The RPG Duelling League


Season 22, Week 2
Alice Elliot (Shadow Hearts)			Lilly Pendragon (Suikoden III)
After a disappointing loss to Setzer many seasons ago, the wielder of the thumping bible has returned to beat some sense into the DL. First up is the spoiled daughter of Tinto, whose common sense is presumably measured in the negatives. Alice’s task here is simple, if not easy; Lilly focuses exclusively on smacking things really hard with a rapier, meaning a few castings of Advent will end the match. The trick is living long enough to do that. Fortunately, Alice has a few things in her favor, like her Cotton Underpants to soak up most of the impact, a plentiful supply of healing spells, and a kiss for luck from Godlike hunk Yuri. It won’t be easy, but then the life of an exorcist never is.	V	S	Hot-headed and very assertive, the firey Lilly stands in marked contrast to her current opponent. It goes beyond personality, too, as Lilly's duelling style has brought her great success in the arena (albeit way back in Season 1), while Alice has yet to win a single match. And why shouldn't this be the case? After all, with her light rapier, and high ranks in Swing and Heavy Damage, Lilly can really rack up the damage quickly, and her rather fitting Sword of Rage Rune only makes her swordplay more dangerous. Alice Elliot is going to learn firsthand why simple commoners like her should never mess with their social betters, especially ones as beautiful and dangerous as Lilly Pendragon.

