The RPG Duelling League


Season 51, Week 2
Malik Benedict (Wild Arms 3)			Edgar Roni Figaro (Final Fantasy VI)
Wait, what you thought Malik had given up? Never! Malik will never give up on his dearest, most beloved mother, as this season he once again sets out to try to make her proud in the hunt for the spot of Godlike Champion, and hopefully return her to his loving side in the process. Hey, a delusional deranged madman of a prophet can still dream... right? At least one wish might come true for Malik this season, as his first match appears to one of incredible, uncomparing ease, quite frankly. Welcome to Godlike, Edgar, where below average damage without any alternative tricks as broken as Malik's own just won't cut it, sadly.	V	S	Ladies and gentlemen, royalty has arrived in Godlike. King Edgar graces the highest division with his presence and knowledge, ready to make an impact against the best the Duelling League has to offer. Not that 'best' is a term he would use for Malik, a sad momma-lovin' excuse for a foe. All Malik has is some weak status that won't bother the king in the slightest, and evasion to physicals which does him less than no good against Edgar's unerring tools. His Drill will knock Malik down for the count, and present Figaro's leading monarch with the chance to charm the ladies in Godlike with his grace, power, and skill on the field of battle.

Namagomi "...tell me why we don't just stop the match as he's disqualified?" Orlandu asked, watching Edgar fire a salvo of homing missiles in from an illegally-brought in weapon... ...as they still managed to miss the mother-obsessed Prophet. "Because it's uniquely amusing to see them embarassingly lose after trying to win by cheating," commented Etna. "Few things are as funny as watching these dorks think they can win by breaking the rules. And then getting crushed mercilessly anyway." Orlandu sighed as a dazed Edgar uselessly tried to punch Malik in the face. It was going to be a long fight... Malik Benedict: 31 Edgar Roni Figaro: 19 DragoonJay "Wait, so Malik challenged Edgar to a contest of self-control... and the idiot agreed?" asked Celes. "Yup, but at least he got to choose the form of the match," replied Locke. "Aw, I wanted to see Malik get a chainsaw to the face," pouted Gallows. "Not me! Go Malik, you can beat that good-for-nothing lothario whipper-snapper!" yelled Strago. "Your friend doesn't seem to like Edgar," Jet pointed out. "He's just upset because he thinks that Relm has a crush on Edgar." "And you think she doesn't, Sabin?" "Well, I don't think so. I think she just wants to hear him sing. I don't know why, though. He sings horribly in the shower." Relm perked up. "Shower? I want details, especially if they include measurements. Lots of big measurements." "Figaro! Stop corrupting my granddaughter's mind!" _ "All right, I'm only going to say this once, so sit down and shut up! The two fighters will alternate singing, in an attempt to get the other to attack the other. The first one to attack loses. Any spells, tools, or anything besides your voice and instrumental backup will be treated as a loss. Malik won the coin toss and has elected to go first." Malik: You can't touch this (Oh, oh oh, oh, oh) Stop, Malik Time Every time you see me, the Malik's got the hype You can't hope to hit me, even with a Mythril Knife Now why would I ever stop doing this Mocking puny Heavies, who just can't hit Ol' Edgar is a lech, and the ladies never stay He's rude and crude, his attitude just drives them all away Can't touch this "And a rather weak first offering from Malik, and it falls to the King of Figaro to respond. He has his guitar in hand, so take it away, Edgar." Edgar: I slept with your mother last.. erk! "The low blow for the knockout! Edgar wins! Er, Malik, you can stop choking him now... Any minute now. Yeah."

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