Rain Man

~Pipe Dreamer

Putting your kingdom in the middle of a huge desert has its advantages; King Edgar should know. It certainly has the neat perk of driving away insane Imperial Generals who have dropped in for a visit. Unfortunately, reality has finally caught up to the desert kingdom. Faced with its worst drought in centuries, Figaro is in the middle of a massive agricultural crisis.

With crop prices soaring, Edgar put out a reward for a way to solve the climate problems. Four teams came up with plans. Sadly, all had obvious ups and downs.

Prince Mallow of Nimbus Land is always glad to help a fellow monarch. Planning to put his rain-calling talents to work, he has also enlisted the help of famed Geohound Ryudo. Ryudo's job is to crack sarcastic and insulting remarks at the pudgy prince until the latter starts crying. This should bring a torrential downfall in the immediate area. While this plan is mostly foolproof, Mallow must watch out for sudden and senseless character transformations that may hit his partner out of the blue.

Also entering is Mother Brain, of Phantasy Star II infamy. Her complex and elaborate plan involves a convoluted computer system across the entire kingdom of Figaro, achieving complete climate control. Her method has already been proven to work on a much larger scale, turning a barren desert planet into a green, fertile world. Of course, it also turned said planet into a nightmarish dystopia straight out of Orwell, but you win some and you lose some.

Mog the slam-dancing Moogle has perhaps the strangest idea of all. He plans to dance his Water Rondo dance all through the desert kingdom, turning the desert background into an underwater one. It's easy to point out the problems - for one thing, signs general indicate that the background will return to normal once the battle is over. But Mog is determined to prove that Moogles are good for more than looking cute, and there's no telling with the mysterious power of his dances.

And finally, renowned scientist Lucca Ashtear seeks to duplicate the success she and her friends had with salvaging Fiona's Forest. Accompanied by Robo, she will time-travel into Figaro's past and employ her android buddy's help to reforest the desert over the period of centuries. The time-travelling pair has done this once before, but will the Epoch be able to take them to the past of another land?

Each team is given one small portion of the kingdom to test with, and their goal is to turn out the biggest harvest after one growing season. Which will be the one to usher in Figaro's Green Revolution?

  • Mallow and Ryudo make Figaro's farmers weep with joy
  • Mother Brain finds herself an adoptive child
  • Mog moves a step closer to world domination
  • Lucca and Robo give King Edgar a forest for the ages


Veryslightlymad
Lucca/Robo on the Bonus. Unfortunately, this means that Kefka Successfully burns down Figaro and kills Edgar in the process.
Unfortunately, without Edgar, none of the other characters join the party, the Returners fizzle and die, and The Empire gets no resistance in the first half of the game. Relm and Strago die in the fire at Thamasa. Shadow, still being a merc, is still hired on by the Empire, and still gets screwed by them. He later dies trying to give the Emperor a final Fork-in-the-eye. (More on this later)

The world gets destroyed, and Shadow sacrifices himself in a last ditch effort to stop Kefka. Mog goes where all the other moogles went, which may well be hell, I don't really know. Setzer becomes a drunken wreck.

Locke and Terra escape the initial fire against Figaro, and Locke convinces Terra to join the Returners. They never meet Sabin. Terra and Banon head back to Narshe for their support. Locke still rescues Celes from South Figaro, but all are overwhelmed by the Empire's forces. Locke and Celes escape, but Banon is killed. Terra goes berserk, and routs the enemy forces on her own, but later flees to Zozo.

Unable to leave the continent, Locke and Celes are hopeless to find Terra before the Empire, and she is re-enslaved by Kefka, becoming his Ultimate Weapon. Unfortunately for Kefka, he attempts his coup too early, with his newfound Confidence, and Gestahl successfully eliminates him, seizing control of Terra for himself. He gains the powers of the statues, but the world is not destroyed in the process. Gestahl sits as a godlike Emperor of the entire planet, crushing all other nations beneath his heel, and using Terra as an enforcer for his mighty, global rule.

Disgusted with the state off affairs of the world, Cyan, who had been harrying Empire forces for many months after they killed his family, has yet to be captured by the Empire, though he was muted by a stray shot to his throat in a previous conflict, and survived only by finding an emergency elixir in a clock.

A powerful Bear of a Man emerges from the mountains, and claims Soveriegnty over Figaro. He, and the South Figaroan Refugees covertly seek out the Silent Hero Cyan. Locke and Celes hear of these small skirmishes, but Celes becomes emotional, and becomes an underconfident wreck. Locke does what he can to bring her back to her top form, and has some success, but he is unable to reach the Figaroan resistance, though he secretly hopes to someday be a part of it.

Lucca and Robo are captured, and Robo is deproggrammed into a hollow shell, and rebuilt into Terra, merging the two into a Cyborg of Immense Power; second only to Gestahl, the godlike figure powered by the Goddess Statues. The Epoch is retained by Gestahl as his ultimate Backup Escape plan. He rules the planet from his floating continent, while his Cyborg enforces his laws from his planet's capital of Vector. Before she is executed, Lucca escapes from captivity, and tracks down the one man that can undo her mistake.

All the world relies on Cyan. The Hero of no words, who had his family slain by the empire, and has sought revenge for over a year. With Lucca's explaination that the world wasn't supposed to be like this, that there was another, better world, Cyan must seek out the figures of legend, in a last-ditch attempt to defeat Terra and Gestahl, and retreat to the past to repair his planet. But he'll need all the help he can get.

~A lost King, desperately rebelling against the tyranny alongside the refugees of his destroyed nation~
~A thief of great compassion, and the ex-general of the Empire that he protects~
~A boy, alone on the veldt, who is said to harness the power of all the beasts of the land.~
Perhaps with his help, Cyan can enlist the legendary Sasquatch. Could one beast perhaps tame another?
~A dissillusioned Magitech Engineer, terrified of rebelling against the emperor, but perhaps the only man with the knowledge needed to destroy the monstrous Terra.~

...A single stone rolled down a hill will create a colossal snowball. It is impossible to stop the snowball from rolling, when you're on the bottom. But maybe, there's a way to stop the stone from being thrown.

FINAL FANTASY VI-2: CHRONO COLLAPSE ~~~Available February, 2006


Mallow: 7
Mother Brain: 2
Mog: 3
Lucca: 22

roma_the_master@yahoo.com
Time travel worked before. And it'll work again, so long as nobody screws up and kills someone in the past, causing some fucked up paradox.

Grefter
For all that I am for seeing the kingdom of Figaro that 2 + 2 equals whatever the party wants it to be; but Mother Brain's method takes to damned long and breaks down after a time.

Ryudo is bound to break down crying for brother or fall in love with Mallow and become unable to pay him out for long enough.

Mog's plan is actually rather solid, the general distaste many people have for token cute and fluffy creatures almost guarantees that given a large enough population the battle will never end (ooh I can just imagine the blissful endless pounding of moogle skulls). However Mog is just one moogle and cannot move on without the rest of his party finishing the battle. So this plan is a no go zone. Maybe Edgar can use this plan for a swimming pool instead.

You know what? You just can't beat time travel. Now we all know that Lucca is the dominatrix in charge of the Lucca x Robo relationship, so Robo is guaranteed to go ahead with the plan lest he no longer be Mistress Lucca's "bitch". Lucca has all the time in the world to sort out any kinks in her plan anyway, not to mention bonus time to cheat. Even if the Epoch doesn't work in the world of FF6 she can still pull a Bill and Ted and work out how to get time travel working there after the competition. Hell, chances are she sets up the desert and the kingdom after the competition.