Season 32, Week 3
Patriarch Sergius XVII
(Xenosaga: Jenseits von Gut und Bose)
 
Sergius will be using all of his holy evil-smiting powers to defeat this diabolical creature named Chaos, and if any holy man can do it, it's the Space Pope! As it did against Ultros, the Patriarch's Quick ether will allow him to speedily overwhelm his foe, preventing Curaga from being of any use. Perhaps most effective against Chaos, however, will be the Space Pope's Curse of Gartes - even the embodiment of chaos is vulnerable to the curse, causing Chaos to receive all pain he causes to the Space Pope. With a splash of the Space Pope's divine Rite of Initiation, not even the chaotic creature Chaos can stand up to the holy assault of the Patriarch.

V

S

Chaos isn't into the whole religion thing, admittedly. While the space pope's general evil deeds may rival that of even his time traveling self, the whole spieling to the masses bit bores him to tears. He much prefers a short speech, then a massive, destructive rain of terror upon everyone in his way. Talk is simply a distraction for the weak to try and hide their pathetic selves. Thus, inferior beings like Sergius should make excellent target practice for Chaos. Haste gives Chaos's physical a dreadful amount of power that's hard to match in the DL proper; just the thing to shred a frail old blowhard like the Patriarch in a classical slugfest that can have only one result.


SageAcrin
Sergius...

Sergius...

Wake up, Sergius!

---

"...What do you mean, he was hit so hard he thinks he's a Chrono Cross main?" Amy Sage said dubiously, looking over Sergius' charts.

"Well, it turns out that Chaos was taking out some anger or something. He's always fighting so defensively, and this was a match where he could just hit over and over...he got carried away. We're still not really sure we found all of Sergius' brain or intestines." The attending White Wizard said, looking over Sergius' bandage wrapped form.

"How can you tell, anyways? All he does is lay there..." Amy noted.

"Well, two reasons. One, he attempted to chase down Leena when she passed by in the hall. Secondly, Geshp keeps feeling an urge to beat the hell out of him." "Oh. Well, I know just the thing."

*Four weeks later.*

"What do you mean, I was wandering through dimensions aimlessly? And what are all these stupid things? Elements? Pah." Sergius said, tossing down his various magical elements. "Foolishness. What a stupidly elaborate prank to prevent me from fighting Ultros..." He added, shaking his head.

"Don't worry, no one really expected you to believe it anyways." Amy nodded, satisfied.

Patriarch Sergius XVII: 20
Chaos: 46

IhatethisCPU
The Space-Pope smashes Chaos. And He'll most likely be smashed by Belial next week. All's fair in a holy war.