Sephiroth: 105
Wakka: 13

Lurking Registered User
Wakka realized that he really had no chance to defeat Sephiroth in single combat. The team match from the previous week had proven that. No, he knew that to change the outcome, he had to change the battlefield.

So he challenged Sephiroth to a one-on-one game of Blitzball.

And Sephiroth accepted.

It turns out that the perfect SOLDIER happened to be very good at blitzball, just like he is at every activity not involving social skills. His wings, with their fin-like surface areas, propelled him through the water much more efficiently than Wakka's arms and legs. His Supernova translated into one hell of a tackle move. Heartless Angel made sure Wakka wouldn't want to interfere with his shots. But the final straw came when Wakka went for a point only for his shot to be deflected off of an invisible barrier: Sephiroth had cast Wall on his own goal.

Final score: Sephiroth won, 15 - 0.

Tide
Let's play a word game shall we?

S is for Super Nova, which Sephiroth will use the sun to fry Wakka
P is for Pale Horse which is what Sephiroth uses after frying Wakka.
L is for laugh, which Sephiroth does after Wakka is incapacitated.
A is for atomize, as Shadow Flare nukes the poor blitzer.
T is total annihilation which is basically this match in a nutshell.

Put them together and what do you get?
Wakka after his duel with the one winged Angel.

Cyrius
Wakka has a blitzball ball as a weapon for long range and nothing for close-medium range

Sephiroth has a mage-killer-girl-impalling-Guiness-winner-enourmuos-blade Masamune for medium to close range, and a world destroying meteor for long range

boy, hope wakka paid his health care

Acheron
After the obligatory Wall spell, Wakka threw the World Champion at the 3-time champion with all the force he could muster. Seph, feeling generous, decided to join him in an all out slugfest. Running up and swinging the Masamune at his foe, he was surprised to find that Wakka had miraculously dodged it and returned with a throw that almost decapitated him.

Enraged, he took to the skies and once more tried to connect with the Masamune. Having not done any research, he didn't know that the World Champion had a painfully annoying Evade and Counter move...

After a good five minutes of this, Seph was actually finding himself on the back foot, and nearly at a third health. Wakka was ecstatic - he couldn't believe his luck...

Shame is, once Seph came to his senses and realised he had magic, Wakka's number was up. Since neither his statuses, Drain or Osmose did much to the perfect SOLDIER, he was screwed.

Unfortunately Wakka doesn't have a MAGIC Evade and Counter.

the jp
If an army of Aeons can't take down Sephiroth, exactly how does a blitzball do it? Bingo, it doesn't! Pale Horse, Heartless Angel, Supernova, Sephiroth's toolbox is plenty big to take down Wakka and his blitzball. Oh did we mention Triple Foul doesn't work on Sephy? Wakka's only hope would be attack reels and he'd be long dead before he got it off.

Chalk up another massacre for the One-Winged Angel!

metroid composite
A Heavy champ getting thrown against a Godlike champ. For all that I can think of theoretical situations where the Heavy champ would stand a chance, that's really unlucky on the part of Wakka.

Drakeryn
Someone probably wishes he could go back to Heavy, ya?

jaymthegenius@yahoo.com
And so Wakka will face off against Sephiroth, sure the Masamune's a dangerous weapon, hell it even took down Sora, and no one beat's Sora, but anyway's weapon's have evolved since the day's of the Masamunes greatness, the World champion will prove it's superiority:

Wakka: Hey Seph! Head's up! (Wakka throw's a blitzball at Sephiroth, doing 6000 damage)

Seph: Hmph, is that all you've got? (he cast shadow flare, doing 3000 damage to Wakka)

Wakka: Not bad, but it's time to kick things up a notch! (Wakka then cast Ultima for 20,000 damage)

Sephiroth: Ugh! You'll pay for that!(he repeatedly slashes around the masamune doing 5000 damage)

Wakka: Allright, show's over (Sephiroth activated his Overdrive and so Wakka will demolish Sephiroth as his reel's turned 777, finishing off Sephiroth)

Sephiroth: How can this be?! I defeated the great Sora, S-O-R-A for crying out loud, who in turn beat up Cloud AND Squall!!!! Nooooooooooo!!!!

