Pirates Ahoy! Battle of the job systems.
~Coldfire

It was another scorcher in Dorter Trade City. It was even hotter in the tavern, thanks to the oven in the kitchen. Rad was slumped back in his chair, feet on the table, and annoyed. "Maaaaan, why does the boss gotta keep sending us out on these two-bit missions?"

Lavian, nonplussed, knocked back the rest of her shot of milk. "What, you'd actually rather be fighting demons?"

"All I'm asking for is equitable distribution of the workload. Those fancy-shmancy new knight friends of Ramza's never seem to deign to do this crap work. What, math competitions above them?" Rad paused sulkily, failing to get a reply. "The least he could do was, you know, come back on time to pick us up. Gafgarion was pretty punctual, actually, and when he went off for those long meetings at Lionel Castle, he usually let Ramza and me go wherever we wanted, rather than tie us down in one city. Dang, I just want to do something, and something better than 'find the source of the moaning in the drafty mansion.'"

Lavian ignored him, and went back to reading an old issue of the Dorter Enquirer, its dated headline blaring with the ridiculous news of a second meteor sighting, this time to the west of Igros.

------------

An hour or so later, Alicia strode in, clutching a poster. "Hey! Check this out!"

Pirates at sea!

Three mighty pirates have recently been spotted in the waters near Gariland Magic City. Their ship apparently uses steam to move. Bring them to justice for 100,000 gil.

The captain has two lackeys, a pink-haired girl and a male whose only outstanding feature seems to be how perfectly average he is. The pink-haired one has a near-suicidal affinity for animals, and has already 'liberated' the chocobos of one coastal ranch.

The purple-haired leader allegedly boasted that they have 'mastered' every 'class.' She has also been quoted as saying that her level is 'prime.' They are armed with multiple weapons of seemingly legendary power. Approach with extreme caution.


Rad was delighted. "Hey, WE'VE mastered all the classes. That's at least something from doing all these tinpot jobs. Bring them on! It's finally something to do."

Lavian was less enthused. "I don't know about this. Ramza's not back yet. We should really wait and see if he actually wants to assign this one."

"We'll leave a message. Besides, it's been near two weeks since he went back to that damn Monastery - it's right next door. If he wanted to visit, he could have. He's probably forgotten all about us."

"I'm still not impressed. What is it that they actually did, anyway? I didn't hear any instances of actual, er, piracy. Maybe they're just looking for a lost chocobo or friend or something."

Alicia responded in her usual infuriatingly cheerful style. "Well, apparently the purple-haired one says 'ahoy' and 'shiver me timbers' a lot. That's good enough for me!"

Rad was already packing up the equipment. "Well, it's decided then. At least we'll have an excuse to dig out that Chaos Blade we have lying around."

Lavian shook her head slowly. "I don't have a good feeling..."
  • The FFT generics triumph, proving you don't need to shatter crystals if you want to switch jobs
  • Bartz, Faris, and Lenna easily slay the imitators

SnowFire
Lavian, diligent as ever, was doing last-minute equipment checks. "Dictionaries ready? Thief Hats on? Speeches prepared? Finger guards set?"

"I still stand by my earlier objections. This strategy is ridiculous." Rad nervously tugged at his over-long robe. "Why can't we just go in there swinging big swords?"

Lavian sighed. "We've been over this already. They won't see this one coming. Trust me, it's the best chance we've got."

Alicia suddenly put the ship's telescope down. "There they are! I'm sure this'll all turn out okay!"

------

From the crow's nest, Bartz yelled "Cap'n! We're being boarded! Looks like... three battle-debaters off the port astern! To arms!" Lenna was first to arrive as the invaders boarded the steamship. Lavian unleashed her first volley. "Would you be at all interested in joining our fine band of entrepreneurs? We can guarantee you a substantial sum of the 100,000 gil currently on your heads if you pretend to be captured and reformed."

"You think you can buy me with money? I'm a princess!" Lenna then did a performance that would have shamed Ivalice's summoners, insta-calling Bahamut- twice in a row! Luckily, the net result was akin to a stiff breeze on the faithless mercenaries, because it was obviously just an optical illusion created by seagulls, or something (??).

Rad gulped, and decided to hit Faris with the best line he had. "Join us or... or I've got Daravon's Annals of the Lion War, Volume IV* right here, and I know how to use it!"

Faris didn't even bother to respond, and with a look of disgust, unleashed an amazing 8-hit combo with the Holy Spear and the Masamune, somehow managing to make the katana / spear style not look ridiculous.

A bloody Rad was already in the mood for recriminations. "I told you this wouldn't work. Izlude didn't want to be invited either. Mediators suck."

Lavian was furious, and also wounded. "It was you who was so gung-ho at doing this at all. We took a gamble, and sometimes gambles... wait. Where's-"

"Ha! Now we shall- Bartz, what are you doing?!" Faris's triumphant taunt was cut short. The four turned and saw Alicia giggling and chatting with Bartz.

"Apparently they're on an adventure, or a quest, or something! Anyway, it sounds good to me. I like traveling. Why not go along with them and explore?"

"Wha-whaaat?" Faris gasped, nearly impaling herself on her spear.

Lavian recovered as best she could, and turned back to Lenna. "You do realize, ah, my liege, that the money I mentioned we can use for... animals... food? As in, food for animals. And maybe an anti-poaching education campaign? I've definitely always loved animals. Heck, we even saved a chocobo called Boco back in the Araguay Woods..."

"You DID? Oh, wow! So that's where Boco ran off to. You have to take us to find him again! Great!"

"Is it even the same one?" whispered Rad.

"Just shut up. Don't mess this up."

Faris recovered as best she could. "All right, fine, traitors, but just so you know, I'm going to consider this as you agreeing to join my crew."



* Yes, it won't come out for several centuries yet, but it's a special preprint.

Generics: 35
Bartz: 46

Silverlocke980
Please.

Farris used to *run* a pirate ship. She immediately uses her "captain" voice and commands the weaker pirates to murder their leader, then commit suicide in a horrific, bloody manner.

All Bartz and Lenna had to say afterwards was "now we know why Farris was captain... and why you shouldn't combine sails, swords, and Dragoon-powered jumps.

Xan
The Battle between Faris and Co. and the generics didn't last long. In the face of THE UBER MIMES OF BAHAMUT SPITTING DOOM, the generics gave up the ghost. Saddening really. It was such a pointless fight, and Faris has offered Ramza to replace them.

sailorstarhealer@hotmail.com
Let's see the heros of Final Fantasy V versus the generics of Final Fantasy Tactics. Can anyone else say slaughter? The tactics guys have no chance against them.

Lurking Registered User
First came the swarm of dragons. Rad had used his Mediator skills to invite a host of random monsters to join the party on the trip over.

But that was just a distraction from the teleporting thieves, who simply divested the pirates of all their booty. Hitting the thieves with swords just caused them to reraise thanks to Chantage, and status attacks failed due to their Ribbons. (The unfortunately male Rad conveniently found a nice place to hide for this part.) And for all their power, Faris' crew had no way to target their opponents' equipment in retaliation.

Then, divested of Ribbons, Faris' crew proceeded to eat stat breaks from a knight-skilled Alicia, Silence from Lavian, and stone status from the Chaos Blade.