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Valvalis (Final Fantasy IV) |
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The tempestuous winds of Valvalis soar strongly! Now that she's deftly murdered Lang, Valvalis must prove her superiority to the Anti-Gnosis, the almighty KOS-MOS. The cyborg's X-Buster has shattered many a foe, but as a speedy wind entity, Valvalis has the deftness to avoid this fate. Furthermore, as powerful as KOS-MOS is, the android has no defense from the Fiend's fearsome Weak ability, meaning that the Lady of Gales need survive only one of the robot's attacks to triumph. With this in mind, Valvalis is sure that she can take home one more belt for the honor of the Four Fiends. |
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Round and round she goes; where she stops, only Kain knows! Unfortunately for Valvalis, her little evasion tactic will do her no good against her opponent this week. KOS-MOS comes prepared to fight the Fiend of Wind with a variety of mastered skills. Down-DEX will vastly lower the odds of Valvalis even touching the robot with her physical or even with her Weak skill. Better yet, the android's trademark X-Buster is ready to cut through Valvalis like the incorporeal personification of wind she is. KOS-MOS is in for a rough match, but, by her own exacting calculations, the odds are in her favor. |
Jo ou Ranbu Valvalis didn't quite recover from her capricious mood swings from last week. Sure, Rubicante and Cagnazzo forced her to stay in a nice chamber of compressed air without any bits of Adult Swim - instead, she had to watch a marathon of C-Span and the Law Channel. Which, admittedly, took her out of her Super Milk Chan pump. But she came out... different, to say the least. KOS-MOS, at the arena, adjusted her X-Buster, analyzing the data collected about her opponent. Shion Uzuki awaited anxiously for KOS-MOS' match at the arena, biting her lips and sighing heavily. The Fiend of Wind was slightly late, yes. But it was still within range of her accepted schedule. When she came... ... people were astounded. Yet again. Valvalis was composed, serious. She wore glasses and a straight, discreet blazer. She carried a brown suitcase, and looked at the judges as she approached the arena, with her working clothes. The Lady of Gales glanced rapidly at her robotic opponent and raised her head. She was ready. "I call Shion Uzuki to the tribune!" Everybody was surprised. Even the judges. But she didn't do anything against KOS-MOS using someone else, so it couldn't be considered an outside interference. Shion reluctantly got up and walked to the arena, wondering what the hell was Valvalis about to do. Valvalis grabbed a few chairs, so all of them could be more comfortable. Valvalis sighed and stared contemptly at Shion. They kept silent for a few moments. KOS-MOS was silent and unemotional as her usual. "Now, miss Uzuki, I understand you have an affair with the robotic organism known as KOS-MOS", Val said calmly. "What???!!", Shion blushed. "How did...", then she stopped. "Errr... what do you mean by that?". The red-haired girl was sweating. "Don't fool me. You know that here in the RPGDL, we are very lenient with yuri and yaoi. But the RPGDL Sexual Decency Squad do NOT condone robot and human relationships. On another note, they aren't very keen on animals and other things either, but they have little say on the matter. AND I received a few compromising evidences that will prove your involvement with that little glorified realdoll of yours". Valvalis spoke like a true lawyer, trying to convince the crowd. The crowd itself, though, was too busy dropping jaw after jaw to the floor. The judges popped their eyes. Valvalis opened her suitcase, grabbing a few pictures... and she showed her to Shion. "Now, miss Uzuki... do you recognize these?". Shion's eyes went wide, and she hurriedly nodded with her head. Then, Valvalis showed the pictures to KOS-MOS. "Now, you, my lady KOS-MOS... what do you see about these?". KOS-MOS' systems started going overboard. "SE-SEXUAL... OVERLOAD... CANNOT... STAND... SO MUCH LUST.... SORRY, SHION...". And KOS-MOS... well, she exploded. Shion, covered in soot, grabbed what little left was of her favourite robot and ran away crying. Valvalis dusted off her blazer and closed the suitcase. The judges, absolutely baffled, just gave the Fiend a win to avoid any more headaches. This time, Rubicante was with Milon, watching the "match". Cagnazzo stayed home, muttering something about "avoiding a second disaster" or whatever. Milon laughed hysterically, while Rubicante sighed heavily, shrugging. After that, Valvalis came to Rubi and Milon. "I won this cause, gentlemen. Shall we?". They got up, and went outside. Already outside the arena, Milon asked Valvalis with a shroud of curiosity: "Hey, what did that picture have that made KOS-MOS explode?". Valvalis smiled capriciously and opened her suitcase, taking out the picture. "See for yourself, my colleague". It didn't take too long for Milon's head to explode into tiny bits. The explosion also destroyed the photograph, but let's not get into that. Rubicante looked at Valvalis, who was already laughing loudly. He sighed once again, while she laughed. "You could just play her matches like everybody else. But nooooooooooooo, Valvalis always must be annoying beyond all hell. I just don't get it". Valvalis dried a tear from her eye, smirked at Rubicante and shook her head. "It's just more amusing this way". After that, Valvalis was confined to yet another week of compressed air chamber fun. This time, watching the Tree Channel. Valvalis: 38 Draco Ignifer
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