Wakka: Well, look's like another trophy on my rack.

Nephrite
I voted none because I couldn't live with myself if I voted for Wakka, which is what I would have done since it's hilarious.

Caius
Nerf Sephy.

Lucia vs Galcian

Lucia: 36
Galcian: 35

Chris Lightfellow vs Seed
CmdrKing
By silent consent, the match between Chris and Seed became a contest of pure swordsmanship. No runes, no armor, skill against skill alone.
It was an epic duel. For three hours, the combatants tested their mettle, blades flashing, their motions resembling a dance more than anything, the pair could hardly be contained in the arena, and soon went into the city, the wilderness, everywhere. Every master of the blade in the League was in tears at this impressive display, and even now movies are in the works to capture the sheer beauty of it all.
But at last the duellers returned to the arena, fatigued but still fighting with a passion not seen in the craft. But soon, Seed could no longer maintain his form. The somewhat older man fumbled slightly, and seeing her chance, Chris struck, sending the man's blade flying out of sight.
With Seed knelt in defeat, the winner was declared. None were certain how such a serious and wholesome display managed to take place that day, but few will soon forget it.

Chris Lightfellow: 62
Seed: 24

SageAcrin
Silent, cool, water.

Nothing like it in the world.

Except when someone throws Gobi into Silent Lake for kicks.

Then the laws of physics break down, since water both unlocks Gobi's ability and Silent Lake locks them.

And this is why they're having to rebuild an arena again.

They still haven't gotten Seed turned back from the Dhaos-cosplaying dolphin. No one really cares, though, he's great at parties.

Chris is also hitting on random women now, but everyone just assumes the threat to her life is what caused the change. Reviewing your past actions due to a near death experience and all.

And Lezard's still laughing. Hey, Gobi finally had a use.

Orlandu, Cidolfas vs Jade
Lurking Registered User
"BoltX!"
"Night Sword!"
"BoltX!"
"Night Sword!"
"BoltX!"
"Night Sword!"
"BoltX!"
"Night Sword!"
"BoltX!"
"Night Sword!"
"BoltX!"
"Night Sword!"
"BoltX!"
"Night Sword!"
"Bolt(cough)X!"
"Night Sword!"
"Bolt...X!"
"Night Sword!"
"...Bolt...(cough)!"
"Night Sword!"
"I (cough) give (hack) up!"

-------------------------------------

After the match, Orlandu revealed the real secret to victory: Night Sword's healing cured the sore throat you get from shouting your attack moves over and over. Jade had turned down the post-battle healing, instead opting for a month's supply of throat lozenges...

Orlandu, Cidolfas: 70
Jade: 32

legendaryflyingfailure
The battle commenced. Cidofas Orlandu versus the legendary Jade, servant to the Godess tear herself. Night Blades and Bolt X's crashed in the arena. Blow after blow was met in equality by both opponents. Even the great Thunder God Cid had to admit that Jade was easily his equal. Coming from someone who was more powerful than the main character of his native game that was truly a distinguished compliment. Even the evil heart of Jade could not help but to give a slight bow in appreciation for the acknowlegment. That's when Orlandu struck. The attack came so fast most of the Godlikes could barely follow it. (everyone else didn't even see it) Striking laterally with his mighty Excaliber, the great Thunder God intended to decapitate his opponent with one mighty blow. He should have remembered one thing. You can't trick a trickster. During the ifinitessimal time that Cid had put down his guard Jade delivered a powerful Bolt X aimed directly at the Excaliber. Using the sword as a lightening rod he negated both the effects of the Aegis Shield AND the White Robe. The result of this was a burnt to a crisp Cid with a badly melted Excaliber pinned beneath Jades mighty dragon talons. Jade grinned thinking that the win would be his. It was at this point Cid revealed his true identity as Obi Wan Kenobi. Using his pupils patented "force choke" ability (which unbeknownst to everyone he had tought his student "just in case") He quickly subdued his opponent. Shocked at seeing such a merciless attack coming from a renouned warrior of light and an honerable swordsman Jade questioned his methods asking how he as a Jedi could result to such extreme measures in battle. Cid/Obi Wan reponded saying that "all the crap about not using the force to attack was nothing but a ruse to throw thier opponent offguard. With this Jade suffucated and died and thus the victory went to The invincible Thunder God/Jedi/Sith Warrior/Victor-Cid(or Obi Wan whichever he preferred.)

