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Id (Xenogears) |
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What kind of joke is this? First came the laughable preliminary mismatch pitting the embodiment of all mortal rage against some dainty fop with a flimsy rapier, and now Id's supposed to fight some reporter girl with neither protection against his speedy onslaught nor any particular ability to mount an offensive of her own? Maya's talent for controlling the demons within her is commendable, but now that she's come up against the smug face of man's true nature, she's quite simply out of her league. |
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After bringing the whoopass to the table by crushing Marcy like a little bug, Maya Amano goes against another, harder opponent. Id is speedy and has excellent evasion, but Maya's no slowpoke herself - plus, his evasion is useless against her magic-attacking Persona. She'll easily tough out his weak attacks and heal herself with her nigh-limitless SP, and bring Persona yet another DL victory. Heavy better watch out for Maya's second run - for there's not an opponent in her way that can stop her! |
SageAcrin This match had potential, really. A strong, powerful man who is about as mentally stable as a moth stuck in a flashlight. A strong, capable, intelligent woman who, after being touched by said man, would probably shatter into tiny shards. (Brittle woman, really. Though, not in Id's sense. In the healers picking up small chunks of her off the arena floor sense.) However, all that's in the past now. You see, a few minutes after the match started, half a mile away, an exceedingly drunken Zidane attempted to arm-wrestle an equally non-sober Lenny Curtis. While Lenny was in his much, much larger form. Witnesses claimed Zidane bet that he could "pound that giant turnip into the ground", and that he was actually insane enough to try when someone bet a night with their wife that he couldn't win, against a beer from Zidane. (A few days later, Rutee beat the hell out of Stahn. Amazingly, alcohol makes him even more stupid.) The resulting skewed angle at which Zidane flew smashed him through the table, bounced him repeatedly off the cement floor, smashed him through the bar wall, through six other nearby buildings, sent him flying across an open field, through a train, into several gasoline tanks(For the same reason that straws have been seen to not catch on fire after a nuclear explosion, Zidane did not get burnt by the subsequent explosion of said tanks.), a barn, a laundromat, a cactus farm, and ultimately, the arena wall. With his charactaristic luck, Zidane stayed concious during the whole thing. And so, a drunken, bloody, needle-covered, gasoline-soaked Zidane covered in feathers and women's panties and carrying a goat smashed into the arena. A flailing Zidane promptly ripped off Maya's dress in-mid-flight...and subsequently ripped off Id's clothes a moment later. (Zidane has a talent for involuntary clothes removal. The theory is that it's a combination of his luck and sublimation, due to not getting enough voluntary clothes removal. He's been on the couch or at another guy's house ever since he got to the Duelling League.) Subsequently, he bounced off the wall, evidently lacking enough momentum to pierce through, did an impressive backflip, and landed on Id's lap, still holding the goat. Maya promptly let out an impressively loud gasp, in the suddenly quiet arena, blasted a portion of the audience for a distraction, and fled. (If it seems out of character that a kind woman such as Maya would kill random people for a smokescreen, remember what the League tends to do to even partially unclothed women. Hundreds of teenage-or-slightly-older men in one place has some major downsides, really.) Zidane, stunned, dazed, suffering multiple concussions, still roaring drunk, and giggling, happily shoved Maya's dress over Id's head. Normally, the audience would have promptly torn Zidane apart, but it turns out he got lucky. No one wanted to kill a goat just because Zidane had stolen it. So, Zidane merely had Id punch him so hard that he smashed into the other side of the arena. Mid-flight, he dropped the goat. By that point, at least half of the stunned people in the audience had decided it wasn't worth good MP or skill points or bullets or such to blast Zidane into a crater, so he overall got off easy. Unfortunately, this has been the last straw to an otherwise frail Id's masculinity. Between being forced to recall being dressed up as a girl, and being dressed up as a girl, Id's snapped. Well, as much as a single personality of an already crazy person can snap. Needless to say, Id has gone on a great adventure, now, abandoning gender roles and sanity, and he, indeed, feels he has found the greatest treasure the world has to offer. (If you can still use the male pronoun there, anyways.) At any rate, this wasn't very good for Fei. How do you explain that it wasn't you that dressed you up in lingerie and snuck into your girlfriend's room giggling about how they needed to find some hot guys? Looks like Zidane's not the only one who has problems with his girlfriend. As for Lenny? He's now the Duelling League spokesman/mascot for the Role-Playing Game Duelling League Caber Tossing League. Naturally, his first action was to toss a caber through the nearby RPGDL Football League headquarters. They expect unprecedented popularity, with him onboard. Or else. Id: 47 |
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