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Strago Magus (Final Fantasy VI) |
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Ehh, what's this? Oh, right, the Duelling League... Old man Strago is back once more, now in his new division in Heavy! His quite powerful Lores have faithfully brought him where he is now, and they certainly won't let him down now. The old man faces a newcomer today, in the form of Alfina. Strago has every trick in the bag. The real question is not who will win, but how Strago will decide to take out poor Alfina. Her status immunity might impede a status game with Sour Mouth, but he can always rely on brute force with good old Grand Train. Or, if he prefers, he can always quickly cast Condemned, and wait out the girl's death with his restorative and defensive buffs in the mighty Pearl Wind and Big Guard. Take it how you will this week, but victory seems assured for the elderly Mage Warrior. If only keeping tabs on Relm was this easy... |
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We can do it if we try! Emelious, Xorn's high priest of emo, won a Godlike championship in his debut, and now it's time for his sickeningly optimistic little sister to prove she's equally dangerous in Heavy! Her first match pits her against an old man, and while DL tradition states that matches between young ladies and old men never end well, Alfina has no reason to be worried. Why? Because her Maiden's Dress protects her against prying eyes... and from all manner of status ailments. With her opponent's Sour Mouth, Condemned, and Dischord attacks all useless, what is he left with? Nothing, besides middling damage and a crippling vulnerability to Stun Force and Armageddon, which Alfina will be sure to display for him. It seems that the good times will continue for the Pamelas in the arena, this season... even if many wish they wouldn't. |
Dhyerwolf “When I was a boy, we had to walk through 3 forbidden caves to get to school” Adray said, slamming down his drink. “When I was a boy, we had to fight 50 monsters to gain a single level! None of this quick leveling or experience boosting malarkey!” Strago yelled. “When I was a boy, we wore tutus just like real men do! Boys today with their “pants!” Humbug!” FuSoYa yelled. “…Tutus?” his drinking partners asked. “I lived on the moon! We were very backwards people! And you’re wearing a skirt right now Adray!” “It’s a kilt! The height of high culture!” “Hic. Say, have you heard that those pansy-waisted elves are coming back out of hiding!” FuSoYa asked. “Elves! Always stepping on my lawn! I cut off their ears to make my shoes,” said their 4th member Haschel, before slipping back into drunken unconsciousness. “It’s true! The Elves are coming out of hiding” Adray said, belching at the same time. Strago flashed back to his youth. Of course, like many old men, his memories sometimes got a mixed up. See, he did in fact try an auto-levelling potion, handy of a traveling elf. But instead of making Strago level up, all it did was make shrill voices ring out in his head for months. He nearly took his own life from the horror. He has since revised his story of the event. His mind snapped back just in time to hear Haschel wake up and give a lecture of the advantage of ogre skin headbands. Charming. Strago was waiting impatiently for his opponent, and the judges were about to call the match in his favor. Suddenly, a shrill voice rang out. “I’m heeeeere.” The voice. The ears. The hideous creature standing in front of him. He was taken back to the worst time of his life just based on the voice alone. Alfina’s teenage mewling has sent many a stronger man packing. Strago took a few months to recover the ordeal. Of course, when he rejoined his drinking buddies, the newest remembered experience they had from their boyhood was not being beaten by girls. It took him a while to live this one down. Strago Magus: 14 |
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