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Dario (Chrono Cross) |
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Finally, after so many seasons of mockery, failure and defeat, Dario has won a Godlike match! This must truly be a sign of Fortune, the Gods, and the Powers that Be smiling upon him again, as karma has finaly swung his way! And look, his next opponent is Yuri! A well known dueller that transforms into demons - surely, his innate element is black! This means Yuri's spells are all of the darkest color, which means all his attacks will trigger Dario's powerful healing! Meanwhile, the powerful blows he shall inflict using the Masamune will only trigger screams from the Harmonixer. Victory, how long has this Deva longed for your sweetness. |
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Yuri Volte Hyuga, Godslayer. Immortals tremble at his very grasp, and the universe quails at the mere thought of him gearing up for yet another battle. He places his limitless skills against.. a god? Nope. A hero? Nope. A simple, boring, posessed Dragoon. What a childish joke. Everything Dario does doesn't phase Yuri in the least - darkness elemental damage gets resisted, and it's even physical, making it all the more laughable. On top of that, Dario can easily be locked into his worthless counters by any of Yuri's countless elemental attacks.. or he can just stop playing with the scrub and wipe him out with a couple of uses of For the Children. |
SageAcrin "Damnit, wake up, you stupid dragon." Edge said, smacking the softly snoring Infinity Dragon. "Come on!" [You realize that you are smacking what may be the most powerful being in the League at this moment, don't you?] Mewtwo said, staring at Edge. "So!? He's asleep. He can't hurt me while asleep!" He said, hauling off and backhanding Fou-Lu across the face. [...you have not thought that through.] "What do you me-...AAAH!" Edge said, jumping back just before Fou-Lu woke up. "Do not worry. I will not kill you. Just now." Fou-Lu said. "However, we needest to reach Zidane now. I hope my powers are enough..." --- "AAALLLGHL-hey, he stopped choking me?" Zidane said, quickly rolling out of Ryu's grasp, as he hit the ground. Ryu lay on the ground, still evidently choking something. "Wow. Didn't think he'd ever do that. You know, I think I'd be insane by this point from all that pain, if my mind wasn't so awesomely resiliant and powerful. I wish these spiders would stop crawling on me, though." Zidane said irritably, brushing at his bare skin. "...Actually, he's choking Dario." Yuri said, watching Ryu crush Dario's ribcage. "Well, among things. So! Zidane! You just saved me some trouble. For once. I don't believe it. Let's go get a drink or some-wait, what is that weird light?" "Oh, that? I dunno. Why?" "Well..." Yuri said, backing slowly away from Zidane. "Huh?" He added, staring up at the opening Ryu and Dario were under. As several thousand incredibly overpowered monsters poured through the opening. "...Zidane." "Yeah?" Zidane answered Yuri, as Yuri stared blankly at the massive flood of monsters, who near-instantly vaporised Dario. "...I...you know what? Hey guys!" Yuri said, easily hefting Zidane. "Catch!" He finished, lobbing Zidane into the crowd of monsters and running out of the arena. Only to slam into Edge. "...you're running the wrong way, Edge." "No, wait! Fou-Lu here's going to stop him." "That's good, we don't have to do anything.-wait, since when are you brave?" "Well, I had some of that Gyshal-" "Oh, god, I thought you were keeping away from that stuff." Yuri said, shaking his head. "Look, let the nice god fight the monster flood from hell, okay? We don't need to be in this." [If I may interject, Fou-Lu is here to stop Zidane.] Mewtwo said. "Stop him? He's sto-" Yuri said, cutting off as Zidane landed at his feet. Unharmed. "Damnit! Now there's giant earthworms eating my feet. If I wasn't such an awesome Level 42 Thief/Mage/Earthworm Slaying Badass Of Doom, this might be a problem!" Zidane said, happily stabbing his feet with Ultima Weapon. Well, unharmed physically. "...I still don't see much there that needs to be stopped." [How about stopping him from creating and attracting hordes of monsters?] "Nah, I can just do this." Yuri said, tossing him back into the raving horde of creatures. "Really, it's fine, I could do this all day." "You fool!" Althena called out from behind Yuri. "If he isn't stop, his luck will get worse!" "Indeed. The seal is only broken. There are remnates of it holding back the true power of Zidane's horrible luck, ones that will disapate with time." Fou-Lu said. "His luck hath leveled half this arena already. The source must be removed." "...wait, so what? His luck will get so bad that the planet will randomly blow up?" Yuri said. A massive earthquake shook the arena. "...but...this planet doesn't have any magma in it." Althena said, staring at the ground. [...well, it didn't before Zidane's luck became this bad, at any rate...] Mewtwo "said" worriedly. "So just kill Zidane? Got it." Yuri said, cracking his knuckles...then pausing. "Wait, if that can't kill Zidane..." "Exactly. I must use my full power." Fou-Lu said, tranforming into Infini. "Now, feel the true power of the Yorae Dragon!" Fou-Lu said, blasting the crowd of monsters-presumably with Zidane in the middle-with a massive Dark Wave. When the smoke cleared, Ryu was laying still, finally defeated by a dragon-based attack, along with most of the monsters. "Mooooooommmy, the purple cats are licking my nose again and setting it on fire again! Mommy Odin make it stop! Pweese?" Zidane babbled. "...he lived through that!?" Edge said, stunned. "You fools! You're going about it all wrong!" Lezard called out. "You have to do the one thing he desired when he grabbed the Stone and swallowed it! That is the only way to calm it long enough to be sealed