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Borgan (Lunar 2: Eternal Blue) |
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Move over, Mike Myers! The original fat bastard is back and ready to teach the newbies that size does matter. With a great heave-ho, the mighty Borgan can easily match Jecht pound for pound, and that's not even considering Borgan's magical prowess. The Final Aeon's mighty sword will clink before Borgan's impenetrable barrier, while the fat warlock's deadly Gravity Bomb will make short work of the star Blitzball player. And hey, even if all that fails, an extra special bromide will easily turn the womanizing Jecht into a quivering mass of nothing in no time flat. |
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Ah... Jecht. The father of Tidus and, currently, the beast who destroys cities just for giggles. Sounds pretty fun, huh? Well, although he is part of Sin, this Blitzballer can kick some ass in his own right. Although his Stone-inflicting Jecht Beam will be ineffective against this disgusting beast of an opponent, he can still smash the frail warlock really hard with his giant sword. Borgan might resort to scare tactics to win the match, but a mere bromide won't faze Jecht - after all, while a fat, naked old man might be intimidating to many, Jecht has been part of a much nastier monster for years. |
Jo'ou Ranbu Borgan knew he wouldn't be able to win his match merely by using his magic. The big tub of lard was openly mocked in the DL halls for being a weak, frail boss who just looked horrible - and stupid. So, he tried for a different approach against Jecht. When the day of the match came, he entered the arena... wearing a long, detailedly cleaved, provocative dress. Such a dress would set a man's mind on fire... if worn by an attractive woman. Worn by Borgan, it could cause a mass epilleptic seizure capable of shutting down countries. Borgan winked at Jecht. Jecht felt a little sick. "Hey there, handsome. Do you want to share a bathtub with me?" Jecht coughed, trying not to stare at Borgan too much. He needed to do something fast... and he had an idea. "Sorry, man. Not my area. But tell ya what? If you share a bathtub with my son, Tidus, I'll forfeit the match!" Borgan's face suddenly went pale. A sound of breaking glass was heard inside his mind. Borgan started imagining the idea. He did a few faces. He shook his head. And then, he just ran away crying like a little girl. Shortly afterwards, Borgan was gutted open by the RPGDL Decency Enforcing Squad, composed by such greats as Lenneth Valkyrie and Lamington. Jecht just advanced to the next round. Borgan: 16 |
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