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Ryu vs Chaos
Sage Acrin A mighty dragon. A lord of darkness. What could go wrong in such a cliche battle? The answer is simple, though it requires a little knowledge of the arena structure. You see, Arenas are stacked one on top of another, rather like bowls stacked by someone that clearly wants them to shatter, with the final arena being open air. There are four of these stacks, placed in a 2x2 square adjacent to each other. Four Arenas to a stack. Obviously, it's about as practical to put this entire structure above ground as it would be to put it in the sky. (They were going to do that, but no one wanted to pay for it.) The bottom arena is underground. Chaos is a creature of chaos. But more importantly, he's a creature of massive cliches. To him, everything's simple. Knight? Stabs things, likes swords. Cake? Must be chocolate with vanilla frosting. Woman? Well, his opinion on women gets him slapped alot. Dragon? Must be firebreathing. So, as the battle started, Chaos cleverly unleashed his final strike. And proceeded to smash through ten feet of dirt with his Crack spell to smash a water main, flooding the arena. Of course, Ryu's about as far from a dragon of pure fire as it gets. Any number of options, such as freezing a platform of ice with his breath or flying above the water as Kaiser would have worked. However, Ryu went for something far more simple. He turned into Behemoth. Behemoth, essentially being a giant turtle, is pretty buoyant, so Ryu paddled happily as Chaos slowly drowned. However, a creature of chaos is not so easily defeated! Even if he can't swim. He judged that, if he could make more water flood the arena, then he could at least take Ryu with him. And, more importantly, the judges. So, he smashed the water main with all his might. Which leads to the final fact about the Arena construction. If you dig far enough, you hit the Plot Boss and Optional Superboss Reasearch, Testing and Containment Facility. So, basically, Chaos essentially flooded a bunch of superbosses and creatures of mass destruction who are contained largely by keeping them happily supplied with massive amounts of gourmet food, lavish surroundings, plays performed at their whims, the occasional sacrifice, and so on. (How do you think you'd contain them?) Naturally, they were a little miffed. Chaos died near instantly, from a combination of Megido Flame, Curse, Tiga slashing his face off, Giygas's unknown powers assaulting him, a flaming Mana Beast smashing into him, Dark Star, Primus, KaiserBreath, and Hammer impaling him. Unfortunately, this was all under a massive amount of water. Water under pressure and heat leads to steam. And that's how the fundamental design of the arena, at least temporarily changed, as a massive steam pillar destroyed one fourth of the arenas. This also resealed the Facility, though in a way they're less happy with. It's a good thing the finals aren't all held in the same set of arenas. Perhaps the most amazing thing is that Ryu never died, though, despite being nearly drowned and then bashed skywards through three arena floors, then falling a few hundred feet. I guess it was a match where turtling helped. Ryu: 49 Lyndis
mga052000@utdallas.edu
Zog vs Rydia
Lance Oh, THIS ought to be good. Zog is famous for taking a million gajillion hits without showing any signs of slowing down while Rydia has been known to die from being poked in the arm too hard. Zog can probably just look at her funny and knock her out. Match to Zog the durability god. Zog: 39 Shihali
Caius
Sir Alex
Lyndis
Princess Toadstool vs Marivel Armitage
Sage Acrin It was to be a deadly dance. Who could avoid the other's devastating status magic? Who could last the longest in a war of strange little robots against a frying pan? Then the nearby stadium blew up. Actually, this didn't stop the match, but most fo the crowd left. The remaining crowd left as rumors were heard that Edge was fighting Piastol in another arena. So, Princess vs Marivel was reduced to five bored looking judges and two women who weren't huge on fighting anyways. So, they did the obvious thing. For the first and, perhaps, the only time that will ever be, a bathing suit contest was held without any disturbance from perverts. Well, except that one of the judges was Rapp. But you can't have anything. Anyways, the Princess' pink two piece managed to beat out Marivel's frilly white one-piece suit, and so Princess managed to win the Middle Championship. The perfect lack of perversion for this match was short lived, though. Turns out Rapp had a camera. Well, nothing's perfect. Princess Toadstool: 33 Lyndis
Watari vs Peppita Rosetti
Sage Acrin "..." Watari said, staring blankly at the note in his hand. "...this is a joke, right?" He said, rereading the note to be sure he'd read it right. "They're planning on humiliating you again. Don't let them. They're on their guard this time, though. Ayame." "...Didn't they learn a thing from last time? I have to be missing something here." Watari mused... --- "Damned ninjas. So hard to control reliably." Zio said, sighing. "You really ought to just dispose of them all." "Heheheheh, yes, just kill all the pigs!" Luca said, laughing. "No. We need to make an example here." Piastol said, frowning. No one else seemed to be taking this seriously enough. "As of right now, Watari doesn't have any power, but he has a reputation. If we can crush the reputation, there goes the power." "And what if you simply feed his reputation?" Citan said, shrugging and polishing his glasses. "Won't this situation be made far worse by failure? Couldn't this simply be handled by more reasonable