again!" "...What, so we throw some women at him? That seems like a pretty safe bet, really." Edge asked. "No! You have to find some way to turn him pink!" Lezard yelled. "The Stone is within him, and he wanted it pink!" "...Edge..." Yuri said, turning to Edge. "...Did you split that bottle with him?" "No, I only had one glass and gave the rest to Fou-Lu." "...so you drank the whole thing yourself, got it." Yuri said, nodding. "You...wait, Stone? How do you know so much about this?" "That doesn't matter! Just turn him pink!" Lezard said, fleeing the arena. "And quickly! It's due for another flare!" "...flare?" Yuri and Edge said simultaniously. --- "Omniflare?" Cloud said doubtfully. "That is a horrible name." "Well, it makes sense, doesn't it? Best Bahamut Materia, best Flare." Yuffie said. "I don't know how the heck they refined Bahamut Zero into Bahamut Omega, but I swiped the Materia, and that's that. Want to see it? It's pretty cool." Yuffie said happily. "I nuked all the guards with it on the way out." "...Sure, why not." Cloud said, leaning back, as Yuffie used the Materia. To no effect. "...Your Materia's broken." "What? It was working before, darn it. Oh well." Yuffie said. "Well, it could be worse, I could have paid something for it." --- "Look! It's another giant rambo porcupine cucumber filled with love and joy! Mommy Odin will be so happy with it's giant shiny nostrils of hope!" Zidane said, pointing up at the massive eight-winged Bahamut, the darkening aura filling him and blackening his skin to pitch. "...why do I have the feeling that thing's going to annihilate the planet when it breathes." Yuri said, staring up. "Oh, right, the world it's from, silly me. Needless to say, Zidane will be the only thing that lives through the total annihiliation, of course. I never thought I'd live to say that." "Quickly!" Althena called out. "How do we color Zidane pink?" "Um, hello?" Relm said, jumping down into the arena. "I think I can do that. If you can keep me from getting killed on the way." "Then do it, quickly!" Fou-Lu yelled, striking at Bahamut. Relm dashed forward and quickly slapped a layer of pink on Zidane. Bahamut stared for a moment at the crowd. Then disappeared. Yuri, Edge, Mewtwo and Althena spent a moment staring thoughtfully at Zidane, now passed out on the floor. "...did any of you three ever think you would see the day that Relm would save the world pretty much by herself?" Edge asked. "...No." "Uh-uh, no way." [Heheheh....ahahahahahahah! I think very few things have made me laugh this hard!] "...either he just went nuts or cats have a bad sense of humor." Yuri said, staring at the bent-over-double Mewtwo. "Oh, no, that's just the catnip." Relm said, tossing the bag at Mewtwo, who promptly started purring and rolling around on the ground. "I like cats, so I keep some around." She added, sitting on the ground to rub Mewtwo's soft belly. "...This has been an interesting day." Edge observed. "Die, you foul fiend!" A voice called from behind them. And Zidane was launched skyward by Holy Explosion. "Hmph. I had heard about Zidane and the trouble he'd caused, and I evidently came just in time to take care of him." Orlandu said, sheathing his sword and walking off. "...Um...but..." Althena sputtered. "He...he was...um...done." "I know. He still deserved it." Orlandu called out over his shoulder. --- "...Mmmmmm, the feel of the wind in my hair...wait...why am I flying." Zidane puzzled. "Hum. I'm also pink." He said, glancing at himself. "Pink's nice, though." He said, staring up. At a hurtling comet. Coloring him pink had only sealed off his deleterious effects to other people-and Lezard was currently working on sealing off the Stone at the time of Zidane's flight. Needless to say, Zidane had been flying a long time. The Stone still didn't think he was done. "...oh god, oh god...oh god! If any gods ever, anywhere can hear me, please, save me! Even dark ones, even Cthulhu ones, even Hello Kitty! I'll do anything, I'll stop being a pervert, I'll save the whales or something, just save me!" Zidane screamed. --- Luna, humming softly and doing dishes, heard the call. She giggled softly. "Oh, hell no." She said, going back to humming. --- Zidane was found, eventually. Well, pieces of Zidane. And, oddly enough, according to Lezard Valeth, the remaining Zidane lacked the swallowed Philosopher's Stone. Unfortunately, being in contact with it that long still means Zidane will have terrible luck forever. And ever. And ever. And ever. And no one in existance is powerful enough to stop this. But hey, at least he got revived. Eventually. He didn't even have amnesia this time. He just had the abiding belief that he is, in fact, Batman. No one has the heart to try arguing with him after all he's been through. Fou-Lu defused with Ryu, claiming he just didn't like having someone that quiet inside his head all the time. Ryu, naturally, went home and slept for twenty hours. He had a terrible hangover, naturally. As for the Philosopher's Stone? No one knows where it went. But now, from here on out, at least everyone will know what's responsible when someone who deserves to win loses, or who when those who should lose win. Even if it doesn't remotely deserve it. And in the end, the kind of piece of mind that gives people may be worth it. Well, until the giant firebreathing Dezolisian Penguin/Rabite/Imp hybrids storm out of the the ocean the stone fell into, the leader fuses with Rinoa(To Adel's great anger.) and Shana(To Melbu Frahma's great anger. It promptly ate both.), attempts to conquer the Duelling League, and is ultimately thwarted by getting too obsessed with watching Evangelion to really do anything until it is defeated. But that's a story for another time. Hopefully, that time will be never, but you never know! Dario: 15 Lurking Registered User
Dunefar
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