Season 30, Week 1
Celine Jules
(Star Ocean: The Second Story)
 
The lovely and buxom Queen Celine is ready to prove that she is a force to be reckoned with. With Reflection and regen, Celine can igore all of Norn's pathetic blows while blasting the monk into kingdom come with the fearsome power of Meteor Storm. As a last resort, Celine can always appeal to the XXX fanboys. After all, it wouldn't be right if such a queenly beauty like Celine was defeated in the first round.

V

S

The demure beauty Norn has entered into Season XXX for one reason: to dominate in both Arena battle and inspirational appearance! The girlfriend of Debonair is a fearsome cleric and a stunning blonde, a one two punch to KO Celine right out of the gate! Infinite healing intermixed with Ankh Attacks will outlast the MP limited Celine, and a natural and bosom-heavy blonde will send Celine's scanty outfits packing!


superaielman
The group was coming something back to normalcy. TimeLord had fully restored his JP with an ether potion, and the rest of the group was healed up. Well, as normal as a group of six nearly naked girls willingly associating with Lezard and TimeLord can be. It was quiet.

The silence was broken by Lezard slamming his book shut and waving his hands at the wall. "This is…odd. It appears that what Royce and Xenobia did to Edge was no mere pummeling." Seeing that he had everyone's attention, Lezard laughed and stood up, putting on a show.

"The very energies of the entire Duelling League arena are highly unstable. As you all know, it's season 30, which is also known as Season XXX. The very air is shaking with the latent energy of perversion. Edge is something of a Duelling Leauge mascot in that regard. He's the foremost DL pervert, but he's basically harmless; he always comes back to Rydia and never hurts a girl. No matter what happens, he's always confident things will turn out okay. What Xenobia and Royce did was shatter that confidence.”

The looks he was getting didn’t exactly drip with sympathy. Harmless or not, most of the girls had no love for the ninja.

“This wouldn't normally be such a big deal, but the aforementioned instability in season XXX makes things interesting. Edge's sudden lack of faith and weakness has shifted the balance of perversion. To someone who's known for its darker side. A loser. Someone not liked by anyone. An outcast of respectable DL society. You know him as Zidane. In a way, this is horrible luck for him. All of this latent power and energy being directed towards him has probably fried the few brain cells he had. Zidane will be lucky if he can so much as tie his shoes when this is over; right now, he’s just out of everyone’s control, including his own. He needs to be stopped, and now."

Noticing the slightly puzzled stares facing him, Lezard sighed. "Think of Edge as the light side of perversion, and Zidane as the dark side. If we don't fix things soon, the dark side will consume the entire DL. It could be destroyed. We must move quickly - if the pattern of attacks are any indication, Zidane's group will strike Norn and Celine next. Thankfully, My omniscience extends to teleportation spells. Get ready; we could be walking into an interesting situation."

Jessica, who had been quiet, snarled. "How do we fix this?"

"You'll see, my dear. Anyhow, my spell's done. Let’s go!"

---

The group materialized in front of Celine's dressing room. The door to the room was ajar. Celine and Norn were standing inside, both wearing what appeared to be old bathrobes. When the group appeared, Celine near broke down in joy.

"Thank goodness, darlings! I thought we'd never see anyone else besides Zidane and his goons! All he did was rip our clothes off and shriek about me being the winner due to my.. ah.. assets, before running off. He said something about avenging himself and ending Edge."

Lezard started at that news. "We don't have much time, then. Norn and Celine, come with us. We're teleporting directly into Edge's room! I know just how to fix this!" Much to the dismay of all the assembled women and TimeLord, Lezard suddenly began cackling.

"Ahahahaha! This is fun!"

---

Lezard's spell had landed the group right in front of Edge's door. No one was near the room quite yet, but they could all feel waves of energy coming their way, at an incredibly fast speed.

"We don't have have margin for error here. TimeLord, I need you to put up some sort of barrier to stop or slow down time outside of this area. I'll assist you in just a second. I need to explain exactly what needs to be done to the girls." It was then that they noticed that Lezard, oddly enough, wasn't laughing.