T.G. Nevareh
... How can Orlandu lose? He's got exactly one weakness that Jade can't capitolize upon: suceptibility to instant death. Orlandu's damage is incredible, he can equip break his opponents (not that this matters much against... uhh... brain-bug-cell-tendril-man), he can drain hit points like nuts, and he can do it as much as he likes. There's no winning a grudge match against Orlandu, and that's the only kind of fight Jade (and MOST Breath of Fire bosses) is good at.

If Jade could hit with debilitating status or instant death, he'd be able to win. Jade can do neither of these things.

Caius
Tough match, but I see Jade winning. Allowing Rubber shoes would almost be as facepalm worthy as the famed "Magic Stomp."

Barubary vs Maria Traydor
SageAcrin
Maria is a pretty girl with many phallic weapons.

Barubary is a shelled, long tailed monster with lots of hooked claws and a generic evil demeanor.

Everyone knows how this is going to end up, right?

Of course, The Demon Awakens 4: Barubary Strikes! ended up a horrible B-movie, and ruined Maria's acting career, but at least she goes on to the next round.

Barubary: 36
Maria Traydor: 41

Dryst vs Ultros
UltraDude
Two words sum up the match between Dryst and Ultros: Imp. Song.

That said, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!

Dryst: 19
Ultros: 50

mga052000@utdallas.edu
I have to say that the real winner of the Ultros v. Dryst fight is the audience, the part behind Dryst that is. The part nearest Ultros will get to experience the unique sensations that come of a Meteor Doom-ed octopus.

Marle (Nadia Guardia) vs Cliff Fittir
Maxmagnus20019
Cliff: MAX SHOCKWAVE!
Marle: *heals*
Cliff: MAX SHOCKWAVE!
Marle: *heals*
Cliff: MAX SHOCKWAVE!
Marle: *has no more MP*
Cliff: MAX SHOCKWAVE!
Marle: X_X

Marle (Nadia Guardia): 37
Cliff Fittir: 58

RedMage001
Princess Nadia was instantly defeated by the hulking power of the merciless clausian. Cliff's first attack did 9999 damage, destroyed most of the arena, and singed the hair of the lightweights sitting in the front row. Standing over his defeated opponent he was about to be declared the winner, when out of nowhere she stood up again with full HP. Cliff, stunned, used his powerful sphere of might ability delivering a crushing blow that destroyed the rest of the arena and fragged the frail female lead's body to dust.standing over the charred ashes Cliff smiled. He'd won. Out of nowhere though the princess once again reappeared looking quite unharmed. Cliff, stunned launched an all out attack. Sphere of might, Electric Fist and Hammer of of might with several strong physical hits inbetween created an electric Aura around the entire Arena what little hair on the first row lightweights head's stood on end from the static electricity in the air produced by electric fists. The dust cleared the Aura faded and all that remained of Princess Nadia was a bloody grease spot on the floor. Exausted Cliff believed the match to finally be over. When suddenly-just on cue, there was Nadia without a single scratch on her. Cliff stared in disbelief.
"How?" He said. "How can you still be alive?" Nadia without saying anything pointed behind her at Lucca in the audience who had the Gate key in one hand, the Chrono trigger in the other and a smile on her face that could make Kefka green with envy. Suddenly Cliff realized his fatal mistake. His attacks unlike many others in the DL used up his HIT POINTS in stead of his magic. He was nearly dead just from attacking her. And thanks to Lucca's intervention she had not taken a single bit of damage yet. Just as he was about to forfeit, Nadia used the only skill she needed to. Provoke. Even weakened she couldn't kill him alone. Fortunately for her, as a result of her attack on his next turn Cliff punched hiself in the face and died.

