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Edge Eblan (Final Fantasy IV) |
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With a tough victory over Noa under his belt, Edge's next match is a comparative walk in the park. Bowser Koopa's vaunted tricks of kidnapping women won't phase Edge in the least, to say the minimum. Eblan's rebellious prince has faced far tougher challenges than invading Bowser's castle and handing out a much deserved beating. Fear? Worthless. Edge's Fuma darts are completely unreliant on stats, and thus unaffected by Bowser's pitiful attempt at status. Not that it matters: Edge outspeeds the sluggish lizard by so much that it's unlikely he'll even mount much of anything resembling offense. Worrying over the possibility of Bowser's keep being a good gift for Rydia is Edge's only serious concern in the fight. It certainly isn't the Koopa king's pitiful offense or skillset. |
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So, some snot-nosed little punk thinks he can take on the mighty Bowser? After seeing what happened to last person who thought they could tangle with the terrible turtle? Well, this Edge kid has some guts, that’s for sure. And Bowser is gonna spill those guts out for everyone to see! With his superior strength and rock-hard shell, this bad lizard will shrug off just about anything Edge can do, and strike back with his own bonecrushing attacks. But most of all, a little presence goes a long way in a fight, and once this puny ninja has had a moment to let the Terrorize settle in, he’ll beg the Koopa King to just let him leave the arena in one piece. Maybe if he grovels enough he’ll make it out in only two… and that alone should be a mercy! Bahahahahaha! |
SageAcrin "Hrmph. Where the hell is Edge? Did he just leave without fighting me? Well, it's not like he has much of a chance against the King of the Koopas! Kyahahaha!" Bowser said, snickering. "Though, he's not the type to flee." Then an explosion could be heard from a arena over. "Humph. This is dull. Someone's blowing stuff up, and it's not me. What's next, someone kidnaps a Princess and shows her off in front of me? That's it, I'm getting out of here. He's not showing." Bowser said, grumpily, as he turned to leave. Suddenly a chorus could be heard from nearby. "...sai..." "No more..." "...what is that?" "...more Sailor Ga..." "...no more Sai..." "No more Sailor Galas! No more Sailor Galas! NO MORE SAILOR GALAs! NO MORE SAILOR GALAS!!!" The cries of an angry mob could be heard. Edge walked into the arena, flanked by women. Bowser stared blankly. Garnet til Alexandros. Nadia Leene. Rosa Harvey. Nina. Nina. Nina. Nina. And Princess Toadstool. His Toadstool. In here. With Edge. After an explosion. Glaring at him. There were no other conclusions to be drawn. "Bowser, your time is u-" Edge was cut off by Bowser's anguished scream. Then Bowser punched through the floor, collapsing it. Bowser was out like a light by the time anyone got to him. From the fall or from shock was debatable. Since Edge was in the arena and no one but Bowser had done...well, anything...Edge was declared the winner by default. Bowser has attempted to go into a nunnery. When informed that he was not, in fact, a woman, he snapped out of it. Defeat doesn't really phase him much, not even to this degree. And so, Bowser panty-raided a nunnery. Edge Eblan: 72 |
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