"Ladies. I teleported you all around for one very specific reason, and it wasn't to waste my precious magical energies. There's but one way to reverse the effects of what's occurred recently. A circle of eight. You must all link together in Edge's room, and, ah... well, reverse the perversion sink. I think you're all bright enough to figure out exactly what I mean."

The shrieks and protests were loud enough to make the TimeLord jump. It had no effect on Edge, whose door was still shut.

"This is no time for complaining. If we don't reverse the effects now, the Duelling League universe could end! Even if it isn't…do you want a superpowerful, super-perverted Zidane running around?" To his credit, Lezard didn't even smile when the girls silently opened the door to Edge's room without another comment.

"No matter what, the damage must be undone! I'll be waiting out here, but don't take too long!"

---

TimeLord shuddered. The magical barrier, composed of all of his mystical abilities, was crumbling. Zidane's ferocious attacks were slowly breaking through, and he wasn't letting up. The pounding his flunkies were putting on the barrier wasn't helping. "Damn Lezard…the weakling passed out when the first wave of attacks hit. No wonder he was able to barely escape Light. I hope the girls are nearly done!"

Before TL could even finish those words, the door to Edge's room exploded. The girls stood in the very back of the room, all of them crowded around Edge's bed. That was all the TimeLord could see, as his view was blocked by a sprinting Edge, armed to the teeth. The crumbling barrier of Time didn't so much as slow Eblan's crown prince, as he ran straight through the barrier and began shredding Zidane's posse with a pair of claws.

Sten was closest to the door, and exploded in a haze of blood. Valygar and the small army of hangers-on and bodyguards fared no better, being blasted away by a single Flood spell. TimeLord could feel things returning to normal, as Edge landed blow after blow.

The only thing left in his way was Zidane. The monkey-man's defense was truly valiant, as he screeched and sliced Edge from forehead to waist from a slash of his daggers. The blow didn't even seem to slow down his berserk foe, and in fact only seemed to make him press his attacks even harder.. Readying his Cat and Hell claws, he came in close and started to rip Zidance apart. It didn't take long for Genome to drop his weapon and stop defending himself. This didn't stop the blows from coming.
---

Celes, now wrapped up in a sheet, watched as Edge beat Zidane to a pulp. The thief was screaming in agony, but he couldn't seem to find any release in death or even unconsciousness. The hallway was covered in blood and gore, and Edge hasn't even taken a second to wipe off the mess that covered his clothing and weapons. It was a massacre.

Suddenly, Edge stopped attacking. Grabbing Zidane by the throat, he threw him against the wall, with enough force to shake the entire building.

"TimeLord. Get the rest of the League assembled in the Champions’ Hall. I'll be there as soon as soon as I finish up with this loser." Without another word, Edge vanished in a flash, taking what was left of Zidane with him.

Celes walked over to TimeLord, with a look of disgust on her face. "How did Zidane survive those attacks? Edge could have leveled a WEAPON with that kind of assault." Timelord's shrug wasn't what she expected. "If I had to venture a guess, it was because the magical energies infusing Zidane gave him near-limitless amounts of life. I'm guessing that Edge is going to beat all that life out of him, which is why I'm going to assemble the arena right now. I need to make a call to a few key Godlikes. If you'll excuse me..."
---

The champion's hall was overflowing. Everyone had noticed the strange occurrences and shifting energies, but no one outside of Yuri and Celes's band had the slightest clue what was behind it. When TimeLord said he knew the cause of the recent unpleasantness, it was easy to talk all of the ranked fighters into assembling for an emergency meeting. Even with the chaos in Yuna and Ted's match, it took less than an hour to get everyone together.

When Edge walked through the champion doors wearing only his mask and pants, the crowd stirred a little. Edge being at the center of a universal fiasco surprised no one, especially in a season that seemed tuned to his potential. The crowd gasped when it saw the savagely-beaten Zidane being dragged behind Edge, but only because of his horrific wounds…and the fact that, somehow, he was alive. After all, if it had all been Zidane’s fault, that was even less surprising than Edge’s involvement.