means?" "That bastard stole all of my clothes. No." Piastol said. Citan sighed. "Fine, have it your way." "Yes, they will all be crushed!" Zeromus said, laughing. The higher laughter of Profound Darkness joined his. --- "...Wait, why are you telling me this?" Yuri said. "Because Piastol's gone mad with this foolish rivalry." Citan said, sighing. "The initial attack was uneccisary, based entirely off her hatred of Edge, and now fueled by her feeling like she's lost. We need them to stop this, once and for all." "Well, what's your plan?" He said, cracking his knuckles. "I'll explain. But I warn you, you won't like it..." Citan said, smiling. --- The judges, as had occured before, started having inexplicable accidents, shortly before the match. Bart Fatima was found unconcious under a pile of Playgirl: The Duelling League Edition, copies extending back three years. He adamantly denied they were his. No one really bought it. Rena Lanford found herself sleeping in Chisato's bed. This alone wouldn't have incapacitated her, but Chisato woke up. Rena was hospitalized for four weeks and now every pervert on earth is visiting her to try to get details about their relationship. (On Chisato's part, not a lot has changed; People were accusing her of that sort of thing all the time anyways, and she always has handled it by rearranging their joints in new and exciting ways not found in nature.) Vincent Valentine was found hanging precisely hung from several quickly, yet securely, installed hooks in the ceiling, by his feet, over Adlebert Steiner's hamper. Steiner isn't much on changing or washing clothes, so the net result was a very unconcious Vincent. Landis was found unharmed, right up until a few moments before the match. Then he just disappeared. It wasn't really hard for Watari to convince him to leave and cause everyone lots of trouble in the process, they knew each other and Landis likes causing trouble. Jet Enduro was found stuffed into an air duct. Unto it's self, this seemed fairly plain, but when they pulled him out, he was found to be wearing Virginia's clothing and heavily overdone makeup. Virginia's still hitting Gallows for making a joking comment that he looked better in makup than Virginia. Jet was found the soonest, but he still wasn't found in time to make it to the match... "...This isn't right." Watari said, his suspicions growing. "These are all weak judges. And Landis didn't know what I was talking about. Landis could also be lying for kicks, have honestly forgotten, had no one tell him or could have been drawing a pony when he was told and not heard, though. And they still haven't called the match off yet, and it's five minutes before it..." The puzzle Watari walked up to the arena, still waiting for the announcement that the match would be called off. "Watari!" Ayame said, rushing up to him shortly before the match was to be called started. "Get out of here! They're pla-" "...Go away, Ayame. I already got your note. Don't worry, your reputation will be fine, I haven't disappointed you." He said, walking out into the arena. "...note?" Ayame said? "Note? I didn't send you a note!" Ayame called after Watari. Watari heard this, but it didn't register. Because he was staring at the judges box. Specifically, at Piastol. "Heh. So it worked." She said, smiling grimly. "Today, we witness your downfall, Watari." "For today, you take part in the ultimate scavenger hunt. A hunt to find the cutest, most darling, sachrinely sweet object ever! A chance for you to prove you have the eye for the most preciously cute plushie or adorable doll or incredibly huggably squeezable animal ever!" She laughed, and covered her microphone, projecting her voice so that only a few people around her and Watari could hear. "And so, even if you win, you lose. Goodbye, stupid ninja." She said to the poleaxed Watari. Profound Darkness, Luca Blight, Zio, and Zeromus, four of the other judges in the box, started laughing maniacally. Citan started at Piastol, looking thoughtful. "...I don't remember anyone mentioning this, do you?" Peppita said, staring up at her big Fairy Friend, who shrugged. "...Well, I guess it could be worse..." "AAAUUUGH!" Piastol shrieked, as a massive blast of whipped cream smashed into the judges box, covering them all in frothy, creamy goodness. "...EDGE! You're the only one with a damned whipped cream cannon!" "Correct." Edge said, appearing from beneath a seat a few rows behind the judges box. Before anyone could react, he'd kicked Luca Blight facefirst into a puddle of cream-and-stone-rubble. "Edge! You idiot! You can't stand up to me alone! I'll rip your spine out and use it to scoop out your eyes!" Piastol shrieked, pulling her scythe out. "Alone?" Yuri said, as he smashed the group of judges with For The Children. Luca, who had been attempting to stand, now lay quite unconcious, and the rest of the judges had been knocked to the ground as well. Or, at least, most of them. "This isn't going how I wanted it." Citan said, adjusting his glasses. "Hmmm, I suppose it's not a surprise Yuri didn't want to go along with that plan, at that." He said, watching Yuri lay out Zeromus as Edge fled from Piastol. "This will just continue forever if....hmmm? What is that?" He said, staring up at the sky. "...Ahah. Yes, that will do quite nicely." He said, raising a hand to the sky... "...I'm getting out of here. Come on, fuzzy!" Peppita said, running out of the arena, large monster in tow. "It's been fun, but it's not worth getting hit by a stray fireball or something over. I forfiet." "You! You've ruined my life too many times! You'll die here! Now! I'll crush you to dust!" Piastol said, punctuating every sentance with