Season 34, Week 2
Cinna
(Final Fantasy IX)
 
He's been struck by lightning, engulfed in flames, kicked in the face, and drowned like a rat, but the Tantalus Thief That Could still keeps returning to the arena, never giving up on the hope that he will one day grab a win. Thankfully, that day may be closer than he thinks! His opponent, Keele Ziebel, is a slow, frail mage. This makes him easy pickings for the hammer-wielding... whatever Cinna is. The days of losing one puny fight after another has finally come to an end! This week, Cinna shall stand triumphant over his enemy and he will shine like he has never shone before!

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The Inferian University scholar Keele had bad luck last time he fought in the League, but this time there's nothing that can stop Light's smartest fighter! Cinna is, without a doubt, one of the most ridiculed members of the Light division. As such, there should be no worries as Keele dives into the ring! Cinna's durability, offensive capability and agility are legendarily bad, so even Keele's paltry Aqua Edge magic should be more than enough to tame the not-so savage beast. Nurse will keep Keele alive, and a quick summon should end the fight in an instant. Don't mess with intelligence when it's not on your side!


superaielman
To call this match dull would be like calling the ocean wet. Cinna's tenative hammer strikes were met by Keele's puny swipes of his book. This would be bad enough normally, but some twisted monster in the audience gave Nara 25 GP to start randomly healing both combatants. Was there no chance of salvation?

It almost appeared to be an illusion at first, a collective mirage imagined by those who wanted the fight to finally end. The sound of the arena doors being torn off the hinges dispelled that notion.

"So the little piggy trying to save his planet wants to insult me?!? I'll show him!!!" Luca's charge into the ring was as thing of beauty. An insane, half dead man who took at least a foot over both of the duellers was charging in, screaming for blood and death. Cinna did the only thing he could in the situation- he promptly ran out of the ring screaming, and passed out about halfway to the exit Luca hasn't torn open. Keele wasn't so lucky.

Keele was promptly cut to ribbons by Luca's insane charge.. only to be healed again by a now frightened Nara, who had decided that keeping Luca's attention away from her was a good thing. Poor Keele was fullhealed from near death a full ten times before the police could get there and drag Luca out of the ring, screaming about killing everyone.

Cinna: 7
Keele Ziebel: 52