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Zed (Wild Arms) |
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It's the sunniest breakfast possible for Zed! After a season of unmatched glory, witty one-liners and puzzling swordplay, the scarf blowing in the wind advances towards its greatest achievement yet! In a clash of Heavy Metal awesomeness, the hero for the ages faces a "fellow" Metal Demon! Meet thy fate, Lady Harken! Garyu Ichimonjigiri will tear the Harbinger's flesh apart, and she will be hard-pressed to keep up with Zed's blinding speed and stunning poses! Even Maximum Risk is no threat! And... well... if all else fails? She just needs to hear Zed's awesome lines to be bowled over. After all, any real lady would be weak in the knees after hearing "No sunny breakfast for you"! It worked against Kyra, right? |
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It has come to this. Lady Harken, Red Quarter Knight, finest of the Metal Demons, again faces one of her own. Not the final opponent she expected, but she will accept the challenge...Not that it will be much of one. Zed may one of the few who can keep up with her in a footrace, but he is sorely outmatched on the damage front, with Maximum Risk far outpacing anything his feeble swordsmanship can serve up. To make matters worse, Harken's masterful control over her blade will leave the purely physical Zed hard-pressed to get past her swift parries. There is a reason Harken was named a Quarter Knight and Zed was not...and the Red Lady intends to paint a bloody illustration of that reason this week! |
Sei "Okay, can you please tell me why we're doing this again?" Indalecio said while massaging his eyes. And it looked like such a good day too... "Well, Nate noticed how Zed an Harken were not only from the same world, but from the same side too." Lenneth began. "So?" "So, since the two knew each other's fighting style inside out and all that, he thought a special match was in order. So he called Death." "...Death?" "Harken uses a scythe, Zed's the Grim Reaper's pen pal, guess it made sense to him. Anyway, Death said, and I quote: I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW THEY GET THOSE LITTLE BITS OF CHOCOLATE IN COOKIES" "You do that voice far too well. And that's why we're now doing... this." "Right. Zed and Harken went and baked batches of their best chocolate chip cookies, and we get the dubious honor of judging them." "And Nate never thought it might be a bad idea to have the stubborn, headstrong tomboy of a female stereotype and the poster child of overly hyper, overly delusional, and overly clumsy clowns everywhere go near a kitchen? He does know those are two of he most classic examples of culinary disasters waiting to happen, right?" Lenneth smiled uneasily "I think he knows, but I don't think he cares. He's not the one doing the tasting after all." "... Right. By the way, weren't there supposed to be three of us?" "Guv fainted the when he caught a whiff of Zed's cookies. I think he accidentally made a potent neurotoxin for mortals. Would you want to try his first?" Indalecio inspected Zed's cookies and felt his stomach turn. A quick glance gave the impression that they were actually edible, perhaps even mouth-watering. Colorful and decorative, it looked like a Christmas tree if they came in cookie form. Of course, a quick glance would miss the greenish brown fumes rising from it. And the way it slowly corroded the tray it sat on. Harken's on the other hand, while boring in appearance, at least looked safe. "Give me one of Harken's." The Wise Man said, taking note of the large impression the cookie left on the tray when it was picked up. --- "... and Harken wins the match. While her cookie crust was rock-like and required a diamond-tipped, adamantine jackhammer to get to the remotely edible part, the core at least tasted like a chocolate chip cookie." Indalecio announced to the video cameras. "Zed, on the other hand, needs to learn that, while tabasco, wasabi, and a whole lot of other spices are very colorful and goes very well with other dishes, that doesn't mean they would also go very well with cookies. Especially all at once. Now, let us never speak of this again." Indalecio finished before he was carried off to the DL healing chambers where his fellow judges were being stomach pumped and/or decontaminated. Zed: 26 |
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