Once again, I, your grand and heroic host Mystere, welcome you back to the RPGDL, just in time for week two of Season Sixteen! With a host of fighters great and small, many fan favourites returning after a long hiatus, we're sure you'll find someone to root for!

Before we being with this week's main matches, however, jump on over to Week One's Results for a look at who is still in the running for a championship title. Was Hyuga able to outsmart his feline opponent? Did our newest Pokemon prove himself a worthy addition to the DL roster? Was Noel relegated to fits of sneezing? And the match I'm sure you're all dying to find out who won: Does Shigeo or Zidane stand triumphant, ready to be slaughtered by their opponent this week? Take a look inside, dear readers, and then it's time to move on...

...to Week Two! In Light, the DL is proud to present representatives of two newly ranked games: Final Fantasy One and Star Ocean: Till the End of Time! Will Sophia and White Wizard prove themselves to be worthy new additions? In Middle we've got two guys ( to be confused with Guys ) fighting for their shot at a title: will they win their battles this week, an cause us headaches by facing each other in the quarterfinals? In Heavy, a deadly battle between religion and science awaits us: will science's greatest weapon be able to defeat a hardened warrior from the Vatican? And finally, in Godlike, we have not one, but two Harmonixers fighting it out! Kurando and Yuri: will they show that transforming into monsters is superior to summoning them? Has Yuna been doing it wrong all along? I'm sure you're dying to see the rest of the matches we have in store for you, dear readers, so head on in!

But don't mosey on out yet, dear readers! The RPG Strategy League is still up and running strong: why don't you head on over and see how the battlefield is developing? Last week saw Etna and Gordon facing off against the forces of both Lyndis and Hector - find out who is still standing alive, and how many Prinnies were harmed in the making of this battle, inside, dear readers!

And you just can't so no to signing up for an account at the RPGDL Forums! Well, you can, but what good would that do you? With an account, you can access all the active forums on the site, take part in weekly debates, suggest bonus matches, and be a significant part of the internet phenomenon called the RPGDL! Don't hesitate; sign up now!

