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Joachim Valentine (Shadow Hearts: Covenant ) |
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When the forces of darkness descend: in the name of Justice, this fist! In the name of Truth, these muscles! In the name of Beauty, this butt! Champion of Truth and Justice, Grand Papillon, ready to fight all evildoers! Even the will of St. Ajora will be no match for Joachim Valentine, the greatest pro-wrestling vampire the world has ever seen! Alma's Healing Staff thwacks will do no harm Joachim's rippling and sexy muscles (indeed, they'll make him even stronger!), and her clerical skills will mean nothing when the Great Gama's protege puts the Nautilus through her puny head, then gives her a Grand Slam out to Saturn. Evildoers beware: not even the heart of a devil will save you from the Justice you so rightly deserve to be beaten with! |
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You wouldn't expect a sweet abbey girl to be an utter tank. You also wouldn't expect a sweet abbey girl to thwack a vampire to death with a staff, but that's what's about to happen in this match. Alma Beoulve, Ivalice's forgotten heroine, is finally back, and she's ready to relive an ancient feud that dates from a time before the RPGDL: she wants to meet Bowman Jean! Her first obstacle is Joachim Valentine, the corny vampire superhero with rippling muscles of manly death. With her powerful array of defensive skills to keep her alive and her status immunity to take care of Joachim's instant death skill, it's just a matter of outslugging the masked, fanged hero wannabe - something Alma can do with ease. Joachythms have nothing on the tankishness of a sweet abbey girl. |
AAA You'd think an upstanding Superhero/Pro wrestler such as Joachim would be somewhat restrained in defeating a young girl, especially one as demure and innocent as Alma. However, Joachim is rather fond of FFT's plot. Apparently Superhero's make exceptions for young girls that are the reincarnation of a false prophet that nearly brought about the apocolypse and can transform into, well, Satan. As Alma fell under a barrage of attacks by our masked hero, we truly realize indeed what a real hero can do. Joachim Valentine: 30 |
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