Season 34, Week 1
Edwin Odesseiron
(Baldur's Gate series)
 
As the most successful member of his cast (he always knew he was superior to those witless cattle, oh yes, oh yes), Edwin steps into the arena to claim more victories. Lyon (some stupid bodyguard with a pale imitation of a True Rune? Bah, how beneath Edwin.) is a perfect opponent for him to start a championship run against. While the power of the Twilight Rune is not to be underestimated even by an elite Red Wizard, Lyon will never get a chance to use it. With the options of the amazingly fast Power Word: Silence or Power Word: Stun to cripple Lyon, and Mirror Image to shut down her sword strikes if she tries to cut him down physically, Edwin looks ready to easily dispatch another moronic simian.

V

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The arena might seem like an odd place for Lyon; bodyguards are supposed to protect others, not go looking for fights. But victory here would bring glory to Falena, and anything that raises the profile of her Prince is a worth cause for this devoted swordswoman. And, of course, Edwin is one foe truly worth smiting: this vain, selfish, and venal spellcaster is just the sort of person that raises Lyon's hackles in a hurry. While it might be tempting to wipe that smirk off his face with Vermillion Sky, Edwin does have a fearsome collection of tricks at his disposal and it might be best to exploit the silence effect of her level three charge first - a tactic which has the added bonus of ending the mage's incessant taunting.


Monkeyfinger
All it took from Edwin was one word. A bright purple flash later, and Lyon was frozen like a statue in her incantation pose.

"Ohohohohoho!" Came a vicious laugh from the stands. Edwin glanced up to see the Knight of Falenas Alenia stepping into the ring, dragging by the ear a hapless rune merchant. "Who the hell? Stupid crimson haired ape. What are you doing interfering with my moment of glory?" Edwin shot at her.

Ignoring the blustering Red Wizard, Alenia drew her sword. "Stupid bodyguard! Some wielder of the twilight rune you turned out to be! Defeated before you could even take one action! Hmph!" She hacked at Lyon. Then slashed her again. And again. And a few more times.

Lyon didn't suffer even a scrape.

"Oh blast... damnit! Rune monkey! Detatch that rune from her hand and affix it to mine, now! I will prove once and for all that I AM the true bearer of this rune! That fop Vincent will never know what hit him!"

Alenia's hired help obediently complied, and Alenia left the ring laughing maniacally.

"Aaaaaaaand the winner, by disqualification, Lyon of Falenas!" boomed the voice of the ring announcer. Edwin flew into a rage. "WHAT!? You fool! I had her defeated! That empty headed witch didn't even wound her! This match is rightfully mine! Buffoon! Brainless idiot! Restart this match or my thayvian magic will reduce you to... noth... SHIT."

Edwin was too busy ranting to notice the judge fleeing the area until well after it happened. He lowered his head down and skulked out of the ring. (Worthless swordwench. I know just the way to get her for this. Oh yes, oh yes. No one does this to me.)

Edwin Odesseiron: 21
Lyon: 36