And to cap off another brilliantly designed introduction - if I do say so myself, which I do, being the harbinger of swift justice and all - we have Chisato Madison and her crack team of journalistic sleuths, ready and waiting to take you behind the scenes:
Welcome to Behind the Scenes, the only show that makes your V-Chip explode from overuse! I'm Gilgamesh, along with Morte and Ultros. And now, the host of our show, Ms. Chisato Madison!
Good evening. I would like to begin by expressing my condolences to the audience at Lake Castle. We hope your recovery is swift.
And not just because we fear lawsuits.
I'm just wondering how Nadir could have mixed up the laughing gas with carbon monoxide.
Perhaps we could ask our first guest. Hello, Amy.
Hi. How are you all?
I'm feeling a little faint. I think I could use some hands-on treatment, if you know what I mean.
Amy, as a pacifist doctor, why do you constantly feel the need to compete in the DL? This is your third time in, after all.
I don't know. There are people who advocate a hands-on approach to teaching, you could say.
That makes sense. The easiest way to learn about broken arms is to break a few yourself.
I wouldn't go that far. I mean, I wouldn't want to inconvenience the medical staff any more than necessary. I have to work besides them after all.
Thank you very much, Amy. Gilgamesh, send in the next guest.
We have a bit of a problem with that...
...
So what? She's a silent character. We've done this before.
That's a she? I thought it was just a really feminine guy.
Who knows? That's not the problem. You see, s/he doesn't exactly have a personality installed.
Installed?
You know how the FF I characters are kind of generic? Well, it turns out that they're mass produced.
By who?
How do you like my new White Waltz model? I just wish they'd take some fashion tips from me.
Every day this job teaches me that I can get used to anything. Just let it talk so we can get this over with.
All right. Personality subroutine 42 selected.
Like, hi! I'm White Wizard, and I want to be your friend, if you'll let me.
Well, isn't that sweet. I'm sure we could find someone to be your friend.
Yes, I think Penance has been lonely lately.
That sounds so sad! I'll try and cheer him up.
All right, but just remember - you asked for it.
Wheeee!
It always feels a bit awkward when they're oblivious to their fate.
That's just your conscience. It goes away in time.
Right. You can't be a successful journalist by caring for your targets.
Shall we move on? We have a couple of guys here for Middle.
Hi.
Great, as if today couldn't get worse. Whose bright idea was this?
I scheduled one guy. Is it my fault if both of them thought it was them?
And you can say that with a straight face? Let's just do this. Guy, how are you?
It could be better...
No, no, stop it! You, the Guy with the green hair.
Yes, ma'am?
You're going first. Now, I hear you have a goal to be the strongest knight ever.
Of course! That is my goal, my reason for being!
Then why wouldn't you make an effort to get better with the bow?
I am a swordsman! What use could I have of such things?
Actually, bowmanship has been an important skill for knights of most cultures. After all, ranged combat is the great bane of close-combat fighters such as ourselves.
So, you practice the blade as well? That's a surprise. Then you must know that it would be more beneficial to concentrate on your strengths than it would to dilute your talents.
Not at all. I'm not saying that you should quit training and spend night and day with the bow. It just makes sense to know more about your adversary. Battles won't always be when and how you'd like them to be, as I'm sure you're aware of.
That is true, but in an army, you should strive to fulfill your role to the best of your abilities. Another will defend you, and you shall defend them in turn.
In case you haven't noticed, the DL is not for armies. Instead, it's for individuals. Though your approach is wise for a group, seeking to be the strongest individually means that you have to be prepared for a variety of situations.
This is really turning into an interesting debate. Unfortunately, debates don't sell advertising slots, so I'm afraid I'll have to end this debate the way most debates end.
"With lots of damage to the limbs?", he asked brokenly.
Of course not. What this debate needs is flames. Flame Thrower!
Odin, please report to the studio for cleanup duty.
While we wait for Moppy to get here, let's move along to Heavy. Introducing fellow living-impaired fighter Neclord, and living Barbie doll Valvalis.
Bwa ha ha ha!
Greetings.
Neclord, what exactly is it like being a vampire?
I'd have to say that it's a tad overrated. Not that I regret becoming one, you know. It just...
Kind of sucks?
I wouldn't have used a pun, but the sentiment is about correct.
That doesn't sound like the Neclord I know.
Why must I constantly be evil? I'm a creature of darkness, but does that mean I have to be persecuted?
What the heck is going on?
Maybe he's got a soul now.
Nah, it's probably just an Anne Rice phase.
Well, if there's anything I can't stand in my interviews...
It's advertising.
And making you look stupid.
And cheery goodness.
That's enough. I was going to say angst.
So, what are you going to do. Attack me like I'm some kind of animal?
Of course not. I'm just going to kindly ask Valvalis to strike up a wind around the flaming corpses.
Of course.
Aagh!
Valvalis, I have only one question for you. What conditioner do you use?
It's a blend I made myself. It features a few Mysidian plants with fresh spring water and the blood of a Kary.
Grisly, yet effective. I like it.
You're not the only one, chief...
Does that mean I can leave now?
Sure, go ahead. Our final guests are Count Cidolfas Orlandu and Odd Eye.
Hello.
Greetings.
Cid, there are recent grumblings about taking away your Excalibur.
WHAT?!
It's true. You know, you could always give it to me for safekeeping.
Complaints about it have started to trickle in. I take it you're not too happy about this.
You're bloody well right I'm not happy! They can't take my baby from me! It's mine, my precious!
Jeez. A pervert AND a psycho.
I am not a pervert! That was a setup by Edge, and you know it!
I only report the facts, sir, and the evidence is clearly against you. What are you planning on doing now?
I... I need a lawyer. I have to find out if I have some legal defense against this attack on my honour.
Yeah, good luck with that. Your reputation won't exactly let you hire the best of the best.
AARGH!
What an excitable man. He really should learn to keep his temper.
Odd Eye, the final question of the broadcast is yours. What are your plans to defeat Yuri?
I just have to take things one step at a time. I can't be getting too far ahead of myself.
You mean by overanalysing?
No, by tripping over things. I am blind, you know.
...
That wasn't funny, was it.
Not really.
*sigh* My interviews always go better in my mind.
Don't they always. Why I can think of an interview I would have with Ayla that...
Don't start, Morte, we're finishing up. Thanks for watching, and be sure to tune in next week for the next thrilling installment of Behind the Scenes!