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Albert Simon (Shadow Hearts) |
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How do you do, ladies and gentlemen of Season 36? Allow me to introduce you to Cardinal Albert Simon, a fine upstanding man if ever there was one. He just told me a most amusing anecdote about the time he tried to fuse with an ancient metagod and destroy the world. It gave him all sorts of power, status attacks and defense boosts. A jolly good time was had by all! What's this you say? Marivel Armitage, that young rapscallion of a vampire, seeks to engage him in fisticuffs? Bully! Why, she's nothing but an upgraded Light with a wide variety of weak spells! I'm sure my boy Albert will give her a good thrashing and be back in time for tea and crumpets! |
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How fitting. A former Godlike for the first Heavy match of Marivel. She would have preferred said Godlike not being the oft-mocked punching bag Albert Simon, but there's no sense in kicking a gift horse in the mouth. A quick Lock State will render her immune to the Bacon wannabe's array of status effects, leaving him with !!! as his only working trick. Said trick reducing Marivel's HP to one has the side effect of increasing her FP up the wazoo, letting her access the terrifying powers of the Lucifer and Asgard golems. Add in her multitude of spells to fry his bowler hat with, and Albert will be out for the count long before tea time is over. Pip pip, cheerio, and all that. |
Taishyr "Why is it..." Hiro grumbled as he rested on the judge's table, "...that none of the matches this week are -normal-?" Ness shrugged, doing the walk-the-dog trick with his yoyo. "Like I know. At least this one doesn't have possessed angry chickens." "The young one speaks truth." Lucca says with a chuckle as she watched Albert and Marivel sip tea and chat. "Gah, it's hot enough out here that I'm tempted to put them both to sleep an- wait, what just happened to Marivel?" The Crimson Noble had toppled out of her chair and slapped into the arena floor with a dull thud. Albert had stood up and bowed to the audience, which had pretty much all fallen asleep at this point. Ness was the first to Marivel. "She collapsed, but she's OK otherwise." he says. Albert Simon chuckled. "Of course she collapsed. That was the test!" "Test?" Lucca frowned. "Yes. The test was to see who could act the most proper for the longest amount of time. By fainting, she lost; even if you refuse to acknowledge our contest (and we sent in the papers for this ahead of time) since she is the first to faint in the arena, by common rules I am the victor." "You people are silly. Match to Albert Simon." Hiro said wearily as he carted Marivel away. Lucca was looking through the papers. "...but the form says wet shirt contest." Albert Simon glanced down at his black and white suit with a grin. "Well, it is wet, is it not?" "...touche, Albie. Touche." The two other judges stalked off, leaving Albert Simon to bask. Albert Simon: 46 |
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