What's in a Name?
The Suikoden 3 characters fight to be stars of Destiny

~Sir Alex

It was all Leo's fault, really. Fresh from his - er, Mystere's - triumph over Alkaiser, the White Knight set out to make the world right again with a bit of a swagger in his step, and a bit of a lack in his judgement.

"I shall set my sights higher for justice!" the knight proclaimed, to nobody in particular. "The whole of the Duelling League, nay, even the universe of RPGdom, shall be protected by Myste-"

At this point, Leo stopped cold, for he had caught a glimpse of a certain armored figure down the street...

"It's against the law to steal!" Chris Lightfellow chided angrily, as the young thief she'd caught smirked. "And just plain wrong to whisper that sort of thing in a lady's ear - not to mention doing both at the same time. Why, if we weren't in town, I would..." She shook her head. "Oh, just get out of my sight." As the knight stalked off, Leo began whispering dramatically to himself.

"Oh, Lady Lightfellow, light of my life! What I wouldn't give to win thy heart! But mine own doth falter when I try to speak to thee!" He continued to pour out platitudes for a time, oblivious to the approach of Chris's assailant, until Edge Eblan's voice whispered in his ear.

"You know," the ninja crooned, "There IS a way we could get into her forces. Have you taken a look at the Stars of Destiny listing lately? There are a lot of... expendable soldiers in there, with common names...

And so it came to pass that in a dark alley one night after the Fire Bringers Ball, Rico, Sarah, Nash, Leo, Lulu, Gau, Samus, and Edge were all walking home together thanks to an interesting combination of escort assignments, when they were brutally jumped by their counterparts in name, with intent to take their places in the next Suikoden game, win Chris Lightfellow's heart, and gain fame and fortune.

Meanwhile, a strange karmic bug opened a portal in front of a certain Hunter-class gunship as it was escaping the destruction of planet Zebes, and the main screen suddenly showed its occupant a crazy fight taking place on the ground below. Good? Bad? There's bounties to be had...
  • Edge and co become Stars of Destiny
  • The Fire Bringers' training pays off as they defend their honor
  • Samus Aran captures all of them

metroid composite
You know, the Screw Attack kills all but five enemies in Super Metroid instantly, and those five it can not kill, so it's safe to assume that it acts like instant death. Samus is also essentially invincible while Screw Attack/Space Jumping, so that kills everyone but Sarah, Gau, and possibly Rico.

For the three remaining scraps, remember that Samus has unavoidable massive multitarget through Power Bombs, which she can also use to simultaneously fully heal herself through the Crystal Flash technique. She also has massive damage through Hyper Beam should she need it for some reason, and the ability to travel through time using a glitch beam....

The moral of this story is: learn from the Mother Brain's mistakes; don't get Samus involved!

Usurpers: 9
Stars of Destiny: 7
Samus: 11

Tylor H
Nobody ever noticed the small orange ball sitting off to the side of the brawl. And, having waited until both sides were sufficiently weakened, nobody was in a state to notice after Samus had rolled into the middle of the fight and unleashed a couple of Power Bombs either.

Kanos
And Samus Aran is the greatest bounty-hunter in the galaxy. Of course she's going to beat the crap out of everyone she's up against.