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Worker 8 (Final Fantasy Tactics) |
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This week, Worker 8 is up against a fighter who is essentially an anti-mage. Yes, Worker 8 against an inferior anti-mage. One who has healing. One who is not immune to instant death. Another carbon-based fool to be Crushed and turned into stew before the might of our robot masters. One more skull on the pile, another victory on the path to redemption and glory. One more bisque to be finished off with human body parts. No mere bandit will obstruct Worker 8's path to the championships, nor his imminent return to the fields of Heavy and the glorious wastelands reserved for the truly Godlike. Worker 8 is the future and that future is a giant iron foot stomping on a human face - forever. |
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After drowning two mages with Silent Lake, Lo Wen finally comes face to face with someone challenging: Worker 8, the only former Godlike in Middle, and the Duelling League's original mage killer. The bot's got quite the set of credentials, but Lo Wen doesn't care. After all, how useful are anti-magic abilities if your opponent is all about bonking you fast and hard until you stop moving? And unlike Greco, Lo Wen can whack the tin can from afar, avoiding those annoying counters of his. With a ton of full-healing magic to laugh off the robot's self-destructing Works and a few devastating criticals thrown into the mix, the judges may as well just skip this match and escort the bandit to the finals. |
Halbarad Lo Wen entered the match (notably) on a full stomach. The bizarre behavior of her opponent over the course of this season was under investigation, but with no leads to any sort of cheating in place, there was no reason to disqualify the 'bot. So it was with no small measure of trepidation that the bandit leader entered the arena for her match. To her relief, Worker 8 was not apparently carrying any kind of food or cooking implements, although as she neared her place in the ring's boundaries she did note that the robot's legs gleamed a bit more than the rest of its battered casing. Shrugging it off, she faced off against the bot, and the judges blew the whistle for the match to begin. Keeping her distance, she let fly a shot with the morningstar, only to have it batted aside by Worker 8, now approaching her in a lumbering charge. Just before reaching her, the robot let out a pneumatic hiss, and a huge shower of brown dust erupted from the bot in all directions, covering the bandit in powder. There was unfortunately little time to worry about that, however, as the robot was upon her and the battle was joined in earnest. A few minutes of exchanging blows, however, and Lo Wen was quite ready to grab the chance to heal. Deciding to use her more powerful healing first - either would be sufficient to heal her fully, she waited for a moment when Worker 8 was far enough away not to hit her immediately then invoked the magic of Kindness Rain. The mystical water filled the arena temporarily, healing her wounds.... and more. As the magic faded, the bandit woman leapt forwards towards Worker 8 - or tried to. Unnoticed by all until she made her attack, the ground was now covered by several inches of sticky brown goop - and falling into it headlong in her rush, Lo Wen was the first to discover exactly what it was. "Chocolate pudding?!" Again, there was little time to think, as Worker 8 approached - having little difficulty moving in the sticky morass himself - a quick succession of blows left the bandit captain completely unconscious. Worker 8 continued his work in the arena past this point, however... Finally, several minutes later the shocked judges declared an end to the match, Worker 8 clearly the victor. And in the center of the arena stood a masterfully sculpted pudding a la Lo Wen, her ball and chain arranged artfully on top like a rather vicious cherry. Worker 8: 50 |
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