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Banon (Final Fantasy VI) |
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Who’s more fitting for this grand season than a perverted old man? Well, Banon probably isn’t that perverted. But he’s old. Really, really old! Old enough that he probably shouldn’t be fighting due to various oldman ailments! But, nevertheless, he’s entered the arena this season for his share of ogling. Too bad his first opponent is such a disappointment in that department. Wakaba may be a young girl, but most would guess her to be the opposite gender, and Banon doesn’t get into any of that nansy-pansy stuff. Oh well, he’ll just have to give his opponent an old-fashioned beat down instead. With his infinite healing and impressive MBlock, Banon should have few issues sending Wakaba running back to her hideous master. |
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An old man against an innocent, young girl. A clash like this was quite inevitable in Season XXX. Granted, Banon isn't exactly the most perverted of old men, and Wakaba is too androgynous for most perverts, but it's the thought that counts! Not that Wakaba cares about the themes or whatever behind the match today. She's been itching for another chance in the arena, and here she is with an easy first round match. Sure, Banon's infinite healing is nice and all, but the fact remains that he's an old man, complete with old man speed, strength and toughness. A few critical kicks here, some doubles from lapping the slug there, maybe a White Tiger or two for a fancy finish, and it's off to the second round for the karate kid. |
Gatewalker Waiting for her match to start, Wakaba sighed and picked nervously at her pleated skirt. “Remind me why I’m wearing this again master?” Rather than her normal fighting clothes, she was in a classic Japanese school girl uniform, and was feeling quite embarrassed. Her master, the great L.C. Chan, nodded sagely at her question(because that’s what great masters do, of course), “Because this is Season XXX, the season of weirdness and perversion, and a fighter must always honor the spirit of the competition in which he fights. And this is the best way for you to do it without looking like some harlot.” “Oh yes, of course. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, master.” She had never heard of this ‘honor the spirit of the competition’ rule before, but it made sense. Kinda. And who was she to doubt the words of her great master? . . . The match was over quickly. Wakaba charged in for one of her famous high kicks and Bannon passed right out. It was a little confusing, since he had managed to dodge her attack, and she had no idea why his nose was bleeding. Or why the noses of almost every older man in the audience were doing likewise. Maybe they were just too old for this kind of action? Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Wakaba simply accepted her victory and left the arena. Elsewhere: “Damn it Chan! I know you fixed that fight! I don’t know how you did it, but I know you did it!” Shilo was seething as he counted out Chan’s winnings from betting an absurd amount of potch on his student. “Shut your trap and keep counting, mamma’s boy. I think you’re almost halfway there.” Banon: 28 |
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