Valter vs Wren
CmdrKing
For a war of Unstoppable Force and Immovable Object, Valter and Wren's match had really worked up the crowd. Perhaps it was Wren's seemingly risky attacks, or the sheer speed and fury of Valter's lance-work, or Valter's almost unending taunts, trying to get under the android's skin. Unsuccessfully of course.
Finally, Valter decided to make one last, decisive pass at his adversary. This time, the taunt struck a little closer to home. "Perhaps after my victory I'll look up this Demi. A child with energy will be just the ticket after this boring contest."
The results were somewhat unexpected, to put it mildly. As all of Wren's cavities and other compartments began to open up, the rest of the Phantasy Star IV cast quietly exited the arena and fled for dear life.
Very soon it was encased in a glowing green dome of pure energy. Then it exploded. The ultimate android technique; Positron Ultima.
When it all faded, Wren calmly acknowledged his victory and walked off to recharge, oblivious to the general wreckage aroud him.
As for Valter? Well, a crack team of mysterious cloaked medics are working on reconstituting his disintirated particles now. Of course, it'll be months until they get it right, but its the thought that counts.

Valter: 27
Wren: 46

Mieu vs Forde
SageAcrin
An empty, lonely arena.

Well, except for the devoted Forde fanclub over on his side of things, who were cheering and waving banners, a group of squalling, happy fangirls.

Mieu had no one.

Even her castmates had left her in favor of visiting Sephiroth's match.

Mieu, seeing this, knew what she had to do.

Forde wouldn't stand a chance. There would be no stopping her.

---

Mieu sighed, as she lounged in the bathtub.

It had taken so long to get the blood out of her hair, too. But it had been worth it to rip apart those annoying girls.

Sure, she had to default the match, but Forde, mounted and in heavy armor as he was, had no chance of reaching her before she had crushed the annoying, squealing girl's faces with her claws and ripped out their throats.

Satisfaction comes in many forms. Sometimes, to win, you must lose.

Of course, due to magical revival, it wouldn't be a lasting victory, but you can't have everything, can you?

Mieu: 25
Forde: 26

Rina vs Seifer Almasy
Lurking Registered User
Rina decided to look to the tarot to determine the outcome of her fight. Unfortunately, there are certain physical difficulties in reading tarot cards in gale force winds like those produced by, say, a tornado caused by a rapidly spinning swordsmsn. Rina never came down in time for the match and was disqualified.

Rina: 27
Seifer Almasy: 65

Gatewalker
Rina knew she couldn't match her opponent in power, and his magic defense was nothing to sneeze at, so at first glance, things seemed pretty bleak for the beautiful fortune teller. Of course, Rina is a master at looking past the first glance. Her opponent was also a blithering idiot and extreamly vain. She knew just how to take him down.

As the fighters entered the ring, Rina flashed her opponent her most dazzling smile and ran up to him, holding out a glossy poster of Seifer in his most dashing pose, "Hi, before we fight I have a favor to ask. Could I get your autograph for my little brother? He's a huge fan, and keeps saying how he wants to be just like you when he grows up. I know this is kind of awkward, us being opponents and all, but this would mean the world to him."

Seifer just couldn't resist, setting his gunblade down, he took the proffered poster and pen, "Not a problem. So what's the tyke's name?"

Of course, his only answer was lots and lots of flaming death, courtesy of Rina's fire rune.

Over in the audience, Fujin proceeded to slam her head into a wall while Raijin added Rina's name to The List.

Even on his best days, Seifer still isn't the sharpest sword on the rack.

Paulette vs Taloon
SageAcrin
An empty arena.

Well, not quite empty...

"Where is everyone?" Paulette said, staring up at the empty stands.

"How am I supposed to know?" Taloon said, shrugging.

"Hmmm? You didn't know?" Maru called down. "They're holding Sephiroth's match at the same time as Paullette's and Mieu's."

"...I thought they didn't do that!" Paulette yelled up at Maru. "Since it means you end up with no one coming to the other matches! And why are you here, if that's going on?"

"Well, the popular theory is that the people that schedueled the matches didn't care about you." Maru said, shrugging. "And I'm here because I hate big crowds, and you're fighting, Paulette." "In that order, hmmm?" Taloon called up. "Well, I mean, she is kinda grumpy and all, but it's better than sitting around doing nothing..."

"That's ridiculous! It has to be some mistake!" Paulette said, stunned.

