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Equity Friends South: More Intelligent than Red Hair and Goggles Combo (If you don't recognize his name, don't worry, that's normal.) Planning his next EVIL scheme, as his original one was thwarted by an adventurous brat who wasn't EVIL and who had red hair, he was at a loss of ideas. Mostly because they weren't EVIL enough. Until he struck upon a golden bullion of a thought... "I got it! My next EVIL idea! I will set up the biggest telemarketing scam ever! Mwahahah! Everyone will be so annoyed that I can easily take over the world with my EVIL ambitions from there!!!" There was EVIL laughter for a good 5 minutes from here on in... but the EVIL laughter was interrupted by an unexpected opponent! "Your days are done, EVIL ruler of..." The voice paused dramatically, followed by a softer voice that seemed to be speaking to something else. "...wait, just what does he rule over again?" "Does it matter? Let's just bust in with our entrances and beat the crap out of him like we always do," followed another, more feminine voice. "Psyduck..." "Anywho...EVILDOER BEWARE! For you have met your match! Team assemble!!" "From the mysterious and secretive land of Brazil, it is, THE SEPTUAGENARIAN NINJA!" Frank yelled as he revealed himself from another very obvious American flag towel that was meant to blend in - but obviously didn't. "In the name of the Tepes, it is I, BALLERINA MASK!" Said a twirling Hilda Valentine as she appeared as a Bat, then transforming instantly into her slim, fabulous state. "Wielder of the sacred light, come forth, Le Stallion Magnifique, for I am...LADY LIGHTBRINGER!" said L'Arachel, coming in from yet ANOTHER illogical (but still breathtaking!) sunset. "And of course, leader of our little band of...uhh..." Zed paused, and checked the script. "Oh, right, HEROES! I am...MONSTER Z!!!!" "PSYDUCK!!!" "Alright, well done everyone!", said Zed to the rest of his crew... "Wait! We're missing one member! Our newest one! Where could he be?" L'Arachel said... "AHAHAHAHA! The right arm of JUSTICE is never late! It always appears when you least expect it! Behold, for I am... THE DEFENDER OF JUSTICE!", shouted Flay, who was standing behind Baal, even though there was absolutely no way he could have snuck behind him without being noticed, appearing spontaneously... and of course, wearing a silly mask. "...well, I guess that answers that. Though, Defender of Justice, for our routine, you think you could time it a little closer to ours?", Ballerina Mask deadpanned. "Justice has many faces! How it chooses to show itself matters not!" Flay responded. "...yeah, I'll buy that logic." "Psyduck..." "STOP IGNORING ME YOU SIMPLETONS! Do you not know who stand before? I am the EVIL!!! Baal!" Baal shouted, with a big EVIL explosion behind him. This was followed by what appeared to be a tumbleweed blow across the floor. "So... uhh... yeah, you have an EVIL plan, right?", Zed said. "Of course I do! It is the most EVIL plan ever!" "And what might that EVIL plan be?", the heroic princess asked. "HA! The power of Telemarketing will be used to my advantage! With the power of the phone system on my side, NOTHING SHALL STOP ME!" "Truly, that is an EVIL deed, and it must be stopped! I cannot stand for such actions!", Frank said, making a pose that is best not described. "Using means of communication to do your evil doing? The power of JUSTICE shall strike you down, or I am not the DEFENDER OF JUSTICE!!!", Flay stated. "...yeah, what those two guys said. Besides, there's one last thing we haven't told you!" Monster Z said to Baal. "And what EVIL thing might that be!?" In unison they all shouted "We are...EQUITY FRIENDS SOUTH!!!!" followed immediately by a "PSYDUCK!!!" --- At the Al Revis Academy, a certain young white-haired alchemist was met by a scantily dressed girl and a robot. "So wait, you guys are part of a super hero organization?" Vayne said, somewhat shocked. "BLEEP BLEEP BLIP BLEEP. THAT IS CORRECT." "And you've been selected to become an honorary member of our second branch!" responded Jennifer. "...this isn't something I take much pride in, and... how did you guys know about me anyway?" "BLEEP BLOOP DEFENDER OF JUSTICE. BLIP." "...I see..." Vayne said, looking towards his shoulder, holding his arm, in his usual embarassed stance. Sighing, he knew there was no real point in declining the offer, as Flay would find some other way to make him join. "I suppose it beats being an actual member..." --- Will the Equity Friends South stop the EVIL plan concocted by Baal? Will Baal's most nefarious of all deeds help him take over the world? Will Flay ever agree to get the routine right for the sake of justice? And just what does being an "Honorary' member of these outstanding heroes mean anyway? Tune in next time for... EQUITY FRIENDS SOUTH!!!! |
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superaielman Man. Baal is an inept as evil gets, except in one area. One truly vile area, that even makes the best heroes run screaming. When he introduced his Baal buster attack, every single member of the SQF ran screaming for one reason or the other. THe punnery was so foul that the DLverse gods actually took note and gave Baal exactly what he deserve for shattering the minds of so many defenders of justice. .... Of COURSE it was a massive cash bonus. What else would you expect from the same people who put someone like Edge in a position of power? Equity Friends South: 5 Baal: 12 Flay and Vayne: 9 Super Equity Friends: 5 |