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Tellah (Final Fantasy IV) |
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Another round, another young'un to teach some respect for the elders to. And, oh boy, does the great sage have a prime target this week. The red-haired harridan of Behind the Scenes is most assuredly in need of a lesson in respect, not just toward her elders, but... well, pretty much toward everything. She's done well for herself so far, it must be admitted, but it's time to show her that outside of her studio where she can beat on Godlikes freely, she's just another Light fighter up against the powerful offensive magic and incapacitating status of the great sage. Maybe she'll have some nicer things to say on her program once she's had some time to Stop and think about it, or maybe she'd rather just cool her heels in a block of ice... |
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A good ol' politically incorrect bruising is just about Chisato's favorite type of fight - after breaking bones and spleens of children, waifs and the elderly, Journalist Love is about to set its aim on yet another old geezer! Tellah is very much Chisato's kind of opponent: squishy, slow and with highly breakable body parts. Sure, he can turn her into a frog if he manages to survive a beating, but what are the odds of such a frail old man managing to take a bruisin' from good old Chisato? And he's also slow - so, Chisato's lightning-paced blows will surely get many a chances to crush the fart right there. Even if she's risking yet another batch of lawsuits, Chisato is rarin' to relieve some stress. And hey, Behind The Scenes has been through worse. |
DragonKnight Zero This is a story of a kid named Jason. Jason had a pet frog who he'd named Fred. One day Fred had it with being cooped up in a fish bowl and made a run for it. Giving chase, Jason followed Fred towards a large radioactive container. When Fred touched the container, he grew to an enormous size and leaped down the hole which had appeared. Ignoring the absurdity of what a container of radioactive waste was doing in his yard (among other things), Jason pursued Fred down the hole. Miraculously landing unhurt, Jason saw no sign of his frog. He did find a battle tank with a funky pink and white color scheme and an armored suit with the same coloring. Again ignoring the strangeness of the tank (and an entire subterranean world) beneath the ground of his backyard, Jason climbs in the tank, dons the suit, and embarks on a quest to retrieve his pet frog. Despite not being old enough to drive, Jason successfully pilots the tank through the depths of the subterranean world. Blasting hundred of mutated monsters and even uglier henchthings for additional modules for the tank, he navigates his way to the Plutonium boss. After an exhausting battle, he defeats the boss and finally finds Fred, who had reverted to his previous small size. The reunion was not to last. A scant ten days later, "Fred" was frognapped by a strange... thing with an apron, oversized fork, and a gigantic tongue. Jason never saw Fred again. Oh, the match. Well, Fred was formerly known as Chisato. She's made a lot of enemies over the years and they're stoked at the chance for some payback. No way she could have avoided being frogged. Either Tellah does it himself or she defeats him in a blitz and one of his castmates transforms her from the sidelines. Lezard puts a curse on Chisato so that she won't revert to human form unless she gets a kiss from a prince. Actually, any male would work but how many guys would kiss a frog at all. She's then given to Viki who had an allergy to frogs that day. It takes quite a bit of bribery from Nate (and multiple threats of torture, shush) before the DL's premeir frog-catcher is dispatched to find and return her. Quina being Quina, eats her. A new one for the record books, it's the first time Quina refuses to eat a frog. Not liking the taste, it spits her out. The powers that control the curse count Quina's eating attempt as a kiss. However, Chisato doesn't return to human form for a week as the forces governing her curse try to work out Quina's gender. (The verdict is still undetermined; the magical energies fizzled out from the strain of the puzzle) Chisato hasn't gained any humility from the experience it seems. Any attempts to learn about the inside of a Qu's digestive system are met with savage beatings. (Due credit to the story writers for Blaster Master. What were they sniffing?) Tellah: 27 Foliage
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