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Myria vs Loki
T.G. Nevareh Ahh, Myria Vs. Loki- a slugfest of two final bosses who have about as much subtlety as a very, very large explosion. They both traditionally sit back and rain lots and lots of very painful death upon heroes, both have some degree of secret aspect to them that can only be gained through a specific act of gameplay, and both have a specific story-weakness, without which they would otherwise be invincible. Myria can't deal with Real Ultimate Dragons and Loki can't deal with super-duper gods that transcend all barriers. Note they have to transcend all barriers- Odin was a super-duper god that didn't transcend all barriers, just some of them, and Loki smashed Odin into the ground. Myria is mostly unfazed by dragons who aren't Kaiser/Agni. If we all remember our Breath of Fire 4, we know that a Dragon and a god are the same thing, really. So both Loki and Myria have exactly the same weakness- Super-Powerful gods who are several times stronger than gods should be. And guess what both Loki and Myria are? Super-Powerful gods who are several times stronger than gods should be! So they're effectively weak against each other. Still, there is one thing you have to respect the vast majority of the more difficult Valkyrie Profile bosses for: They have Great Magic and use it as much as they like. Great Magic is, of course, way too strong, and it's the closest that Valkyrie Profile bosses get to having a Purify Weird Soul attack. Loki has all of this in addition to having Absurdly High Defense... which doesn't matter since his magic defense is much lower and Myria attacks for the most part using magic, anyways. They both have strengths that overcome their opponent's weaknesses, they're both weak to their opponent's strengths, they're both gods of incredible power and skill, they both function as final bosses, and they both fight in the same way- by obliterating their opponents straight out as opposed to any other, more tactical approaches to the job. So, it's time for the technicality! Myria can't shrug off any of the dragons you throw at her. The one dragon you can throw at Loki doesn't hurt him at all. Dreaded Dragon is just as useless as any other physical PWS used against Loki that's not Nibelung Valesti with a Glance Reviver. Wait, I know! Loki has the Dragon Orb! If he were a super-duper god on his own, he'd be double Myria's weakness, but since he's only a mediocre god without the orb he's only about 1.5 times Myria's weakness. Plus Loki's a smart fella. He can probably think of a way to at least have the duel be a draw if he calls out his trickster-ishness. Or if he calls a bunch of lawyers and sues Myria, the judges, the RPGDL in general, the ground everything stands on, and anything else that he can think of to sue to get a win without actually having to fight. After all, if it comes to combat, you've clearly already lost your chance to wow them with your intellect and your charm, right? Myria: 29 
Dario vs Ryu
Eternalspirit Ryu has several choices in which to win this battle. He can go for a quick win with a Kaiser Dragon Bone Break, or he could tease Dario using any of his several dragon transformations and just pick off Dario slowly. So choices for Ryu are.. End poor Dario's miserable existence quickly with Bone Break and whatever subsequent attacks he needs to finish him off.. Or he could let Dario feel his pathetic failure to the deepest levels imagineable while being slowly tortured to death with whatever kind of attacks Ryu wishes to subdue him with. Dario.. well, technically he has two choices. One is to FAIL! FAIL FAIL FAIL! FAIL AND FAIL AGAIN! BECAUSE HE IS A FAILURE! In other words, try to beat Ryu with his pathetic attacks and FAIL! Or he could quit before the match even starts. Poor Dario.. he FAILS yet again.. it looks like he's destined to be a FAILURE in Godlike. (Yes, I hate Dario.) Dario: 4 
Sarevok vs Miguel
Grefter Glowing eyes go down well in the world of disco. Fishing waders do not. Victory to Sarevok and may his disco demi-god eyes burn brightly and bring terror in to the hearts of souls of the unelightened everywhere. Sarevok: 24 
Songi vs Jade
Grefter Godlike matches cause to much debris. Jade VS Songi was assigned as a Soul Calibur 3 match to save effort cleaning up (and to laugh at trying to watch Jade's try to use a controller in giant bug form). Jade picked Zasalamel since being lame, repetative and cheesey is pretty much his battle style. Songi picked Taki and just flipped out of the ring, like most bad Taki players do. Ring Out! This battle has strengthed the soul of. Jade. 2 new items available in the Weapon shop. Songi: 14
KOS-MOS vs Cristo
superaielman Cristo limped out of the arena, a broken man. Wave after wave of KOS-MOS's attacks had crushed his defenses and finally shattered his defensive shell. As he limped out, a laughing Zelos looked at him. "Some holy man you are. Beaten around by a cute girl. Have fun in your body cast, with that ugly princess!" Laughing, Zelos sheathed his sword and headed out to the arena. Cristo took one look at Zelos, murder in his eyes. "No one insults the princess.." KOS-MOS: 42 CmdrKing
