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Swampert (Pokémon Series) |
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Not about to let Typhlosion have all the fun, Swampert just couldn’t wait to get in the ring himself and do what pokémon do best! Which is, of course, to beat the ever-loving snot out of anything their trainer points them at. But the thrill of battle isn't the only reason he's here. After Kyogre's unflattering defeat in Godlike, Swampert is on a mission. A mission to make the fools in this League respect the power of the mighty water pokémon! This hulking frog will start his crusade by mangling one of the biggest mainstays in all of RPGdom, a generic healer. With an assortment of moves to make the already slow wizard even slower, destroy its accuracy, and just generally do a ton of damage, Swampert is looking in fine form for his DL debut! |
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Striking a blow for generics everywhere, the amazing White Wizard has claimed a Light championship and a well deserved upgrade to Middle! Now, she has to prove herself in this brave new division by beating on a fellow generic. While they’re both respectable generics, that’s about the end of the similarities between White Wizard and Swampert. The pokémon is all about damage - all of it evadable and defendable. A few layers of Ruse and Fade, and nothing Swampert can do will be able to phase the landmark healer. With a bevy of healing and hammer whacks to complete her arsenal of tricks, WW is more than prepared to do the same thing to Middle that she did to Light. Sure, it might take awhile, but she’s always been a patient combatant. |
SageAcrin There are good things about Pokemon in the Duelling League. One of these things is how big the party scene has gotten. When a bunch of random, more-or-less intelligent(Case-by-case, exceptions may exist, consult your Vetrinarian for details-don't worry if he throws you out, they all do that the first fifty-two times.) animals show up in one place, all of which have their own sorrows. (Ranging from various Pokemon lamenting the incredible relative rarities of the males/females of their species-occasionally 0%-to old timers like Chansey recalling the good old days when their kids weren't always more remembered than them and how they used to be good at magic-to Flareon crying into his beer about how no one ever loved him.) The net result is a lot of drunken animals. Another thing is how large the animal protection agencies have gotten. It turns out that if you get three Pokemon professors together at once, they can accomplish anything. (It doesn't help that the various Team members tend to get punched in the face when they try to start Koffing or Poochyeena duels with random PCs.) These two factors reached critical mass in this match. As Swampert wandered into the arena and passed out for twenty hours. White Wizard could easily have taken the chance to beat Swampert during this. However, in a stunning coup, the Duelling League Animal Protection Agency had managed to successfully code insane amounts of animal loving tendancies into White Wizard, so she mostly just stood there and wrung her hands for twenty hours. (This took about one line of code. She is a generic healer, that's all been installed already. It's right next to Generic Love Interest and just before Generic Girl With Hidden Powers.) How did this match end? Well, after several minutes of a hung-over Swampert getting hugged by a overjoyed White Wizard, the match was over, as Swampert, head splitting, fled in terror. This has not been a banner day for Pokemon everywhere. On the upside, Swampert's now a spokesperson for Jecht Breweries. Swampert: 32 |
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