"I kinda doubt it. See, they printed it on the matchups here. Look; 'Paullette and Mieu's matches have been placed at a time of optimal arena time-sharing convenience due to lack of fans. Judges will review tapes at a later time to determine the matches' winners.'."

"..." Paulette said, staring blankly.

"Hmmm. You know, I bet there's a big crowd at Sephiroth's match...a big, rich crowd..." Taloon said, shouldering his pack. "You win, Paulette!" He said, running out of the arena.

"It worked!" Maru said, laughing.

"...Wait, you made that up so he'd leave?" Paulette said, starting to smile.

"Oh, no, that's true enough about the match. But I figured it'd get rid of him, so you could win. After all, you can't always be fighting nobodies no one cares about, right? I'm sure that mentioning your name as the one no one cared about was just a coincidence, you have to eventually fight someone people care about, right?" Maru babbled happily. "Besides, Sephiroth's probably going to lose to Wakka anyways, and then they can't hold his matches across from yours anymore! You should see Wakka! He has this great status ball attack! It's almost as good as my arrows! And..."

"...Maru?" "Uh-huh?" "Shut up." Paulette said, fuming, as she walked out of the arena.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" Maru said, puzzled.

---

"You know, they were going to have a bad enough time anyways. Why did you threaten the comittee into both making their matches end up across from Sephiroth's and giving them absolutely no knowledge of it?" Chisato said, puzzled. She'd tracked the trail of this story for days, figuring it would lead to a good scoop. When she learned who had done such a thing, she knew she was right.

"Well, it's a long story." Guido Kandori said, chuckling. "Suffice it to say, if they won't have me around, why should I make it easy for the boring ones?"

"Not to mention, there is a certain...unfairness to them getting consideration in the league, while better, more fit fighters don't." Elyon said calmly.

"And a few of us have decided to set things right." Blue said grimly...

Paulette: 34
Taloon: 14

Raijin vs Selan
Grefter
Once again the other members of the Disciplinary Committee to understand being cool far better than Seifer could ever possibly imagine. Raijin lost this week much to the glee of his adoring fans everywhere, he new how to keep it absolutely chilled. He lost to a housewife with access to only a hand full of low level spells. It takes so much talent to do that. Meanwhile Seifer went ahead and won and got mocked by everyone in attendance. At the after party Seifer was all decked out in his eyeliner and lipstick but no one cared, he won and yet he is still a bigger loser than Raijin, because Raijin knows what it takes to be cool.

Raijin: 32
Selan: 54

Caius
He can't hit a lady, yanno?

Sigurd vs Leena
Grefter
You really don't want to know what it was that Sigurd did to earn that slap. Wasn't much of a match since no one even turns up to Crono Cross characters matches these days. There was some candles, a nice dinner and some Barry White. Sigurd won technically when Leena stomped out of the arena after slapping him.

In an unrelated noted, today Poshul came out of the closet.

Sigurd: 45
Leena: 23

Cyan Garamonde vs Melody Vilente
Sei
(A few thousand feet above the DL Arena, aboard the Falcon, a scene straight out of a love story played out...)

Rinoa stepped out to the deck of the airship, her pristine blue dress dancing in the cool gale that whipped the hull of the Falcon. Pushing away a few stray strands of hair from her mouth, she walked over to the bow, where a man wearing a black jacket stood.

"Hello, Squall." Rinoa said, her voice bubbling like fine champagne with each word, "They said you might be out here."

Squall looked back at her, with an uncharacteristic smile on his face. He reached one hand towards the young sorceress while the other lifted a finger to his lips. "Shhh. Give me your hand. Now close your eyes."

While a little wondering and hesitant, Rinoa did so, and she felt the roguish mercenary lead her up the bow. "Go on, step up." he said. "Now hold on to the railing. Keep your eyes closed. Don't peek."

"I'm not." Rinoa responded, as she felt the full force of the fierce gales buffet her body.

Continuing to guide her with his hands, Squall gently pushed Rinoa forward. "Step up on the railing. Hold on, hold on. Keep your eyes closed." And then, after she did so, he spoke again. "Do you trust me?"

"I trust you." she said, with nary a trace of doubt in her voice.

And then Squall pushed her off the ship.

"I'm flying, Squall! I'm flyiiii..."