The crowd started to make noise when it saw Charmles, Valygar, and Sten tossed into the center of the hall along with Zidane, all beaten to within an inch of their lives. The crowd erupted when Edge vanished without a word, and appeared in the Godlike stands. Without as much as a wasted motion, he threw Xenobia and Royce into the center of the pit. That got a rise out of the crowd – there was no way that Edge could normally throw around a pair of Heavy fighter like that with his bare hands, let alone two Godlikes as strong as Royce and Xenobia. But before anyone could think of intervening, Timelord gave a quick nod to Mewtwo and both of them were trapped in psychic binds far too strong to break through. The master of time then motioned for the crowd to be quiet, and began speaking.

"As you all know, there's been some…strange events…here recently. From Cecilia's match to the horrors of Brahnedom, it's been a very odd week. With the help of Lezard and Celes, I've managed to track down the source of all this.

A short while later

...And that's what happened. Thankfully, Lezard managed to use a spell of reversal to fix the damage done, and Edge handled the rest." The crowd stared at the bloodied pile of fighters in the middle of the ring. Several powerful healing spells hit the floor, restoring them to full life.

"In short, Royce and Xenobia indirectly caused Zidane to be successful. Tribal and his pathetic little group nearly brought down the Duelling League with his actions afterwards, and caused countless traumatic events. I assembled you all here to inflict a fitting punishment upon those responsible. I'm sure you can all find a way to properly express yourselves."

Some 900 combatants stared at Royce, Xenobia, Charmles, Zidane, Valygar, and Sten. The sound of weapons being drawn and spells being prepared drowned out any pleas for mercy, with one exception.

"…Hey, why am I here? I have no idea what happened. Someone help me? Please? What are you…why…but I never…Oh God the pain!!"

---

Celes stood at the entrance to TimeLord's realm, properly dressed for the first time since her match with Jessica. "So you're saying that because Zidane had official authority, all those results stand? How horrible. Well…compared to what could have happened, I guess it’s not worth worrying about. But what about the…um.."

TimeLord shook his head. "Edge's memory is blank from the time he found out he wasn't going to fight until he woke up in Rydia's room after the…incident. He claims that he saw the drawing and had a headache, and slept straight through everything. Zidane also won't remember anything that happened up until Mewtwo slapped the psychic bonds on him, assuming anyone ever bothers reviving him.” Here he almost smiled. “After all, they only stopped hurting him when there weren't enough pieces to put back together for a proper revival spell. Lezard wasn't touched but I strongly suspect his brains are scrambled beyond repair anyway. He's too obsessed with Lenneth to care about anything else."

"As for the rest? That's for you and the girls to deal with. As for me, I got good press, the chance to see Zidane and Ghaleon's wenches beaten down, and I admit I had a fun. I'm not going to mention what might or might not have happened in Edge's room."

Without a word, Celes turned her back turned to the TimeLord, and started the ong trip from his realm to the medical station where they were (sort of) trying to put Zidane back together. After all, she hadn't had a chance to get him back for all he put her through.

---

With Celes gone, TimeLord finally stopped holding back his ear-to-ear grin. "All that, and Celes never bothered to check Edge's room for a TimeRecord spell. I guess she did have a lot on her mind. All in all, a very nice day's work."

Celine Jules: 39
Norn: 32

Taishyr
True to her determination, Celine appealed to the judges.

Unfortunately, the judge box... was veiled by a curtain. A rather flimsy one, but hey. The judges had even set it right on the edge of the arena! They must want to see her, in all her glory, up close and personal! This would be her finest moment!

So she flirted with the box.

No response.

Norn snickered.

Celine shot her a dirty look, then proceeded to flatter the judges.

No response.

Norn turned away as she started laughing. Celine threw a Southern Cross in irritation, then turned back to the box and started slowly, tantalizingly, lowering the curtain...

Debonair's Sonic Strike blitzed through the box, blasting Celine out of the arena. Norn blew him a kiss, then squealed as she was swept up in her arms.

Hey, man, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And when the judges of the DL offer to let you judge a match... well. A man must stand by his woman, after all.