PIMMPOMF

~Grefter

NO ANNOUNCER THIS SEASON GOOD FANS, WE HAVE A PROJECT THAT WE WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT FIRST HAND. IT IS A SIMPLE THING IN TRIBUTE TO THIS MOST GLORIOUS OF SEASONS. STUDDED LEATHER IS IN AND WE COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. SO WE PUT TOGETHER THIS ALBUM OF SOME OF OUR FAVOURITE TRACKS REMIXED INTO A FORMAT FITTING THE SEASON. FIRST UP, WE TURNED THE BASS WAY UP AND SLOWED THEM ALL DOWN SO THEY HAD A NICE STEADY SLOW RHYTHM JUST PERFECT TO MATCH YOUR HEART BEAT AND THE TEMPO AS YOU SWAY THOSE HIPS. NEXT UP, WE MADE SURE THERE WAS NO SAXOPHONES. WE DON'T WRITE NO DAMNED MUSIC FOR TRANNY PORN. SO HERE IS THE TRACK LIST AND WHAT WE DID WITH EACH TRACK. WE JUST WANT TO KNOW WHICH ONE YOU THINK WILL GET THOSE COMBI VANS A ROCKIN'. THE ALBUM IS CALLED PIMMPOMF. WE ARE NOT SAYING WHAT IT MEANS.

Mr. Moustache - Nirvana.
WE OPEN UP ON A FASTER PIECE. FAST, HARD AND EAGER, JUST THE WAY SOME LIKE IT AND CERTAINLY THE WAY OF THE YOUTH.

Imperial March - written by John Williams.
NATURALLY WE ELIMINATED ANYTHING REMOTELY CLOSE TO A SAXOPHONE OF ANY KIND AND REPLACED IT WITH A DRUM MACHINE. YOU WILL FEEL THE POUNDING ALL THROUGH YOUR BODY AND IN EVERY SINGLE PLACE THAT COUNTS.

OH CTHULHU, YOU AND I.
AN OLD CLASSIC. PERFECT AFTER A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN, WITH CANDLELIGHT LUNCH AND A GRINDCORE CONCERT BEING PLAYED IN THE BACKGROUND. YOU DINE ON FISH EGGS OR WHATEVER IS ROMANTIC NOWADAYS. THEN YOU GET DOWN AND DO THE NASTY WITH ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

In The Hall of the Mountain King - Greig.
GREIG AND SHAG CARPET GO HAND IN FIST FULL OF CARPET.

Erotomania - Dream Theater.
A LONG, FAST INSTRUMENTAL PIECE LIKE THIS IS PERFECT FOR PROFESSIONAL MUSICIANS LIKE OURSELVES WHO AFTER HAVING PLAYED AT SO MANY CONCERTS HAVE BUILT UP AMAZING STAMINA. YOU WILL BE OUT OF BREATH BY THE TIME YOU GET TO THE END AND YOUR FINGERS COULD BE A BIT SORE, BUT IT IS WORTH IT.

WCTBGOMUNTWBWYWSCTGTBLFAIBLTGATCAWTPOOFAM
ANOTHER OLDIE. STILL HAHA WTPOOFAM.

Knife Party - Deftones.
IT TAKES ALL FOLKS FOR ALL KINDS OF STROKES, AND ALL THOSE KINDS OF STROKES IS WHAT THIS ALBUM IS ALL ABOUT.

Hello, I Love You - The Doors.
WON'T YOU TELL ME YOUR NAAAAAAAMMMEEEEEE! SOME PEOPLE JUST GET OFF ON ANONYMOUS SEX.

SMURFS THEME SONG. (DRONE METAL REMIX - Reporned)
NO COMMENT.

Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong - Radiohead
SLOW AND TOUCHY FEELY SONG TO FINISH OFF THE ALBUM. JUST IN CASE THERE ARE SOME OUT THERE THAT ARE STILL INTO PLAIN OLD BORING SEX. THEY MIGHT EXIST I SUPPOSE. MAYBE? POSSIBLY?
  • I have come to clean ze pool, says Mr. Moustache.
  • Damn, those Femtroopers are nice.
  • Oh Cthlhu, let us spend this night together! One more touch! Then my mind will shatter!
  • Dead composers are hot.
  • I dream of erotomania. To find someone that can keep up with the lead guitar is my desire.
  • WTPOOFAM!
  • Hello to you stranger in this copy room.
  • Lala lalala Oh yeah, a little to the left lalala.
  • Filthy gophers! Why can't you just do it like normal people!
  • Boring.

Grefter
Start replacement of string section with deep heavy bass guitar.

Dun, dun, dun, nnnn chukkah chaawwww, Nnnn chukkah chaawwwww. Dun, dun, dun, nnnn chukkah chawwwwwwwww.

Commence Femtrooper poll dance with E-11 blaster fire set to stun, because the entire audience is now thoroughly captivated.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail?blogid=3&entry_id=8393 For any culture junky who has been living under a rock for a bit.

Nirvana: 3
Imperial March: 14
CTHULHU: 12
Mountain King: 8
Dream Theater: 5
WTPOOFAM: 7
Deftones: 1
The Doors: 5
Smurfs: 5
Radiohead: 10