Zelos Wilder vs Yuiri
superaielman Cristo limped over to a nearby Brey, and winced. "That fool insulted the princess. I have just the way to get him back. Teleport me to the arena." -- "Shion! Just came over to congratulate KOS-MOS on her victory in her duel. Probably need to make some repairs on KOS-MOS, her chest area took several sword strikes." Limping over to Alena, Cristo grinned. The princess was wearing a toga, with her stilleto earrings in hand. Grabbing a cup of water out of the hand of a nearby observer, Cristo threw the entire drink at Alena's front, soaking through the thin, light colored garment. "Princess, I apologize for that. Just stand there for a few minutes. I can assure you, it will be worthwhile." Bowing, Cristo turned around.. and saw Yumi and Yuiri touching and hugging each other. "No work needed there. Now to just wait for the pervert." --- Zelos was amazed by what he saw as he entered the arena. Yuiri was practically making out in the middle of the arena! Shion was grabbing at KOS-MOS's chest while the robot sat there, and Alena stood up, her figure clearly visible through her soaked dress. "The ladies apprecate me." Smiling, Zelos walked over to get a better look.. "Not so fast." In front of him stood Cristo, still beraggled and wounded from his fight with KOS-MOS. "You insulted my religion and the princess, and have a long history of general perversion in the arena. Your crimes are many, Chosen, and only one punishment fits." "Out of my way, loser." Zelos pushed past Cristo, when he felt.. a stinging sensasion surge through his body. Shrugging, he pushed the chancellor out of the way, easily knocking him to the ground. Looking for a better view.. Oh, he saw things perfectly. Shion was repairing KOS-MOS's wounds from her battle, Yumi was wishing her best friend good luck for her battle, and Alena was drying off the front of her shirt. Nothing slightly dirty or perverted. "..Yo..you.. bastard!" Turning around, Zelos stared at Cristo with no small amount of fury. "You stole my touch with the ladies!" "To be more.. precise, I sealed your sense of sexuaility, and thus, perversion. You will gain no joy from the memories of this event, and will miss out on countless chances at perversion until the spell wears off. Have fun." Zelos's shrieking protests to the judges brought forth a quick and decisive reaction. "Don't care." Indaleico seemed bored by the entire matter, and not inclined to change his mind. "Didn't interfere with your ability to fight." Hrist's apathy was overwhelming. "You get what you deserve, you substandard pervert." A smirking Edge stood in front of Zelos, with a video camera recording the events in the arena. "Shut up and fight before we let Indaleico vent his boredom on you." --- Zelos slaughtered Yuiri with a chain of quick slashes, not even pausing once to offer a smarmy word or a dirty comment. With his focus on the fight, Zelos was truly a fearsome warrior, and more than the Alma Kinan archer could deal with. This didn't mean he wasn't the most miserable winner in the history of the duelling league. Zelos Wilder: 28 CmdrKing
LegendaryCountryBoy
Saki Inugami vs Guy
CmdrKing The combat prowess of the Harmonixer is the thing of legends, even on the distant plains of Sacae. Guy's excitment at the prospect of testing one in battle was immesurable. Of course, what he didn't know was that they had more ways to fight than combat. Guy tends to be a bit blind about such concerns, as Matthew could tell you. As such, when the match began, Saki was ready with large traditional dancing fans and little else in the way of clothing. Guy tried to focus on battle. He really did. But every time he came close to connecting, Saki deflected the blow and continued dancing, seductive in the extreme. Eventually, his blade dulled to near-uselessness anyway, Guy gave up, sat down, and tried to enjoy the dance. At which point Saki adopted the form of Kouneki and gave him a beating he won't soon forget. Apparently she wanted to get leave a mark in case anyone had any ideas about getting a... private dance in the future. Leaving Guy's bones were liquified was probably a bit much, though. Saki Inugami: 30 
Jean vs Zeno
