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Ramirez vs Ryu
Twilkitri Ramirez can kill Ryu instantly. That's okay, because Ryu gets to change into his status-resistant dragons instantaneously no matter how fast the opponent is. It's just a shame that Ramirez kills him regardless... If only Ryu didn't need his friends to be able to call upon the power of Agni. Better luck next year, Ryu. Ramirez: 39 Lance
Seymour vs Lamington
Dark Holy Elf Seymour is a powerful man, and when you're a powerful man in the DL, you make enemies. Sometimes very powerful enemies. In Seymour's case, he made an enemy out of Kefka. Oh yes. The insane clown most certainly IS one to hold grudges. When is the last time anyone who beat him had good luck thereafter? Choko? Lost in the finals after beating Kefka, and has since come to be seen as a low Godlike. Freya? Hasn't won since Season 4. Ash Lambert? One win since beating Kefka in Season 8. Zophar? Mysteriously drew Godlike's most famed mage-killer in his next season. Coincidences? Kefka might have you think so, but most everyone in the DL knows better. Unfortunately, Kefka wasn't able to slander his opponent's abilities, nor rig the draw again him, in the case of Seymour. What he DID do, however, was "convince" Wakka to hit Seymour with a stray blitzball at the start of his match with Lamington. None of the judges thought anything of it; after all, it wasn't the first time something harmless (tomatoes would be the classic example) was pelted at a Godlike. Normally the Godlike would murder anyone foolish to do this in response, but since Wakka brought a Fireproof armguard to the match there really wasn't much Seymour could do to him. Hey, nobody said Seymour had variety. What nobody present immediately realised was that Wakka's attack had actually been an Armour Break, a skill Wakka picked up during his time training with Auron. However, people figured it out pretty quickly, when Lamington used his Judgement attack against the ice-weak Seymour, expecting it to be mostly be laughed off by the tankish Maester. Instead... well, the clerics are still looking for frozen fragments of Unsent scattered around the arena after the Seraph's trademark move near vapourised his foe in a single blow. Seymour was eventually awarded the win due to outside interference... but really, this is win/win as far as Kefka is concerned. He got to see Seymour die a (yet another) painful death, and gets to think up a whole new scheme for Seymour's match next week. Seymour: 39 
Asgard vs Bosch
CmdrKing Cosmic balance is a powerful thing. It makes one man weep, and another man sing. Take our hearts, like a little white dove. Actually, that's the Power of Love, and since neither of these two are Flonne, it's probably not a factor in this match. Cosmic Balance, though, is. See, Bosch lost constantly to dragon-boys. If you'll recall Sheltar before one of them showed up, Bosch was rather insanely dominant. For a few hours, Bosch looked unstoppable. The same could be applied here. Clearly Asgard showed up a little too early. Asgard: 19 
Fei Fong Wong vs Albedo
CmdrKing Albedo takes insanity to some level little explored by mankind. It is, in almost every way, the real source of his power. Sure, sure, the ability to regrow your head (or whatever body parts you happen to lose) doesn't hurt, but it's that inner madness that lets him do anything besides parlor tricks in battle. Unfortunately for our pedophalic friend, Fei set a few new definitions for the word crazy. But not only is he crazier, he managed to incorporate so many forms of insanity that he actually seems totally sane. If you look at this as a sort of Budhistic parallel, Albedo would be akin to having read every book in existance, having, on some techinical level anyway, perfect knowledge. Fei, meanwhile, would be closer to Buddah; he does not just have knowledge, he has understanding. And without understanding, knowledge is useless. So, in essence, all Albedo's madness has the approximate combative value of throwing a snowball, compared to Fei throwing, say, a boulder. I dunno about you, but last I checked it was boulders that smashed the coyote, not a snowball. Fei Fong Wong: 40 Sei
Thepanda
hellopatrickstard00d@yahoo.com
Feena vs Celia
Sei Being a demon and all, Celia decided to employ some scare tactics before the start of the match. "I warn you, thousands have died because of me," she told Feena while raising her hands in a subtle yet threatening manner, "and many more have suffered after I helped corrupt a Marquis and helped send a land in turmoil." "My Lord is a false prophet that promised paradise, but only caused endless wars in his name." she continued while staring at the adventurer with inhuman eyes. "Tell me, do you truly wish to face one such as me." she finished while her gaze drilled deep into her opponent's soul. Feena looked back, unimpressed. "I slept with Justin and bore his children." There was a slight pause as the Ultima Demon processed this bit of information and let her over-active imagination run with it. Her face twisted this way and that as her eye twitched. Finally, her brain snapped, and she ran away while screaming 'scary whip sex demon' in many different tongues. And thus began Feena's slow trek back to Godlike. Feena: 36 CmdrKing
