Season 35, Week 1
Miluda Folles
(Final Fantasy Tactics)
 
Rebellion springs forth fresh this season. Miluda Folles, legendary Death Corps leader, returns for another chance at glory in the arena, and as usual she'll seize it or fall valiantly in the attempt. There's nothing fancy about Miluda's fighting style - she scorns the traditional break techniques of the Knight class, and instead relies on counterattacks and normal physical blows to win the day. And it plays right to that style that Shabon is frail - frail enough to fear the mighty bladework Miluda relies on. A few solid hits with her Mythril Sword will teach Shabon a lesson about the glorious revolution. Heal all you want, child. It only delays the inevitable!

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After a long time without a berth, musician and girl wonder Shabon finally gets another chance to shine! With dazzling rhythm and wonderfully crafted moves, the street performer from Vinay Del Zexay will face a woman with no taste for the more refined arts: the stuck-up Miluda Folles. Fortunately for little Shabon, however, Miluda is as inept at fighting as she is at appreciating musical masterpieces: feather-light swordstrikes and a frail build aren't exactly scaring the nimble girl! Against enemies like that, Shabon probably won't even need to waste charges of her Wind Rune: pummeling Miluda like she's the second coming of Guillaume will do just fine!


Gatewalker
Cliché as it was, Miluda just couldn’t bring herself to hit a child. Especailly a common girl, forced to live performing on the street for enough money to eat. No, Shabon was not her enemy, and she would not benefit the cause at all by harming a little girl.

So, rather than fight, Miluda decided to take Shabon under her wing. It wasn’t hard to get the young performer excited about beating up corrupt nobles, considering that Miluda used Algus, Charmles and Euram Barrows as her examples of nobles that need punishing.

So, after a healthy amount of Charmles beatings, Miluda found herself quite impressed with her new protégé’s skills and devotion to beating up bad men and decided to step aside and allow Shabon to carry the cause further on into the season.

The fact that she quickly realized that she had no chance at winning after seeing Shabon beat the stuffing out of Charmles in record time, heal him, silence his incessant whining, and then do it all over again had nothing to do with her decision, of course.

Miluda Folles: 31
Shabon: 51

SageAcrin
And so, we have the only thing more humiliating than losing a slap fight.

Bringing a sword to a slap fight and losing.

Miluda was seen after the fight getting royally drunk and making out with Zidane.

Well, at least Zidane wins. No one else does, though.