a slash of her scythe. Seats were slashed to pieces, the concrete gouged, but Edge still stood, not even scratched. "For now, anyways." He said, under his breath. "But I can't stand up to her, and if she ever breaks out of this berserker thing to actually use her magic on me, I'm toast. Where the hell is the help Yuri was going to get?" "Damnit, I really wish I had managed to get to Brey for help. I didn't expect Edge to burst out so fast." Yuri said, fending off Zio and Profound Darkness' massive combined power desperately. "I don't know that I can take the both of the-" He suddenly dove, driving his words out of his mind, as Piastol's scythe smashed past him. It seemed that Edge had done a full circuit around the arena. "Damnit! What the hell do we do here?"Edge said, backing his back up to Yuri's. "This is such a stupid way to get beaten!" "You know, I kind of wish I had gone with Citan's plan." Yuri said, with a sigh. "Ah, well, too late now!" He said, decking Zio. Unfortunately, the action left him open to Profound Darkness. A blast of Shadow Breath caught him, and laid him out, unconcious. "..." Edge said, watching the two Godlikes advance on him. "...I'm going to regret this." Watari said, leaping up to the stands to stand beside Edge. "What are..." "Shut up. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for my own pride." Watari said, cutting Edge off. "Let's die doing what we believe in." "...Why would I want to look up Piastol's dress?" "Please tell me that's not all you believe in, Edge." Watari said, dodging a scythe cut. --- "Got it." Citan said, as El Fenrir snatched the flying object out of the air. "Now, one toss, and this will work out just as planned." He added, throwing the massive object down into the arena. Ryu. In a dazed and battered Behemoth form. The entire arena shook and part of the floor caved in, as the mighty dragon, fueled by strong nanomachine enhanced mecha arms, smashed earthwards. Ontop of Edge, Yuri, Piastol, Profound Darkness, Watari, and the unconcious Zio, Zeromus and Luca. "There. Now they'll have to go along with it. Especially since I saved those three a lot of humiliation." Citan said, satisfied. --- "You want me to do what!?" Piastol shrieked, as she lay in her hospital bed, most of her body covered in bandages and both arms in slings. "You want us to do what!?" Edge said, in almost the same high note. He'd managed to almost dodge the falling dragon, but a stray seat had bashed him across the head and layed him out. "Apologize to each other. Specifically, Piastol to Watari, Edge and Yuri, and Yuri, Edge and Watari to Piastol. Unless there's something more you feel a need to apologize for. If so, please, feel free." Citan said. "Until you do, you won't get a healer in here." "How dare you! Let me out of here!" Piastol said, struggling with her slings. "Certainly, feel free to walk out. I'm sure you won't mind if I challenge you all to a friendly match before you leave, though?" Citan said, unsheathing his sword. "...heh. You've got guts, doc." Yuri said, rubbing his aching head and admiring his leg cast. "Sure, I apologize. I won't say I wouldn't do it again, considering, it was fun." He added, chuckling. "But I don't see why one or two little fights should get us killing each other forever. You were right to start with, doc, this was the best idea, just get both sides beat up so they have to agree." "This was your plan to start with?" Edge and Piastol both said, incredulously, staring at Citan."With a few modifications, yes." Citan said, adjusting his glasses and smiling. "....I apologize." Watari simply said. "It's the most profitable thing at this point to do. Let's just stop this stupidity and get to things that can make some money." "...What are you two doing!?" Edge said. "You can't apologize to this witch!" "And I'll never apologize to you, you idiot!" Piastol said to Edge. "You two, now, you've at least shown some kind of a backbone. I accept your apologies, and maybe I've judged you a little too harshly." She said to Yuri and Watari. "But this....dumbass! No! No apologies." She said, turning away from Edge as well as she could with limbs in slings. "I expected this. I'll have a healer in for you two, Watari, Yuri." Citan said, shrugging. "You two will stay in here until you either heal naturally or apologize to each other." Citan said, leaving the room. *Three days later.* "They're still at it?" Yuri said, stunned. "I would have expected them to at least stop arguing with each other. Well, at least they seem to be getting tired now." Citan said, sighing. "Maybe in a few more days, they'll apologize to each other. If not, it was at least a good try..." Watari: 36 khaki_knight
The Great DL Cook-Off AAA Here's how the cooking contest boils down: Orcha can't win, since he comes from CC and therefore is a blight upon the world. Jean took a early lead, but he was beaten to death by a group of angry Francophone RPG characters after mangling their language("Se" is used to connotate a reflexive verb.) Quina's taste is..different. Remember, Quina thinks raw frogs is a delicacy. After 3 judges had to be hospitalized after tasting his Horse-radish and Locoweed casserole, Quina was sent home. Worker 8, with robotic efficeny, had used his various Onion dishes(Anybody seen Peco lately?) to wow his judges. And it certaintly seemed that he would win. But that was when Melfice revealed his latest dish, which involved lots of screaming, swordplay, and murder. He called it his "I-Will-Kill-You-All" pie. Melfice won unanimously. Melfice: 22 Jean: 6 Orcha: 9 Quina: 10 Worker 8: 16 Terra Fanboy
the jp
Nephrite
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