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Edge Eblan (Final Fantasy IV) |
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This season's like a karmic nightmare! Seriously, what's with Edge drawing all the violent Suikoden ladies this season? It makes dealing with Ho-oh look easy. But the DL's premier pervert's gotten too far to be stopped by a little bodyguard (even if she's -cuuuuute-. Better than Kasumi!). With his veritable ninja speed and deadly Cat Claws, all he needs to win is to put Lyon to sleep and pepper that silky skin with Fumas! It's a pity that he'll have to ruin that pretty face, though... but that's all in a day's work. As long as he doesn't get blasted by those deadly Twilight Rune spells, Edge the Whirlwind has nothing to fear! |
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The finals at last! The Prince will be impressed with Lyon. In fact, it seems like the finals will even be against the Prince! Well.. a Prince. Actually, not the right Prince at all. Where Freyjadour is kind and on the quiet side, the Prince of Eblan is lecherous and a trash-talker. Good thing the Twilight Rune offers a lesson in manners! With Edge's suspect magic defense, a single Vermillion Sky is surely enough to rend his flesh in pieces. Lyon's pretty speedy herself, but even if Edge gets the jump, Lyon can resist his Sleep attempts most of the time anyway. Edge's womanizing trail ends here! |
superaielman It's not often a Heavy finals match draws more attention than a Godlike final, but it isn't every day that the crown pervert of perversion makes a championship run. The usual carnage and broken bodies lie in his wake. Kaus Debonair fell to the prince's evasion, while Ho-Oh and Kasumi fell to his to status and surprising toughness. Lyon was however no slouch, she had been warned about Edge in advance. --- The first raid took place right before dawn. Katanas and throwing stars were out, armor muffled and magic at the ready. Rokkaku village's army of ninjas were out for blood after Edge's perverse stunt the week before. Edge had taken shelter in a remote base with top secret security and heavy guards, but when had that stopped an army of Ninjas? What Mondo and company hadn't expected to find was a note written on the bed. "To anyone out to kill me: Sorry I'm not home right now. I have to preare for the Heavy finals-...hahahhaa I almost finished that with a straight face. Really, I'm probably either getting to third base with your mom or cherry bombing L'Renouille. That punk Luca deserves it for laughing at me. Later dudes! -Edge PS: Don't take the note with you, there's going to be more than one person out to kill me this week." A quick use of a Blinking rune ascertained that Edge had not in fact gone MILF hunting in at the hidden village of the ninjas. With no other leads, the outraged Ninjas charged to L'Renouille to track down Edge. --- The elegant capital of the Highland kingdom lay ahead. What would Sasuke find? A chance to avenge himself against the man who had so outraged his beloved Kasumi? Mondo had taken the rear and was checking for back attacks, leaving Sasuke at point. The imposing visage of the Highland castle wasn't what first greeted Sasuke's senses, nor was it the sounds of combat. No, it was something rarely mentioned but always present in medieval castles and towns. The stench of raw sewage hit the ninjas, almost like they had ran into a wall. The sound of a deep, animal roar followed hard on the heels of that, along with golden lightning. The ninjas glanced around nervously, they all gone up against the power of the Beast Rune before. A brief flurry of activity occur during that glance. Mondo staggered briefly and fell to the ground, snoring lightly. This was followed by the sound of footsteps from one direction- a single set of rapidly fading footsteps heading to the south, and several heavier sets of footsteps coming from the direction of the castle. Sasuke was the first to recover his wits. He order a pair of scouts forward while he went back to check on Mondo. The veteran ninja was out cold, with a claw mark across his cheek. A note had been pinned there. Sasuke quickly read it. "Oh, you guys. Yeah, I'm a little busy today. You'd think someone as stable and concerned about the welfare of his people as Luca Blight would seal his true rune better. Apparently the Beast Rune takes the souls of rats and other lower life forms, and was also buried right above the main sewer lines for the castle. Huh. Goes to show you never can tell. Anyway, I may have accidently summoned the Beast Rune when I firebombed the entire sewage system. Amazing what happens when you stick a Rage Rune on an Ultima materia bombardment! They hadn't cleaned the thing out since it was built all those hundreds of years back. The streets and nearby lakes may or may not be overflowing with raw sewage after that. Whoops! I had a few spare materia left, so I gave em to the old ninja dude as thanks for dealing with Luca Blight. I'm off to the arena, so I'll see you all there! Later! -Edge. PS: Luca's sister is really hot and had a -fantastic- selection of bras. I left a bunch here for yor Sasuke. You'll need them since you're about to be Luca's bitch." Sasuke looked up from the note with a mix of rage and horror. His forward scouts had returned and brought word that, indeed, the Beast Rune had been summoned and was currently barely being surpressed by the White Wolves and the Highland's home guard (Lead by Culgan and Seed.) The... ah... strong smell and sights had gotten much worse by the castle, with sewage overflowing into the streets and floor of L'Renouille. The footsteps had grown close. An imposing man wearing silver armor slightly tarnished by something unspeakable. A squad of