General Leo vs Lulu
Dark Holy Elf Poor General Leo. Killed once by Kefka. Killed again by Alys. Then killed about a dozen times with Lulu's Death spell when he foolishly let her get an Overdrive. Sure, he may live in a world with easy resurrection, but that doesn't stop him from now having a strong phobia of death. Can you really blame him? General Leo: 28 Dunefar
metroid composite
Zapdos vs Ephraim
Twilkitri Ephraim makes a nice target for Zapdos' Thunder, standing there with his metal spear in the middle of an empty arena. It's too bad for the overgrown chicken that the Siegmund has a reputation for overkilling all but the most resilient monsters. And the Pocket Monster is hardly the Durability King. One Zapdos shish kebab, coming right up. Zapdos: 18 random d00d
Presea Combatir vs Serge
RadLink5 If you don't vote Presea, you have never read the Tortoise and the Hare. Presea Combatir: 29 Lance
Dunefar
CmdrKing
Grand Master vs Lilka Eleniak
Dunefar It's an unstated rule of martial arts - the stranger the weapon, the more potent it's wielder. Therefore, Grand Master is rather mundane and weak. Any clod can use his fists or nunchucks to lay down the kung fu fighting. Lilka? An umbrella? Holy crap, she must be a real grand master! So it was a sad day when Hypered, Quickened Lilka pounded Grand Master into the pavement. But don't worry, the school of umbrella arts is always taking new members. Next time - Grand Master, Parasol Champion! Grand Master: 20 
Alice Elliot vs Lilly Pendragon
SageAcrin "It's all your fault, and I demand you pay my medical bills and therapy!" Zidane yelled in Yuri's face. "Look. I keep telling you, if Zelos did something stupid, it's his fault. If Edge threw a smoke bomb that made Zelos do something stupid, as you say he did, it's still Zelos' fault. I don't get where the hell you say this is my fault from, though." Yuri said, shrugging and shoving Zidane out of his way. "Ow! Hey, that's my broken arm." Zidane said, as he fell rather hard up against a stone wall. "Zelos is still in a coma, and I can't find Edge anywhere. And you were seen sitting with him. So pay up!" "...Did you get a head injury or something?" Yuri said, smiling down at Zidane's bandaged head. "Oh, right, you did. Anyhow, just because I was sitting with someone doesn't make anything my fault. Now leave me alone." Yuri said, shouldering past again. "Ha! I'll make you sorry! I'll steal everything you own!" Zidane yelled after Yuri angrily. Yuri stopped in his tracks, then turned around. While Zidane wasn't the brightest bulb even when he hadn't had his head smashed by a randy unicorn, he was, however, a rather good thief. Enough so that beating him to a pulp over and over again to get his stuff back might just be a nuisance to Yuri. "Hmph. How about a bet?" Yuri said. "Bet?" "You know Alice and Lilly are fighting today, right?" "Yes, I got the first tickets." Zidane said, smirking. "How long did you camp out to...never mind. Listen. If you can pull this off, I'll pay your medical bills and pay for a massage for you. If not, we call it off. Deal?" "Deal!" Zidane said, shaking Yuri's hand. "But you hav...never mind." Yuri said, shaking his head... --- "So, all I have to do is press this button at the right time?" Zidane said, looking at a small switch in Yuri's hands. "That's right. Hit the enabler, then press the second button. Just make sure you only press it when this indicator and this one are green at the same time." Yuri said, handing the button to him. "And that opens the mudpit?" Zidane said, drooling slightly. "Well, yes, if you hit it at exactly the right time. Just don't screw up, okay?" Yuri said, walking off. "If you need me, I'll be watching Big Joe fight Mystina, okay?" "Won't need you at all, this is easy." Zidane said, staring down at the buttons. "Let's see...enabler...may as well press it." Zidane said, flicking a switch. "...Hmmm, he didn't say these lights would be going so fast, though." He added, watching the two series of LED lights on the sides of the switch rapidly go up and down. "Or that only one light of 25 was green. Still, it shouldn't be a problem for someone with reflexes as good as mine!" --- A furious battle raged. Sword met...bible...in a furious battle. Needless to say, Alice was mostly relying on her