As Squall dispassionately watched her disappear in the clouds below, a voice spoke from behind.

"You enjoy that far too much, you know" Seifer said with a chuckle.

"Whatever." Squall responded, his usual uncaring expression back in place.

(Meanwhile, down in the DL Arena, a long, boring match was finally coming to an end.)

"Will you finally submit to my beauty and strength, samurai?" Melody laughed as she watched Cyan's struggling form. His pathetic sword techniques had been utterly useless in the face of her barriers, and while her Eliminate Scanner was unimpressive, it had slowly taken its toll upon the old man.

"Nay, foul demoness!" The Doman Knight spat out along with a glob of blood. "Whilst I admit thou art powerful indeed, thy beauty is but a false facade, hiding thine ugliness within!"

When those words were uttered, Melody snarled "Then die in misery, you wre- What the hell was that!?"

Both duellers looked up, wondering where the high-pitched sound was coming from. As they did so, they saw a tiny speck that was gradually getting bigger.

"...iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!"

And thus, Rinoa landed on Cyan with a loud crash.

A crash loud enough to wake up the sleeping judges, in fact.

Taking a quick glance at the ring, they noted the standing Melody, the knocked out Cyan, and the very illegal third dueller who was also in the ring. Having missed all of the prior events, this was obviously a clear disqualification for Melody.

And so, the judges ruled that Cyan advances, and they left the arena to catch up to their naps, leaving an exasperated and fuming Prophet.

"Ooog... what happened?" Rinoa said, woozily as she got up. "It feels like I fell off an airship..."

And with a wordless scream, Melody wailed on Rinoa, forsaking her Eliminate Scanners for a more hand-to-hand approach.

To this day, they're still trying to put Rinoa back together again.

Cyan Garamonde: 43
Melody Vilente: 34

Tide
Cyan's not known for his damage. Melody isn't known for her damage outside of poison.
Cyan can equip a Star Pendant to block Poison. Melody has a barrier that blocks most of Cyan's damage.
Cyan needs to charge in order to deal anything resembling damage. Melody doesn't need to charge using Eliminate Scanner.
Cyan's charged damage is still getting reduced by Melody's barrier. Cyan has no way of reducing Eliminate Scanner.
Match to the prophet.

Nina Wyndia vs Zell Dincht
Lurking Registered User
Zell was actually smart enough to challenge Nina to a hot-dog-eating contest, bypassing such problems as his inability to use GFs or drawn spells for the Arena match.

Sadly, he was *not* smart enough to restrain himself before the match, and was found lying bloated and passed out on a table, mouth crammed full of half-eaten hot dogs, having done his darnedest to eat the entire supply reserved for the contest.

While she made valiant attempts to rouse Zell for the match, it was fruitless. Eventually Nina waited for the contest start, daintily nibbled a chunk of hotdog that had flown off in Zell's haste and been somewhat salvagable, and won with a score of 0.2 to 0.

Nina Wyndia: 53
Zell Dincht: 47

Caius
Zell has damage. Nina has damage, healing, and buffs. But aisde from that, since FF8 limits only trigger at critical HP, what if somebody cunningly tailored their spells to hit Zell hard on their first action, but not hard enough to put him to critical HP, then open the gates of hell on his ass on the second action? Oops.

Sytha
Zell>LimitBreak 120 some attacks later... Dead Light bracket.

Mukumuku vs Red Wizard
Lurking Registered User
It was bad enough that Mukumuku had drawn Red Wizard for his opponent. But Red Wizard had mistaken Mukumuku's cape for a Red Wizard's garment, assumed the squirrel to be wearing it as some kind of trophy, and gone completely nutters.

After several minutes of Red Wizard chasing Mukumuku around the ring and waving his sword like a madman, Mukumuku gave up on winning the match and called on the rest of the squirrel squad, who proceeded to blindside the wizard with a folding chair to the head.

Sure Mukumuku was disqualified, but he was going to lose anyway, and he now has a brand new Protect Cape!

Mukumuku: 12
Red Wizard: 82

sirkasiro@hotmail.com
A few games i haven't played deserved the "no vote" option. Yet how could someone vote for mukumuku? He has no story nor character developement.

Grefter
GOOOOOOO MUKUMUKU!