SageAcrin "It's all your fault, and I demand you pay my medical bills and therapy!" Zidane yelled in Yuri's face. "Look. I keep telling you, if Zelos did something stupid, it's his fault. If Edge threw a smoke bomb that made Zelos do something stupid, as you say he did, it's still Zelos' fault. I don't get where the hell you say this is my fault from, though." Yuri said, shrugging and shoving Zidane out of his way. "Ow! Hey, that's my broken arm." Zidane said, as he fell rather hard up against a stone wall. "Zelos is still in a coma, and I can't find Edge anywhere. And you were seen sitting with him. So pay up!" "...Did you get a head injury or something?" Yuri said, smiling down at Zidane's bandaged head. "Oh, right, you did. Anyhow, just because I was sitting with someone doesn't make anything my fault. Now leave me alone." Yuri said, shouldering past again. "Ha! I'll make you sorry! I'll steal everything you own!" Zidane yelled after Yuri angrily. Yuri stopped in his tracks, then turned around. While Zidane wasn't the brightest bulb even when he hadn't had his head smashed by a randy unicorn, he was, however, a rather good thief. Enough so that beating him to a pulp over and over again to get his stuff back might just be a nuisance to Yuri. "Hmph. How about a bet?" Yuri said. "Bet?" "You know Alice and Lilly are fighting today, right?" "Yes, I got the first tickets." Zidane said, smirking. "How long did you camp out to...never mind. Listen. If you can pull this off, I'll pay your medical bills and pay for a massage for you. If not, we call it off. Deal?" "Deal!" Zidane said, shaking Yuri's hand. "But you hav...never mind." Yuri said, shaking his head... --- "So, all I have to do is press this button at the right time?" Zidane said, looking at a small switch in Yuri's hands. "That's right. Hit the enabler, then press the second button. Just make sure you only press it when this indicator and this one are green at the same time." Yuri said, handing the button to him. "And that opens the mudpit?" Zidane said, drooling slightly. "Well, yes, if you hit it at exactly the right time. Just don't screw up, okay?" Yuri said, walking off. "If you need me, I'll be watching Big Joe fight Mystina, okay?" "Won't need you at all, this is easy." Zidane said, staring down at the buttons. "Let's see...enabler...may as well press it." Zidane said, flicking a switch. "...Hmmm, he didn't say these lights would be going so fast, though." He added, watching the two series of LED lights on the sides of the switch rapidly go up and down. "Or that only one light of 25 was green. Still, it shouldn't be a problem for someone with reflexes as good as mine!" --- A furious battle raged. Sword met...bible...in a furious battle. Needless to say, Alice was mostly relying on her magic. But you have to block sometimes. At any rate, the battle was surprisingly close, and both combatents were getting exhausted, though in different ways. Alice was mentally tired, while Lilly had taken repeated blows and was wearing out. Suddenly, a massive roar was heard in the arena above, distracting Alice for a fatal moment. The hilt of Lilly's rapier smashed into Alice's forehead, knocking her half a dozen feet and leaving her dazed. As Lilly triumphantly cut in for the kill, a second, louder roar, was heard. And as the crowd watched, rubble fell on Lilly, knocking her off her feet, as a massive shaft of light smashed through the ceiling to finally diffuse in a huge explosion against one wall. The battle seemed over. Neither seemed able to win, so the simple thing was to call it based on who had went down first: Namely Alice. However... "Just press it. Be one with the light. The light and I are one with lights and shinies and sparklies." Zidane chanted dazedly, totally oblivious to what was going on in the arena. "Lights...press....NOW!" Zidane yelled (Confusing the people in the seats next to him.) and jammed down on the button. And a massive shaft of light pierced the center of the arena. --- "What the hell was that, anyways?" Yuri said, turning back around at the arena he was walking away from, as a massive rumbling was heard. "Probably just Rydia smashing Jeane's face in some more." Edge said, smiling. "Now, about that bet." "Okay, okay. You win. You managed to pull off something more memorable than I did, this week." Yuri said, shrugging. "Guess Zidane can't keep attention long enough to press a bu-" A massive roar was heard from the arena behind them, and both Yuri and Edge sprinted over to the arena. In time to watch the entire arena floor turn to a mass of mud, carrying a Rydia and Jeane, both brawling with each other on the floor, 20 feet through the air down to the lower arena. To land directly ontop of a muddy Lilly. "Wh...what...what the hell was...that, Yuri?" Edge said, stunned. "...he...how...how did he...he pressed it at the right time?" Yuri said, staring down as Lilly shrieked angrily and slugged Rydia in the face. "Lexis...Lexis designed that as a test model. He'll experiment with anything, and he really liked mudpits." Yuri said, dumbfounded. "Him and Cid. The one with the raincoat. They said something about it being the ultimate fusion between Lexis' technology and Magitek or something: A Mud Beam, capable of turning solid stone to mud. With a satellite linkup and targetting system. Press a button, everything from the sky to the ground gets turned to mud." "...What the hell is wrong with you!? You gave Zidane that!" Edge said, hauling Yuri around by the arm. "You don't understand. They trapped it six ways to hell, and made it only possible to be used if a button was pressed when two green lights light at the same time. They said it was a millionth of a second, that no human could ever press it. They designed some machine to do the pressing." Yuri said, shrugging. "I got it out of Lexis when I said it was to hurt Zidane. I expected him to burst into flames or something and leave me alone." "..." Edge said exceptionally loudly, his jaw dropping open. "...Let's...go...find Zidane." "...Yeah, let's." Yuri said. --- "Heeheheh. Shiny. Sparkly. Lights." Zidane said, staring down at the controller and pressing the button occasionally. "...He...went...insane from the effort." Yuri noted, as the drooling Zidane stared down at the controller, totally oblivious to the (now half-naked) women wrestling in mud, as a massive crowd watched. And continued pressing the button. Somehow, exactly as the two green lights lit up, each time. "...I guess." Edge said. "...Well, damn. I guess I don't have to pay off after all. Handy." Yuri said, stretching out in a seat. "Guess I win after all, though, eh, Edge?" Alice Elliot: 26 Lilly Pendragon: 27 CmdrKing This is a pretty straightforward match, as Middle goes. Lots of healing and swordtrusting and panties. Alice won. Of course, if you read that description, you would imagine every male in the DL would be trying to find some way to spy in and cause mayhem. And in fact they did. Unfortunately for them, they forgot that Alice is the lover of one Yuri Hyuga. Sure, he may joke around with the pervs and losers because, hey, they have some points, but he sure as hell isn't going to let them have a peep at his woman. It'd be hard to say which perv got the worst beating out of this. Edge Eblan managed to be on the recieving end of a Demon Ray, although he actually didn't have any particular plans, since he was busy trying to stalk Tethe'allan summoner Sheena. Of course, this isn't to say Sheena doesn't owe Yuri one now. Zidane Tribal, who apparently thought he'd steal Alice's cotton underpants before the match, wasn't found for nearly a week. Or more properly, the singed and diced pieces weren't assembled properly for nearly a week. Sheena Lepant required about a month of reconstructive surgery to fish his nose from his brain. Zelos Wilder, most unfortunately, had planned ahead with a supply of Soul Gems he'd bought off a very amused looking Rei, so after soaking up most of Yuri's MP worth in For the Chilren, he still had some strength to fire off the Creamonade. Of course, Sheena Fujibayashi, all to happy to annoy Zelos even if Yuri hadn't scared off Edge, used Sylph to make a minor... course correction to the whipped and sugary blast... Actually, I think it's very safe to say Zelos is rather easily the biggest loser this week. People might have even felt sorry for him, if they weren't just as mentally scarred by the results. T.G. Nevareh Alice Elliot is in Middle? Who did THAT? She's, in my opinion, the second most powerful member of the Shadow Hearts cast! She could do hideous damage with Advent and her stat boost spells enabled her to remain terrifically useful even with Yuri in the party! Lilly might smack things really hard with a Rapier, but Alice's respectable stats, reasonable (though hard to pull off) damage with her books, and the fact that she can heal herself until kingdom come due to her nigh-endless MP kind of makes this a bit simple. She isn't the most damage-able of the Shadow Hearts cast, but one on one she could probably take anyone who wasn't Yuri. Lilly was inspiring, but when she got kidnapped by a dark sorcerer (which, admittedly, happened to her when she was very young), she didn't have the guts to make fun of him to his face while being tortured ("But you're the sexiest!" said Alice to Deuhai) and that she had to travel everywhere with her servants doesn't mark well in her favor, either. Plus there's the fact that Alice stood on her own for a bit without some hero to latch onto and ride with. As a final straw, Advent gives you a panty-shot. No one can stand up to the Holy Death From Above With A Panty Shot Included. Just ask all the Sailor Moon villains.

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