magic. But you have to block sometimes. At any rate, the battle was surprisingly close, and both combatents were getting exhausted, though in different ways. Alice was mentally tired, while Lilly had taken repeated blows and was wearing out. Suddenly, a massive roar was heard in the arena above, distracting Alice for a fatal moment. The hilt of Lilly's rapier smashed into Alice's forehead, knocking her half a dozen feet and leaving her dazed. As Lilly triumphantly cut in for the kill, a second, louder roar, was heard. And as the crowd watched, rubble fell on Lilly, knocking her off her feet, as a massive shaft of light smashed through the ceiling to finally diffuse in a huge explosion against one wall. The battle seemed over. Neither seemed able to win, so the simple thing was to call it based on who had went down first: Namely Alice. However... "Just press it. Be one with the light. The light and I are one with lights and shinies and sparklies." Zidane chanted dazedly, totally oblivious to what was going on in the arena. "Lights...press....NOW!" Zidane yelled (Confusing the people in the seats next to him.) and jammed down on the button. And a massive shaft of light pierced the center of the arena. --- "What the hell was that, anyways?" Yuri said, turning back around at the arena he was walking away from, as a massive rumbling was heard. "Probably just Rydia smashing Jeane's face in some more." Edge said, smiling. "Now, about that bet." "Okay, okay. You win. You managed to pull off something more memorable than I did, this week." Yuri said, shrugging. "Guess Zidane can't keep attention long enough to press a bu-" A massive roar was heard from the arena behind them, and both Yuri and Edge sprinted over to the arena. In time to watch the entire arena floor turn to a mass of mud, carrying a Rydia and Jeane, both brawling with each other on the floor, 20 feet through the air down to the lower arena. To land directly ontop of a muddy Lilly. "Wh...what...what the hell was...that, Yuri?" Edge said, stunned. "...he...how...how did he...he pressed it at the right time?" Yuri said, staring down as Lilly shrieked angrily and slugged Rydia in the face. "Lexis...Lexis designed that as a test model. He'll experiment with anything, and he really liked mudpits." Yuri said, dumbfounded. "Him and Cid. The one with the raincoat. They said something about it being the ultimate fusion between Lexis' technology and Magitek or something: A Mud Beam, capable of turning solid stone to mud. With a satellite linkup and targetting system. Press a button, everything from the sky to the ground gets turned to mud." "...What the hell is wrong with you!? You gave Zidane that!" Edge said, hauling Yuri around by the arm. "You don't understand. They trapped it six ways to hell, and made it only possible to be used if a button was pressed when two green lights light at the same time. They said it was a millionth of a second, that no human could ever press it. They designed some machine to do the pressing." Yuri said, shrugging. "I got it out of Lexis when I said it was to hurt Zidane. I expected him to burst into flames or something and leave me alone." "..." Edge said exceptionally loudly, his jaw dropping open. "...Let's...go...find Zidane." "...Yeah, let's." Yuri said. --- "Heeheheh. Shiny. Sparkly. Lights." Zidane said, staring down at the controller and pressing the button occasionally. "...He...went...insane from the effort." Yuri noted, as the drooling Zidane stared down at the controller, totally oblivious to the (now half-naked) women wrestling in mud, as a massive crowd watched. And continued pressing the button. Somehow, exactly as the two green lights lit up, each time. "...I guess." Edge said. "...Well, damn. I guess I don't have to pay off after all. Handy." Yuri said, stretching out in a seat. "Guess I win after all, though, eh, Edge?" Alice Elliot: 26 CmdrKing
T.G. Nevareh
Marle (Nadia Guardia) vs Reinbach III, Scholtenheim
Joou Ranbu Marle, despite her tomboyish appeal, is a nice person all in all. When she heard about her fight against Schtolteheim Reinbach III, the princess of Guardia thought as hard as she could for a good trinket to give the noble before the fight, to wish him good luck. However, Marle isn't incredibly bright. After two sleepless nights, she decided to ask for help giving a gift. The only person who could help her was her trusted chancellor - maybe he would have a nice idea. However, for the third time that month, the chancellor was replaced by Yakra, who just doesn't seem to give up. The chancellor/Yakra, when asked for an idea for a gift (Marle airheadedly forgetting to mention who would receive the gift), gleamed, and recommended the princess a nice, greasy Turkey, thinking she'd give her father a little present. Before the match, then, Marle smiled to Reinbach and gently gave him a package. "I hope you like it - someone said it's your favourite!" Reinbach opened the package, and screamed in horror. "HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING LIKE THIS? I HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL!" Reinbach left the arena in contempt, which gave a confused Marle the win. However, Reinbach never left his DL cabin. All flowers sent by Marle as an apology have been returned since. Marle (Nadia Guardia): 42 CmdrKing
