?
|
| I'm not a little girl. I'm Bebedora.
|
| Yes, we've established that. You're also eating into my valuable air time, so out you go.
|
| If you're going to shanghai the show, you can at least take the time to do it right.
|
| I am doing it right. Now someone send in the Lights. Who do we have here, an old man who plays with dolls and a man with the most descriptive name since the blue haired kid named Red. Yes, I'm talking to you two, get out here and say something so I can throw you out already!
|
 | Something.
|
 | You know, I think I prefer Chisato to this guy.
|
| I agree completely, which is why I took over.
|
| I wasn't talking about Odin.
|
| Of course you were.
|
| Wait, Gepetto and Bebedora? Is this puppet week or something and no one told me? Will Mel be showing up too?
|
| Can I get out of here now?
|
| By all means, make haste and take the old man with you.
|
| No need for that, I'm happy to leave.
|
| See, now your precious show is all wrapped up. And the rest of the airtime is mine.
|
| Grr...
|
| Ladies, gentlemen, and slavering braindead devotees to mindless violence of all ages, I am something that vaguely resembles pleased to announce that the real attraction of this wretched pit, the Best Of The Not Ranked Tournament that is run by yours truly will be back in business very soon! And we have some new duelers joining the old favorites. Let's introduce a few of them, shall we? As a new entrant to our Godlike division, we have the creatively named Boy from Secret of Evermore!
|
 | Hey, nice studio you've got here. This is just like that part in Killer Walrus Pirates From Neptune where the cameraman accidentally films the whole studio instead of just the set and they left it in the movie.
|
| Oh, I love that movie! The best part is when they're fighting the sentient cabbage ninjas from Uranus.
|
| Oh yeah, that was awesome. And then they...
|
| MOVING ON, we also have Marianne from Legaia 2 who was snubbed when the rest of the PCs and that Avalon wanker got ranked, which is fine because now she gets to compete in the far superior tournament.
|
 | Teehee, it was sooooo lovely of master Dryst to invite me here. I'm so very looking forward to grinding one worthless human after another under my heel and adding a lovely championship belt to my wardrobe.
|
| Well, I'm sure you'll do just fine. Just take a look at you, you're obviously well suited to being in Heavy.
|
| ...what did you just say?
|
| All I'm saying is that you're obviously a very well rounded fighter.
|
| Are you implying something about my figure?
|
| Implying? How about that you make Curvy Hilda look like a good choice for a pinup by comparison?
|
| ...sweet merciful me, the mental image...
|
| ...excuse me master Dryst, I need to go EVICERATE A MONKEY!!!!
|
| Catch me if you can, jellyrolls!
|
| Wow, he's really good at running away.
|
| It's all the practice he gets. Now if we can get the focus back away from Zidane and his cowardly antics, I have a demonic zebra to introduce. Harley, get out here!
|
 | Me? O-okay. Those Embryon guys aren't here right? You promised they wouldn't be.
|
| Embryon? Oh, like Serph and...
|
| DON'T SAY THAT NAME!!!!
|
| Uh...okay. Why so worked up about them?
|
| Why am I...? Because they want to frikkin' EAT ME man!!!!!
|
 | Hey, is it just me or is the heat acting up in here?
|
| HEAT!? OH GOD I'M OUTTA HERE!!!!!
|
| You did that on purpose.
|
| I have no idea what you're talking about. I was just feeling a little chilly, that's all.
|
| Convenient alibi, especially as you had just moved next to the Mist Dragon.
|
 | Roar?
|
| Hmm, so I did. Who'da thunk it, I didn't even see her there. Bad eyesight you know.
|
| Hah.
|
| Excuse me Mr. Dryst, but we're running over on time.
|
| Are you happy now? You just wrecked my big shot at hosting the show! Grumble grumble stupid grumble grumble.
|
| Hmph, honestly I did you a favor. Thanks to my timely intervention you might be allowed to keep your old job instead of getting canned entirely. Well, I have minions to whip into productivity, so I'll leave you to your divine moping.
|
| Hey, gods do not mope! We brood. There's a difference.
|
| Sorry about all that, Odin. Well, I'm killing the cameras.
|
| **************************Nate's mansion******************
|
 | Well, that all went over about as well as expected.
|
 | Wait, you knew Dryst was going to crash the party?
|
| Of course, he cleared it with me last week. I even set up a substantial anonymous bet that Duran would get killed on camera in a fashion that involved neither a crewmember, a guest or an accidental death through his own stupidity.
|
| ...you are a scheming bastard, you know that?
|
| Yes, but a *rich* scheming bastard. And for not mentioning my little bet, dinner's on me.
|
| Bet? What bet? |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!