Season 55, Week 3
Elly van Houten
(Xenogears)
 
Lunar Rod? Check. Oh, hey, that's all Elhaym really needs to win this match! Nothing Rikku can do really matters if she's asleep, does it? To add insult to injury, Rikku's speed edge won't even allow her to land a status with her suspect status attacks: Elhaym'll be able to counter with statusblocking. No complicated measures or schemes necessary here. In the end, this match will be quite simple. Dreadfully simple: Elly will beat some narcolepsy into Rikku and proceed to the next round. The biggest question here is not if Elly will win this match, but how she will win. After all, there's a plethora of different moves available to her, all equally brutal and more than capable of downing the Al Bhed. Now, which one would look the most impressive...

V

S

While Rikku might like to pick Elly’s brain over the many types of machinery her world boasts, she instead must face her mano a mano. Or mujer a mujer, as it were. While Elly’s Lunar Rod may be the bane of many foes, the ever optimistic Rikku isn’t one to give up easily. After all, if she can get access to common items, she can use a Petrify Grenade or a Farplane Shadow in combination with her massive speed advantage to status Elly out before the contact even has a chance to strike! Wouldn’t that be giving Elly her just desserts! Of course, if she can’t get her hands on those items…well, this is where being an optimist comes in! Rikku is sure she’ll think of something; if not, at least she enjoys napping a lot, really. That, and maybe she can wake up in time...


SageAcrin
Bonk.

Bonk bonk.

Bonk.

Bonk bonk bonk.

Bonk.

---

"I...this idea sounded so much better in my head." Elhaym sighed, smacking the barrel in front of her once again.

Rikku had challenged her to the most noblest of pursuits, a keg-splitting contest.

Why keg-splitting?

Well, she ran through contests until she found one the judge hadn't heard of done in the DL before.

Regardless, Elly had agreed.

Rikku, confident, prepared explosives.

Elly bonked her on the head with her Lunar Rod.

And now was working on the keg. Very slowly.

It turns out that a stick wielded by a skinny girl doesn't actually split kegs that well, impressive martial arts techniques notwithstanding.

And, naturally, the keg was magic resistant. Of course it would be, it was gotten from a local bar.

(What kind of bar in the Duelling League wouldn't have kegs that resist magic, be constructed as well as possible, and have a missile self-defense system? Naturally, the last was off for the contest.)

And so, five hours later, Elly got to go home after chipping a deep enough groove in her barrel.

As Rikku snored.

Loudly.

The entire time.

Elly van Houten: 34
Rikku: 20

Ageant
I feel bad for Rikku, she might be optimistic, but like Thom Yorke has shown, that can still lead to depressing things.