Adray Lasbard vs Jeane
superaielman -Before the match- Adray eyed the young man ashew. "This will really work? Women with high grade magic and myself don't mix well.." "It'll work fine, geezer! Just do as I say.." Edge's grin certainly didn't set Adray at ease, but considering his options... --- Edge stood in the crowd, shrugging. Jeane and the old perv were just jawing before the match. Looked like things were working out well. Jeane was seeting, and Adray was blustering up to his big finale.. "Oh yeah?! Your so called damage? I laugh at it! I bet it can't even knock out the likes of EDGE!" The arena went deadly silent at the sound of that. It's one thing to insult a mage's ability to take a hit, be properly dressed, have enough MP, or have a use. It's quite another to claim that they can't dispose of Edge "Die to a magical nosebleed" Eblan in a single strike. Looking around, Edge found himself suddenly surrounded by empty seats. Looking at the arena, he saw an enraged Jeane staring at him, and thunderclouds forming above his head. With nowhere to run and everything going according to plan, there were only four words that properly described Edge's mindset. "..I hope this works.." --- Rydia was across the arena. Why would Jeane leave her a note about sending a message? ..And why were people fleeing from a spot near the ring? Walking to get a better vantage point, she saw that it was her erstwhile boyfriend Edge standing alone, with a worried look on his face. The arena suddenly shook as if hit by a powerful attack. It was obvious where the attack had struck. The lighting bolt had utterly destroyed the area around Edge, and had struck down the ninja prince with pathetic ease. Rydia quickly ran over to Edge, along with medics of various stripes. The crowd was muttering. To the surprise of Rydia, instead of cheering at the frying of the pervert, the crowd was fully behind Edge. "She.. attacked him for no good reason?" Rydia's expression was as stunned as her voice. "...Yep..." Rydia whipped her head around, with the same dumbfounded look on her face. Amazingly, the bolt had not managed to kill Edge, or even knock him out for long. "Luckily... I had on a Gold Ring.. else I wouldn't be in one piece." Edge coughed weakly, and somehow found the energy to stand. Rydia's face was a mask of pure fury. "She did WHAT?!" Without another word, Rydia launched a Bahamut spell that utterly leveled anything in it's path, including Jeane, and the arena wall and floor behind Jeane. It was easy for Adray to land a light blow to finish off the rune mistress, after all that. --- Edge limped over to where a grinning Yuri was standing. "Mmph. Rydia and Jeane in a fight to the death, and not a drop of perversion occured. Let's call it even?" Noticing Yuri's smug nod, Edge smiled. "Come on. If we hurry up, we can go watch the cleaning crew scrape up what's left of Zidane." Adray Lasbard: 22 CmdrKing
Lance
Virginia Maxwell vs Koroku
Sei Normally, Virginia would have a hard time fighting Koroku, the little puppy that could. Normally. However, Maya had just told her in no small words that if she lost against that stupid mutt or took too long trying to get over her moral high horse that they arrive late for the play they were going to after her match, Virginia is sleeping on the couch for the next week. Faced with the threat that many a wife has wielded upon their spouse, Virginia had no choice but to punt the puppy out of the ring and straight to the nose-bleed sections. Virginia Maxwell: 46 
Flare vs Black Wizard
CmdrKing Through the history of the entire line for those that have succeeded the black mage, there has always been one question foremost on the minds of observers both distant and near: What lies under those robes and pointed cap? Thanks to certain... incidents, though, the Duelling League has found out. The horrors contained therein are too shocking to describe. Fortunately for Flare, however, she got generous amounts of whipped cream in her eyes in that same incident, and with even less protection than usual, a lucky arrow from the Princess felled the Wizard in a single blow. Which isn't to say she didn't suffer afterwords. But that's a tale for another day. Flare: 29 
Big Joe vs Mystina
