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Juan (Suikoden III) |
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Maybe Juan's penchant for sleeping in the middle of a duel to the death is justified. The quality of opponents he's faced so far hasn't shown otherwise. And as he faces the gunslinger Balk, it seems that this trend is going to continue for at least one more round. Balk may be legendary for his speed and surprising defenses, but the one thing is Blast Gun is simply no good at is inflicting damage. Its feeble attempts at electrocuting Juan to death will do nothing more than awaken his anger. And Balk will quickly find that an angry Juan is only slightly more palatable to him than lightning immunity - and substantially more painful! |
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What else could one who has transcended humanity expect from mortal foes? Feeble Fire Emblem PCs are no match for the power this mighty engineer's Blast Gun, and as such, why should a lazy martial artist who can't even wake up in time for the match to begin be any different? After all, fists are a close-range weapon, so he can just fire from a distance, and before this worthless kid can reach him, he'll be shot so many times that he'll wish he were still dreaming! And should he get close, the high defenses of this transcended mortal combined with Move HP Up will let him last a while. A simple match for a skilled warrior. |
SageAcrin The horrors of machinery. A fist fighter, attempting to struggle against the flow of bullets, needing only one good punch to lay low his opponent, as his cruel adversary laughs, calling down heaven's thunder with each lethal shot. The horrified cries of the crowd, as the noble fighter falls, covered in blood, singed, defeated. The evil laughter of the cruel engineer, master of ancient technology, ringing out in the arena. That's how you'd think this would go, wouldn't you? --- Balk stared down at his gun, stunned. "But...but that doesn't happen!" He shrieked, as he aimed it at Juan again. To another hollow click. Juan snored peacefully, his hair cheerily blazing, his entire body covered in a layer of ash. Juan had reached a new level of power, from special training with Snorlax, that Balk could only dream of. As Juan snoozed peacefully, Balk realized the true horror of fighting someone too lazy to die. Shrieking in rage, Balk ran out of the arena, leaving Juan the victor. However, this terrible technique comes at a price. As Juan learned when he woke up bald, covered with floor wax(Evidently the waxers are automated and didn't notice him.), and with various scribbles all over his body. Only later did he find the pictures of himself sleeping peacefully in random Duelling League women's arms. Sadly, it was too late to undo his sealing of the dangerous technique, that of being Too Lazy To Die. Juan: 50 |
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