Season 24, Week 1
Darksol
(Shining Force)
 
Not only does Darksol reign over the country of Runefaust with his DARK POWERS of mind control, but he also has Demon Breath to enforce his will on the puny mortals he rules with an iron fist. This week he’s fighting the fair Princess of Renais, Eirika. And there is nothing princesses do better than get kidnapped by evil, dark overlords … so it should be even easier than usual to just Demon Breath to death. And if that fails, he can always trick her into submission, much like another evil manipulating villain did to her not long in the past…

V

S

The Princess of Renais is ready to fight once more, and set on proving herself as capable as her brother in the arena. Armed with her own Sacred Twin, the monster-slaying holy sword Sieglinde, Eirika is fully capable of defeating Darksol, a blight upon the world. While he's fully human, and therefore somewhat protected from the full might of Eirika's weapon, that's a pittance of a consolation prize. The divine blade will still tear through the evil sorceror's heart like a chainsaw through plastic, ending his feeble attempt to dominate Heavy in an instant.


Dark Holy Elf
Ahh, Darksol. What a classic evil villain you are.

Darksol knew Eirika's weakness; the young woman was far too naive, too easily moved to pity her enemy. Darksol had only to spread rumours about how weak he was (though he was slightly alarmed by just how WELL these rumours spread...) and plead with Eirika to not fight him. "I'm but a weak old man," he said feebly as their match began. "I have no desire whatsoever to fight; I'm only here because the DL hired a contingent of Ryus to ensure I showed up for my scheduled match. Please, I know you're of a like mind, let's settle this peacefully."

And wouldn't you know it, Eirika lowered her sword. She had no desire to injure an innocent man (even in a world with seemingly limitless healing), and suggested that they settle the match with a coinflip.

Really, Darksol should have taken this offer. It was the best he could have hoped for. But, Darksol is, as was mentioned earlier, a classic evil villain. And the other main hallmark of a classic evil villain, other than hatching despicable, underhanded plans, is just being a plain ol' dumbass.

No, he attacked Eirika. With her guard down, he was not only able to get off a Demon Breath, but he was able to pluck Sieglinde from the young woman's hands, hurling it out of the arena. Having reduced Eirika to her simple Rapier, and having gained a sneak attack, he knew that the match was now one-sided.

Of course, he was right. And to the surprise of approximately... oh, one person present, Eirika promptly made with the lightning-swift flesh-poking, and claimed her first DL victory.

The day wasn't all embarassing failure for Darksol, though. After the match and the attention from the DL clerics, he DID go and beat up on some puppies. Well, one puppy. Who was technically already beaten up from her match with Maria Balthasar. And he did later end up climbing a tree to escape from a pack of ravenous wolves chasing him (or so he claimed; it was, of course, in fact the other four Budehuc dogs). But still! Tricking a heroine, assaulting a cute furry animal... life doesn't get much better for a classic evil villain, does it?

Darksol: 17
Eirika: 34

Tidus Andronicus
Eirika>failure

Darksol: Making scrub sRPG bosses like Riev and O'Neill look good since 1992.