soliders stood behind him silently. "...So you're the pigs who ruined my castle, ruined my rune and outraged my sister "TIME TO DIE, MAGGOTS!" Sasuke sent off a single ninja messenger and prepared to fight for his life. --- Less than a dozen of the Rokkaku ninjas had survived the battle with the mad prince. Sasuke had been the first to fall, split in half by a berserker strike from Luca. Mondo had managed to survive the conflict and in decent enough shape to pursue Edge. The ninjas who survived used a blinking rune to contact home for help and to guard the dead so they could be prepared for revival while Mondo went off to the arena to see what possessed Edge to do such mad stunts and to hopefully at least witness Edge getting his just desserts. To his surprise, getting admission into the arena was easy. There was no unruly mob screaming for blood, nor was there the sounds of a riot. The only sounds was a sultry female voice singing someone happy birthday. Mondo's jaw dropped; he knew that voice. He sprinted past the admission gates and weaved through the crowd. Lyon stood in the ring, in a skimpy black dress and singing a rather seductive and obscene version of "Happy Birthday, Mr Edge." to the prince, who stood in the center of the ring. The oddity wasn't so much the singing, nor the dress, but Edge himself. The prince was into his 20's and known for his close cropped hair. The man who Mondo mistook for Edge was far older, with long hair and a beard. He looked to be at least 90. "Weird, huh?" Mondo looked over his shoulder to see a tall man in a brown coat standing next to him, with a bemused grin on his face. "Mondo, right? I've got some explaining to do. Have a seat before you try and kill Edge." --- Yuri's explaination was one for the ages. Lyon and Edge both knew how well they matched up in a fair fight, and how not well they matched up in.. erm... Edge's extracurricular activites. She had contacted Edge, and proposed a deal. Meet her demands and she would do *anything* he wanted, with *anyone* he wanted. Lose, and he acts like a complete gentlemen towards her and fights a fair fight in the arena. Edge agreed to this in milliseconds. No mere fight or challenge would stop him from fulfilling this! Lyon's requestion was simple. Disband Assassin's gate and rehabilitate the group's members, and get Kasumi to accept his apology for groping her. The plan was brilliant. Assassin's gate members only accept children as members. While Edge's maturity, common sense, will to live, regal dignity, grasp on reality, battle tactics, fashion sense, airship driving skills, and all around ability to not act like a teenager were and are frequently called into question, no one ever can take one look at Edge and think he is a child. Nor can Edge's connections be questioned. A visit to the TimeLord resulted in a spell that temporarily reversed the aging process. (The side effect is that it affected the prince's already tenous maturity, explaining the viciousness and childishness of his attacks on Luca.) It didn't take Edge long to find Assassin's gate. His skills as a ninja helped him gain an interview ith the guild (Along with assassinating a few who questioned his appearance and joining of the guilt at his age. Even at 14, Edge was old to join the guild.). His first mission was to create minor disturbance in Highland and personally annoy Luca Blight, which Edge took as a divine signal to create as much trouble as possible. Assassin's Gate would see results and judge from there. When word got back to the guild about what what Edge had done to the castle and how he had personally stolen the underclothes of Princess Jilia off her body in front of the Luca while asking him to 'put his sister to the test since he already had Luca's mom and she was the best'... Well, the guild not only admitted Edge, but it made him the lifetime president, dictator, and owner of Assassin's Gate. Edge promptly went to Kasumi, assigned the former assassins to Rokkaku and very nicely apologied or groping her. Sadly for Edge, word of what had happened to Sasuke and Rokkaku village's ninja warriors had reached her before that point. Kasumi's response to this was an act of violence of such unbelievable cruelty and strength that she beat at eighty five years of Edge's life out him, leaving him an old man. Kasumi then dragged Edge to the arena and threw him into the middle of the ring. Lyon and Edge came to an agreement. While it was clear that Edge had mostly succeeded in disbanding Assassin's Gate, he hadn't gotten the apology from Kasumi. On the other hand, Edge had saved a small army of children from Assassin's Gate and Lyon was inclined to feel a bit sorry for him. Edge agreed to forfeit the fight if Lyon would sing a birthday song for him, as he had missed more than he cared to think about after the beating. Yuri gulped a beer and put his feet up on a chair as the song wrapped up. The arena emptied out and Edge limped off, presumably towards TimeLord's realm to get the aging reversed. "...Besides,it's for the best. If Edge had somehow won Heavy, he may have upgraded to Godlike. Godlike, the division where the creation of absolute hatred from his home world who Edge helped to destroy doesn't even crack the top ten list of people who want to see Edge killed.... huh?" Mondo had vanished from his perch near Yuri as soon as he put his feet up, choosing to speed off and begin attacking Edge. The sound of steel hitting flesh was cut off suddenly with a *Whomp*. Yuri grinned; he knew the sound of Bahamut hitting tender flesh. "Maybe I should've warned Mondo that Rydia was nearby and feeling protective after Edge did a rare good deed? Naaaaaaaaaah." Edge Eblan: 12 Lezard Valeth
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