SageAcrin Perhaps it's a duelling league cliche at this point. When two cute girls fight it out in the league, perverts show up. It never fails. Well, until now. Amazingly, there wasn't a single remotely dirty-minded person around the ring. What could have caused this? A massive nuclear blast? A magical holocaust? All the perverts getting mindcontrolled into staying away? Voluntary growing up on their parts? Aliens abducting them? No, nothing so farfetched as any of that. It turns out that the women of Alma Kinnan, in their entirety, had visited the league to root for Yuiri, and several of them happened to talk to Jean afterwards. Who happened to voice some fears about said dirty minded scoundrels. Which is how every single pervert in the League who wasn't currently in a match at the time, or at least in a very public place... mysteriously ended up tied up and stuffed into a closet. Not the same closet...not all of them, anyways. They were largely unharmed. (Though Sheena Lepant had some choice things to say about Sten's grooming habits, and Zidane was seen on fire, with charred ropes around his body. Seems he got stuffed in Garr's closet somehow.) As it turns out, the girls are perhaps the only force in existance that can thwart the perverts entirely. Sadly, they like their forest home too much as a rule to hang around the arena. Jean's still getting polite letters extolling the virtues of tranquil forest living Alma Kinnan, though. And Zeno now has a summer home there. So maybe it's for the best that they don't hang around the arena too much, most of the girls in the league would probably live in Alma Kinnan now. Anyways, having said all that, the match was predictably boring and simple. Zeno's superior swordsmanship won out over Jean's martial dance form, and she went on to the next round. Perhaps the oddest thing is how little these events changed, even for this one match, though. The only difference is that a large amount of women were watching the match, but they were doing so as attentively as the guys would have. The only real difference was that the match didn't get wrecked, and Zeno will probably end up in a vat of chocolate and carmel mixed together, next week, anyways. Jean: 15
Lyon vs Sheela
SageAcrin Sheela is a random girl in scanty clothes. Lyon is a man obsessed with a woman he can't have. Lyon is possessed by a demon king. Demon kings like to kidnap scantily clad girls. Can you see where this is going? Well, sadly, Sheela didn't. At least, not until she woke from the blast of dark magic that had knocked her out, tied to a chair, with her hair dyed blue, wearing unfamiliar clothes... and with a goofily grinning Lyon sitting across from her. Sadly, this went downhill from there. Suffice it to say that Lyon's been happier than he has been in ages, and Sheela, after a mysterious several day absence, voluntarily institutionalized herself. Lyon: 27 
Legault vs Ernest Raviede
Sei Whips and hard, fast thrusts. Obviously, this match should be done in only one way! Unfortunately, a certain female Tetragene threatened to blow the heads of the judges (which included such greats as Selphie, Nina, and Jewel) off their shoulders, so you'll just have to settle for Legault beating the crap out of Ernest. Legault: 48 
Judecca vs Joachim Valentine
Grefter The aftermath of today's match is something that psychologists the world round will take great pride in for years to come. On one side, we have a psychotic maniac who carries around lots of guns, looooots of guns. The other, we have a gay vampire who bludgeons people to death with large objects. Being confronted with this Judecca's fragile mind shattered just that little bit more. What was he compensating for so much with all these guns? Why did it make him feel so odd to shoot this gay vampire walking around with that huge log? Oh sure, Judecca won, he shot that vampire up real good. Every grunt and groan just adding to the ... strangeness. Freud loves ya baby. Judecca: 28 
L'Arachel vs Gerik
Twilkitri Magical Girl L'Arachel obviously has the advantage in this fight. She has grace and beauty and honour. Along with speed and luck and punishing magical attacks and her own fan club and can attack Gerik out of range of his countering unless he uses the meh-tastic Hand Axe. What can Gerik do against all that? Unfortunately for L'Arachel, if she wants to use any of her good magic, she takes a hit to her speed. That's okay, because none of the spells she's allowed to use get him to double-attack her anyway, and she still has her massive luck to keep on evadin', especially if Gerik uses Axes, his best damage. Unfortunately for L'Arachel, she has the HP of a marshmallow. Gerik can kill her in two hits using the accurate Silver Sword. An Axe isn't high on his wishlist for this fight. But that's okay, because L'Arachel gets the first hit in, because she's on a horse. Further, she still has enough evade to make him hitting her difficult. ...Unfortunately for L'Arachel, since Gerik's not using axes, he had no qualms becoming his Forest Ranger form for this fight, evening out the movement. Further, the strength boost lets him kill her in two hits with the even more accurate Iron Sword. ...Well, at least her fan club will be able to visit her in hospital. ...but unfortunately for L'Arachel, Rennac is also going to be having a stay at hospital after this week... L'Arachel: 24
Jaffar vs Rennac
