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Colm (Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones) |
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A small and scrawny thief against a giant berserking powerhouse… it's the sort of match that is almost enough to make you cringe in anticipation of the beating that's about to get handed out, isn't it? But, as odd as it might seem to the casual observer, those in the know aren't putting their money on the raging nut-job for this fight, but rather the small guy with the even smaller knife. See, Minsc might be some kind of physical monster with the power to bend iron with his bare hands, but Colm is faster then the proverbial greased lightning, and he certainly won't be sitting still long enough for Minsc to actually land any of those punishing attacks that he's known for. Of course, in return for his effort, the hamster keeper will pay for each and every attack he attempts, as Colm's counters certainly aren't known for missing their mark, even against evasive foes. Furthermore, while his normal attacks aren’t the most impressive, sooner or later, he will land a critical hit, the sort of decisive blow that’s needed to bring the big man tumbling down. In the end, its pretty clear that Colm will once more prove the validity of some age old wisdom: speed and precision will trump brute force every time and the bigger they are, the harder they fall. |
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Butt kicking for goodness! Minsc is back, and his pride as a ranger of Rashemen will not be sullied again! After all, the only reason he lost last time was that his opponent was the magical girl Elly, and as Boo tells him, it’s just not right to hit a girl! Against Colm though, a dirty, stinking thief, Minsc will have no qualms about bringing to bear the full might of his berserker rage, twisting and tying Colm into knots until Neimi begs him to stop. Sure, the thief may be a bit fast and a little evasive, but Minsc is accurate enough to bring his blade down on evil’s head with both eyes closed and a hand behind his back, powerful enough to make even the fiends of hell quake in their wee little booties and big enough to practically break Colm’s little knives upon his giant frame. Even the normally devastating criticals of Fire Emblem are useless in the face of a simple, critical preventing helm. And, of course, we haven’t even discussed his ranger spells, the legendary Boo or the fact that his sword is at least 60 times larger than Colm’s. Aside from praying that Neimi’s pure-hearted tears can move the ranger or Boo, Colm has just one other choice… Jump on his sword while you can, Colm, for Minsc shall not be as gentle! |
AndrewRogue The fight had pretty much been going as expected. It was barely five minutes in, and already poor Colm had fallen into the grips of Minsc’s mighty berserker rage. “You had best cry uncle, you stinkin’ thief, or I’m going to turn you into a pretzel!” the giant man bellowed, squeezing the slim man in his gorilla like arms, crushing him against his plate mail armor. “Squeak!” Boo added, presumably supplementing the ranger’s threat. “I… think… I would… if you… let go…” Colm gasped, struggling to writhe free. “Argh… I… really… liked… my spine…” He struggled to at least get his knife somewhere where he could stab the man. Of course, those efforts stopped short as Minsc somehow managed to squeeze harder, illiciting a cry of pain. “I’m… gonna… die…” It was lucky for him that Neimi was sitting so close to the arena, watching her beloved in action. Watching as his body bent at awkward angles in the arms of the strongman, it was no wonder she could barely contain herself, tears streaming down as she began to bawl. “Please, stop hurting Colm!” Shocked at the sound of the young woman’s voice, Minsc dropped the thief, the fall temporarily stunning Colm. “Boo, what have we done?” Minsc bellowed, looking out on the poor pink haired girl in the audience. “We… we have made this innocent girl cry great big tears by crushing this thief. What have we done, Boo?” “Squeak!” “You are right, Boo!” Minsc said, pulling himself upright, his expression contorted with the sorrow that only the loopy ranger could feel. “Be not sad, girl, for Boo is right! I cannot win if it would make an innocent girl cry tears girly tears! My goodness demands it!” Colm couldn’t believe it from his vantage point on the floor, especially as the man and his hamster left the arena, holding back (righteous?) tears of his own. He’d… won? Despite the fact that the crazy bastard had been beating him stupid? All because of the cry baby had… well… cried? Waiting slowly for his breath to come back, he let a small smile flit across his lips. He’d have to do something nice for her. Colm: 25 CO Raven
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