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Princess Toadstool (Super Mario RPG) |
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A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away, a sweet princess vanquished a giant lizard with a frying pan. Now, in a new adventure, princess Toadstool, mushroom noblesse for the ages, will bring to Cocytus soldier Ptolomea the same fate that Bowser met! Not only Toadstool has loads of healing to keep up with Ptolomea, she seriously outspeeds the hardened veteran - which means he'll have even more issues keeping up with the princess than usual. Steel against steel jokes aside, frying pans are a surefire tool to victory! |
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For the destiny of his men. For the glory of his unit. For the honor to fight and the nectar of victory, Ptolomea will give it all. The hardened soldier of Cocytus will raise his mighty steel claw and clash against... a pinkly, sweet, kidnap-prone princess who is in love with a plumber? What in the world brought this? Nevertheless, Ptolomea doesn't back out from skirmish. This seasoned general will use his muscles, his Ptolomea Dynamite and his years of war training to topple the weird princess from Mushroom Kingdom. And may his next foe be worthy of his might. |
SageAcrin Ahhh, Ptolomea. Hardened veteran of many battles. Who has seen maybe two women in the last few years. (Maybe, since no one in their right mind would definately define Caina as male or female.) Ptolomea promptly took one look at Toadstool, and offered to take her out to dinner. Toadstool, with charactaristicly swift uptake, smashed him over the head with her frying pan. Declaring that he liked feisty women, Ptolomea continued hitting on Toadstool. Toadstool continued hitting him. Finally, he simply swept her off her feet, ignoring the repeated whacks(Or possibly not. This wasn't entirely a charactaristic act for Ptolomea; Maybe the blows on the head were taking their toll.), and took her home. He, of course, walked out of the arena first, since his opponent was clearly not touching the ground. Willful ring out, clear loss. But in the grand scheme of things, this probably doesn't matter that much, since Ptolomea probably couldn't have taken any more pan whacks before he started singing "Eyes on Me". Of course, Toadstool has no less than two people experienced in tracking her down, and they have many allies. Cocytus wouldn't be a match for the Koopa Troop if they joined forces with Mario and his friends. Even if they did support Ptolomea. Which, of course, they didn't. (The only one that didn't ask him how many times he had been smacked over the head was Vinsfeld, who didn't bother taking the time and just kicked him out.) So, with the captive princess, Ptolomea went home. And that's how Ptolomea's home was demolished in a few minutes, and Princess Toadstool was saved. Nintendo looked into making this event a new sidescroller. However, it turned out that the plot was too short. So they're making it a puzzle game. Expect to see "Tetris Attack 2: Ptolomea's Revenge!" out in stores around 2008, give or take a few (dozen) years. As for Ptolomea, he's now under the sincere delusion that he's Bowser. The rest of Cocytus is too busy cracking up at his giant paper mache shell to take him to a therapist. Princess Toadstool: 55 |
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