The RPG Duelling League


Season 30, Week 1
Jessica Albert (Dragon Quest 8)			Celes Chere (Final Fantasy VI)
Jessica's arrival into Godlike showcases her game's first entry in the RPGDL proper and is bound to draw some ogling. No, not just because Jessica is the perfect combatant for the aptly named Season XXX, but because her tricks will make her one of the most feared fighters in the DL's highest division. Her opponent, the Magitek General Celes, will be a suitable fight for Jessica's debut match. Celes is best known for her tricky magic spells - including Vanish, Berserk, Muddle, Safe, and Shell - but while Celes may be the forerunner of tricksy spells, Jessica's plethora of tricks is far better. The mighty Bounce spell prevents all of Celes' magic from connecting with the sagely descendant, while Jessica's Accelerate will augment her stellar agility, keeping her running rings around the much slower Celes. In addition, Jessica's Kasnooze will knock Celes out in an instant, giving Jessica extra time to tense up and then unleash a devastating True Dragon Lash that will rip Celes' armor easily. There's not much the general - or any Godlike! - can do against Jessica's tricks.	V	S	In many ways, Celes Chere and Jessica Albert are much alike, and not just because both are attractive young ladies. In a fight, neither relies on a single powerful trick, and their stats are serviceable but not amazing or even impressive. Yet they have both made Godlike on the merits of their extreme versatility. As such, the match between the two won't be an epic display of flashy damage numbers, but instead a miniature chess match as the two pit their various tricks against one another in an intense battle of wits. Jessica will no doubt attempt to use her unfortunately-named Bounce spell to try to stall Celes' offence, but all that does is put a timer on the match, as the moment that spell fades, the Magitek General will be ready to pounce with one of her many deadly status spells. In the meantime, Jessica will have to solve the puzzle of Celes' defenses: Haste, Protect, healing, and the Minerva. All Celes must do is weather this fighter-mage's assault like she has so many capable opponents before, and she will be once again on her way to a string of Godlike victories!

superaielman Jessica and Celes looked around the room uncomfortably. Instead of the usual gallery of annoying (if gentle hearted) perverts, they were faced with Zidane's crew. He was surrounded by Sten, Charmles, and Valygar, and all of them were looking maliciously at the girls. The whole group was ringed by several more women, and some nasty-looking bodyguards. "I'm a little worried, Celes. Where's Edge and Yuri? They may be losers, but they won't openly feel you up or hit on you nonstop. For that matter, there's no one here besides Zidane's perverts." "Take off your clothes!" The ugly chant started first with Sten, and quickly spread to the rest of the group. "Who has the biggest chest, Zidane?" Sten just drooled at the girls, imagining the delights that would soon be his. "Jessica." The slimy thief took no time making his choice. "She wins!" The perverts began enclosing Jess and Celes around the ring. The girls looked towards the judges for help, and only saw a couple of Lights, who were doing their best to ignore the action before they could get caught in it. "Sorry, girls. But Zidane is by all rights the full and final judge of this match. Jessica wins." "The judges are even bought and paid for by Charmles. Damn." Celes coldly eyed the group, and knew that fighting their way out wasn't an option. Neither was stripping and entertaining this group of hoolgans. She leaned in towards Jess, and grabbed her shoulders in a suggestive manner. "Cast Dazzle on the count of three. We're leaving. Something is very wrong here." Inching closer to Jess, she whispered.. "One..." "Two.." "Three!" Jessica turned around and blasted a Dazzle spell at Zidane's posse. At the same time, Celes silently cast Vanish twice, covering both her and her allies. They quickly escaped out of the arena, and headed towards the relative safety of the women's locker room. Celes openly gasped in horror with what she saw. Zidane's group had already gotten through the door in the time it took them to escape the arena. Valygar stood holding the door open, laughing as Zidane came in and out holding a camera and some very indecent clothing. It seemed like nothing could stop the thief. "Whatever's going on, this is beyond both our control and abilities. It's like the very balance of space-time was thrown off somehow." Jess looked worried. "We need help, and fast. Who can do that and won't turn us over to these...people?" Celes's face hardened. "I do know one of one man. He certainly isn't aligned with this filthy band of losers. His very name bespeaks mastery of time. We need him, and we need him now. I don't much care for him, but I don't see how we have any other choice. We're off to see the TimeLord." Jessica Albert: 50 Celes Chere: 49 jaymthegenius@yahoo.com Jessica may be an annoying, aggrivating charicter while watching Dragon Quest VIII's story unfold, but you just can't hate her nonetheless. Sure Celes comes from a time period looking like the late 19th/early 20th century while Jessica hails from what looks like a 17th century civilization, but Celes supposed edge fades when she feels betrayed that Terra has befriended Jessica, so she stole Atma weapon and her armor from Celes, leaving Jessica with quite the edge, she goes on to win. Jessica: "You just can't defeat me,(giggles)" Celes: "arrrrrrr! I just want you to be defeated sooooo bad! I hate you!" We can see where this is going... Silverlocke980 There is one thing Dragon Quest games have that most RPGs shy away from: useful status spells. Where most RPGs make status spells useless wastes of MP (with Breath of Fire II's Death a notable exception), Dragon Quest 8 almost entirely relies on how good your party is at KaSnooze'ing, KaThwack'ing, and KaFuddle'ing your opponents into non-existence. It's a very effective strategy, capable of utterly ruining a powerful enemy party's offence. However, it's not the normal status spells that Jessica is best at. Instead, she wields an... "interesting" attack that involves her cleavage, which completely distracts just about anything even vaguely male in front of her. (As a joke, Sephiroth and Strago set up a magical test to display what would happen if Jessica used her body on Zidane. The fake, magical-construct Zidane stayed distracted for eighteen rounds- bizarre for an attack that only works for one- and then died promptly of a heart attack. Sephiroth and Strago laughed for a week.) However, what Jessica hasn't realized is that Celes is female. Her breasts do not work on those women who both have them and are not attracted to them- Celes included. More importantly, Celes has something Jessica- coming from the outright sexist Dragon Quest games- lacks. Self respect. When Jessica used- as her form of a joke- her body on Celes, Celes went from being disgusted at fighting this trailer-trash princess to being actually angry. As a fully realized, 3-dimensional character from what many still consider the best Final Fantasy, Celes was outraged at this paper-thin, revenge-obsessed harlot- and the moves she used. Ice-3 was hurled, suddenly mixed in with a new skill Celes had suddenly picked up- a variation of Runic that involved magic, her sword, and lots and lots of pain. The spell changed in midair, channeling itself into her sword, flowing with her rage, cages of ice appearing all around the now-scared Jessica. (As a sidenote, Kefka was very, very happy she'd beaten him long before figuring out this attack.) The cages began to spin in the now-weightless arena, with Celes proudly holding up her sword in a pose that showed, quite adamantly, how little her breasts showed in her costume. The cages continued spinning, then converged straight on Jessica, freezing her solid right before Celes slashed them all in half. It pays to be a woman who stands outside sexist views, doesn't it? (Chisato Madison and her friend, "Arty" the elf, eventually figured out how to use this maneuver- with lightning. "Shocker Cage" is set to make a debut against Ultros the instant the two of them can catch the overgrown octopus by himself.) Ralff Nothing can stand up to the might of Jessica's Sexy Beam! NOTHING! danberado I don't see how Jessica could beat Celes. Between Vanish and Runic Jessica wouldn't be able to get a single hit off.

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