Mr. VSM The two men entered the arena and stared at each other, and though they were both agile knife fighters, their differences could not be any clearer. Rennac stood apparently at ease with his arms crossed and his head cocked to one side. Closer inspection would show that his nails were digging into the sides of his hands, and that his eyes were darting about nervously, as he measured up his opponent. Jaffar stood erect, with one hand resting on either of his knives. Though he was rigid, a trained eye would notice that he was at home in this stance, that any movement to break it would be fluid, efficient, and brutal. Rennac noticed, and he swallowed nervously. “Right, then,” he said. “I don’t suppose you want to settle this in some way other than fighting, eh? It’d be a shame if I damaged my… self.” “No,” was his response, and the other man was on him in a flash. Jaffar shot out his blades quickly, and though Rennac was a fool, he was hardly an idiot. The rogue pitched himself backward, and then into a sidelong roll as he drew his own knives, and he was on his feet in an instant, facing where Jaffar ought to have been. Instead, the assassin was in the same place where he had started, hands resting on his weapons, back in their sheaths. Rennac stared at him incredulously. “You didn’t think I could get away,” he said. Rennac realized that any follow-up attack was not where he had predicted, and he must have dodged it by accident. “No,” was the response, and it started again. This time Rennac was ready, and when the other man came forward with his left knife attacking for Rennac’s head, Rennac ducked the assault, pivoted, and moved both of his knives to where he figured Jaffar’s second weapon would no doubt go. Blocking a knife with a knife takes amazing precision, and Rennac was happily surprised when he realized he still had all of his fingers. This lasted only the smallest of moments, for he then turned his body around Jaffar’s, hoping to get at the other man’s back. Jaffar could think as fast as Rennac could, however, and had turned his own body to stab out at the rogue before the rogue could launch his own attack. Rennac haphazardly threw his body backwards, desperate to ignore getting hit by Jaffar’s weapons, but Jaffar pressed his attack faster, changing to a shoulder rush. The assassin’s body struck the rogue’s full on, and Rennac was pitched backwards into the dirt. One of his knives clearly flew from his hand. He screamed. “Augh!” He was lying awkwardly on the ground. “My back!” ”Already?” “Come on, man, help me up.” Jaffar paused a moment, then put his blades away and moved for the rogue. He offered one hand to the downed man. The surprise attack failed, largely because Jaffar had trained most of his life to be a sneaky machine of death, so when Rennac’s other hand, still holding his second knife, moved for Jaffar’s heart, he was able to catch it and move it around Rennac’s body, pulling up to dislocate the elbow and force his hand open. At the same time, Jaffar bent down and grabbed Rennac’s other knife. When these motions were complete, Jaffar stabbed Rennac’s own knife into his belly. Rennac screamed. It was a lot more convincing this time. The rogue fell to the ground, moving his lips oddly, as Jaffar pulled the knife free and made some sort of motion to the front row of the audience, perhaps to the nurses. He bent down alongside Rennac and examined him. “You’ll live,” Rennac heard, before fainting. Jaffar: 54 
Bolgan vs Jogurt
RadLink5 Borgan won't be hitting Jogurt very easily... and Jogurt won't be hurting Borgan at all... Borgan has to hit Jogurt eventually and win... right? Bolgan: 53 
Bartre vs Milon
Grefter Blah blah blah, could write some stuff about this. Bartre isn't that great, but Milon sucks. Like really really sucks. Axe to the face and all that nonsense applies I guess. Win with long range counters with Hand Axe or something, who cares. Milon blows. Bartre: 44 
Dario vs Snowe
Sei Sometimes, one wonders about the judge selection system of the DL. Take, for example, the case of Snowe vs Dario... ...where Millenia, Edea and Deneb took one look at the exceedingly good-looking nobleman, then took one look at the exceedingly horrifying pirate, then unanimously decided to torch Dario to the ground for the sake of humanity. Sheer randomness, bias, or just a silly sense of humor? Only the Powers That Be know. Dario: 5
Fear Me Not, But Fear My Hell Grefter WE OF THE GREAT BURNING IN TO THE GATES OF YOGSOTHOTH WE BURN CONSIDERED TAKING DOWN THESE PRETENDERS. TO MUCH EFFORT, WE HAD PRACTICE, FANS AND MORE SPLEEN EATING MUSIC TO PUT TOGETHER. INSTEAD WE BOUGHT SEIFER A BOTTLE OF TEQUILA, GAVE HIM SOME EYELINER AND LIPSTICK AND SENT HIM OUT TO DO THE JOB. NOT EVEN THE GREAT LUCCA COULD PREVENT THE VISION OF ANGST MASTER SEIFER DRESSING UP LIKE KUJA AND SINGING LINKIN PARK SONGS WHILE DRUNK FROM REMOVING THE ROBOTS WILL TO LIVE. OH GODS AND THEN THERE WAS THE RIDING CROP. GOOD GODS, THE RIDING CROP.... SADLY NEWS ARRIVED AT A LATER DATE THAT DESPITE THE ROBOTS BEING DESTROYED LUCCA'S MIND WAS NEVER FULLY RESTORED. OH WELL, ONE MORE MAD SCIENTIST I SUPPOSE. Revolution has come!: 13 Revolution will come!: 9 Revolution is dead!: 21 Thepanda
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