Season 37, Week 3
Raven
(Fire Emblem: The Blazing Sword)
 
What in Elibe does this undead engineer named Balk Fenzol have against Fire Emblem, anyway? Nino, Heath, Lyn, Franz, and now Raven. Does the man have a death wish, invoking the wrath of the RPGDL's two largest armies this side of Suikoden? Certainly seems like it. Unfortunately for Balk, the Hero Raven, a fleet-footed swordsman, is far more in the mold of Lyn, Balk's most recent slayer, than he is in that of the other three. With the speed to avoid any doubleturns, Raven will have no problem dispatching Balk with his powerful and accurate swordwork, scoring another win for his cast against this pesky burr. Maybe after this match, Balk will turn his guns on the RPGDL schedulers, instead.

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Balk's a surprisingly popular person around the league of late with his ability to slay Fire Emblem middles at will. A small army of supporters has gathered to see his latest attempt to off another obnoxious member of the FE team. Balk's ability to avoid counters, hit 100% of the times, and strike at RES are just the things to give a fighter like Raven nightmares. In addition, Balk's speed and feather mantle prevent Raven from closing in with his usual strategy of pounding your face in with doubles. A few gunshots will fix Raven in a hurry. Having regeneration and good defenses just seals the deal. Balk's engineering another attempt at the finals, and a mere moral like Raven's not going to stop him.


SageAcrin
A gun is a mighty weapon indeed.

But how does it fit into the Fire Emblem weapon triangle?

Well, here's how.

First, we have the gun weapon triangle, wherein machine guns beat pistols, but in turn use their superior range to bring down shotgun-wielders.

Now, shotguns themselves defeat fliers, so obviously a shotgun is equivalent to a Fire Emblem bow.

Meanwhile, this leaves us with machine guns, which beat the standard weapon-pistols. So, one might say they're the equivalent to a spear, and pistols are equivalent to a sword.

Perhaps it's little wonder that, all of this, Balk discovered the fourth, hidden part of the...rectangle...of machine weaponry. After all, we already have bows, swords and spears. This leaves only one weapon-equivalent!

Therefore, clearly, Balk hit Raven in the face with a rocket launcher really hard.

Raven: 29
Balk Fenzol: 48

Orson Carola
The bad news: Balk gets another FE fighter he can beat (I wouldn't know, I never played FFT). The good news: he isn't getting a FE fighter next week, regardless of who wins.