SageAcrin Big Joe's past is a truly mysterious one. As, perhaps, is his future. Mystina entered the ring...to find no opponent. No word had reached the judges, no one knew where Big Joe was. However, as Mystina cursed about wasted time and considered setting people in the crowd alight as a release of anger, a bright flash of light slashed through the arena. And a note was now laying on the ground. "I remember my past. Now I shall protect the future. -Big Joe" Over the next several days, various incredible events happened. Lavos was found at the bottom of a frozen lake. Profound Darkness was sighted on a high orbit above the League(Mostly noted by the incredible shrieking, which could be heard even from that distance.). Later, on a second orbit, people noticed Dark Force tumbling after her. The Dark Queen, Endora was found with half her body slammed into a wall, in her dressing room. Oddly, the lower half was in the wall, though she was still very unconcious... Chaos was found screaming madly in his room for thirty minutes, without a scratch on him. He smashed his way through a dozen people before someone managed to sedate him. He awoke totally unable to remember the last two months. Deathevens and X-Death were found smashing each other to a pulp in a currently unused arena, screaming about how much pain they were going to cause Big Joe. Both eventually beat each other to exhaustion, and later stated that all they remembered was clashing with Big Joe for hours before they lapsed into unconciousness. Kefka, Ghaleon, Loki, and Albedo were found stripped naked and tied together on a bed, all evidently having suffered a bad beating, and all very concious... Genevieve, Royce, False Althena, and Altima were found in a similar position, the latter two mysteriously unable to transform for the next few days. However, they were, in fact, unconcious, and surrounded by a massive crowd sporting cameras, camcorders, and even one news camera. (Morte later was chewed out for this.) Albert Simon was found, amazingly, fully compressed into his bowler. Shizel was found in a closet, making out with Riou. (While the last was almost assuredly not related to Big Joe, this is certainly an amazing event. On many levels.) These were just some of the events that happened. Ultimately, though, all that's known for sure is that, twelve days after the match was schedueled, Big Joe showed up back in his rooms, complaining of a splitting headache. Did he truly forget himself again? Or does he simply enjoy leaving his opponents uncertain? No one knows. Big Joe: 10 
Lezard Valeth vs Opera Vectra
Dunefar "Hark, it is an omen! Heard the roar of the ashen depths! Feel the winds of ruination! My name is Lezard Valeth! If you know me, stand aside! If you do not know me, you will be made to know me! Bow before my name and yield!" Such words were shouted from one end of heaven to another, the skies of Expel quaking with the might of Lezard's magic! From Arlia to Lacour, the citizens wondered if the Sorcery Globe had returned to again destroy Expel! "Now, if you trust that your eternal bonds may be broken, then let my words be as a vengeful blade apon you! Let the great Levantine render you into nothingness!" A gigantic blade, black and with hideous red runes, begins to form over Lezard! What foul manner of sorcery is this?! The entire world of Expel is being brought to it's knees for one divine magic?! "As the harm...aaaah! No, I will not accept this...aaaah!" Arcane gestures and soaring words of power interrupted, Lezard faded away fromt he arena of Expel in a stream of glittering light. The Ragnarok Blade vanished from this world, the quivering of the earth ceased. Smiling viciously and lowering her gun, Opera smiled. "All I have to say is...bang, you're dead." Lezard Valeth: 26 Lance
T.G. Nevareh
Portentous Events Grefter A small excerpt of the long song. We went to the store, to pick up some chips And there we saw... MAGARET THATCHER'S UNDIES. There was nothing we could do, To fight the siren's call And nick those amazing undies. We put them on our heads To feel the silky smoothness Of her horrid fascist legs. MARGARET THATCHER'S UNDIES. We use them to conceal our faces, MARGARET THATCHER'S UNDIES. The closeness of our minds To the heart of darkness drives us to unpredictable actions MARGARET THATCHER'S UNDIES. They are mildly discomforting to wear. We escape from her repulsive regime As we take the nylon and put it on our heads So that we are completely faceless Like the ones before us. MARGARET THATCHER'S UNDIES. We took them from the line and wore them on our heads MARGARET THATCHER'S UNDIES. You do not know who we are, all that you can see is MARGARET THATCHER'S UNDIES. And so it goes. Unlimited Indy: 9 :*(: 14 Good Vibrations: 10 Spoken Word 4 Lyf G: 9 The Penis Represents Hitler: 16 |
