REJECTED!
~Grefter, Consumer of Infants

ALL RIGHT, SO OUR PREVIOUS ALBUM WAS A RAMPANT SUCCESS BY VIRTUE OF BEING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL MORAL, COMMERCIAL AND ARTISTIC PILE OF GARBAGE. THIS PLEASES US. NOW WE HAVE SO MUCH NEGATIVE KARMA THAT THIS ALBUM IS DOOMED TO BE THE BIGGEST ONE EVER CREATED BY ANYONE ANYWHERE. THIS IS ALSO THE PERFECT TIME TO SPIN OUT AN ARTSY ALBUM. TAKE THAT PARADOX PEANUT BUTTER CAT THING!

Here at Eurocorp we like to control large bodies of people easily and simply while keeping our personal selves aloof and away from any harm. To this effect, we would like to inform you of two things. First, this new album contains no subliminal messages at all. Second of all, this announcement is to announce the upcoming announcement of the tour to support the upcoming album. So the following is the list of the tracks to be played on this tour. Also we are submitting a series of demands that will inform you of the setting of the stages during the performances. You will obey.


The setup of the stage will begin before any of the crowd are allowed into the complex. Upon entry the entire hall is filled with strobing lights and a loud high pitched shrieking plays. Then the band comes on and the strobes stop. The shrieking stops. Normal comfortable standard room lighting comes on so that people can see comfortably, no flashing lights whatsoever. Volume is adjusted to an easily audible level so that a calm and regular conversation can be had with people nearby and no hearing damage is sustained. Then the band begins to play.



1. Girls in Media are Only Pretty if They Smile.

2. Money Cannot Buy Happiness, Being Broke Sucks, Life is Not a Monetary Commodity But It Sure Does Help.

3. Men in Media are Pretty if they Smile, So Real Men Show No Emotion, This is Ludicrous.

4. It is Just the Penis. Get. Over. It.

5. The Television You Watch Is Likely Devoid Of Intellectual Content.

Cue the intermission, with a message advising people to go outside and have a walk around. Also to get some dinner, as it is unhealthy to miss the largest meal of the day. There are complimentary sausages in a bun out by the door. Vegetarian options are available as well. Ten minutes after this warning, the lights go out, the strobes commence and the loud shrieking starts back up accompanied by a looping chant of "OLD PEOPLE HAVE SEX AS WELL. INFECTED TOENAILS LOOK DISGUSTING. BABIES DIE. WARS HAPPEN AND PEOPLE ARE DISEMBOWELED, DISMEMBERED AND THINGS HAPPEN TO THEM THAT GENERALLY DISEMBODY THEM. OLD PEOPLE HAVE SEX AS WELL." and so on. Then the band go outside and join the crowd in a casual, social dinner. Upon completion of the dinner the crowd is allowed to leisurely return to the hall with the lights back on, strobes and noises turned off, volume returned to a comfortable level. Then the band comes back on for the final 5 songs.

6. 'd and /10 Are Stupid, Stop it With the Dead Internet Memes. Use Your English Correctly.

7. ARISTOTLE, DESCARTES, DOSTOEVSKY, DURKHEIM, FOUCAULT, KAFKA, ORWELL, PLATO, VOLTAIRE, WAGNER, WEBER.

8. Robots Are Likely To Become the New Slaves.

9. Mathematics and Science. They Are Awesome.

10. No Seriously It is Just the Penis.

The end of the concert is announced. Fifteen minutes later the lights go off and the strobe lights come back on with the shrieking again and another loop of "YOUR PARENTS ARE PROBABLY HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW. GO HOME AND RING THEM AND THEY WILL STOP AND YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT ANY MORE."
  • Who cares, no one pays attention to smiles.
  • $$$
  • Society is not prepared to deal with men having emotions.
  • Seriously, it is just cocks. Half the people in the world have them and they are decidedly lacking in aesthetic qualities but they are functional.
  • Well yeah, but Firefly is a pretty fun show. Death to the soap opera and most of Hollywood though.
  • The horse is dead, stop it.
  • Literature is wordy.
  • Blah blah blah robots.
  • xkcd dot com
  • GET OVER IT ALREADY
  • This album is dull and boring.

SageAcrin
Feathers flew at the taping of this album.

Shigeo, cackling madly, strutted his stuff, with an impressive guitar pecking solo that had everyone claping their hens.

Thursday's drumming was incredible. Flailing like a chicken with it's head cut off, a mad bok-bok-bok sound coming from his drums, his skill egged on the rest of the band.

And Fujin and Zoah's hilarious dancing had everyone cluckling.

These four can truly be called the cocks of the walk, today.

Yes, truly, this was a great success, as a son-

...

Wait, what.

This song's about penises, not cocks?

Oh, god, that's too easy. I quit. #4 wins.

Blah, no challenge at all.

Girls smiling: 0
Money: 4
Men smiling: 8
Penis: 15
TV: 4
Internet memes: 7
Literature: 3
Robot slaves: 9
Math: 10
Penis: 0
Boring!: 6

memnhok@yahoo.com
exp[i*pi]+1=0

Joou Ranbu
xkcd. Is. Sex.

Taishyr
On a relevant XKCD note, "my code's compiling" would be the sort of excuse I'd expect to hear from an impotent programmer.

Sir Alex
Literature is wordy.

Djinn
Bonus makes for an awesome new album! I lol'd at track 6.