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Lance We have an interesting match this week. Kefka, the two-time champion, speed demon, and madman extraordinaire faces off against Lloyd, a rather so-so Godlike. It may seem like Kefka is going to win this match without even breaking a sweat -- but wait! There is much more to this match than meets the eye. A rousing edition of \"Eight Degrees of Kefka Bacon\" will reveal the truth about this encounter. Lloyd defeated Ness last week. The week before that, Ness defeated Kuja. Kuja has defeated Sephiroth. Sephiroth has defeated Virgil. Virgil has defeated TimeLord. TimeLord has defeated Piastol. Piastol has defeated Ghaleon. Ghaleon has defeated Zophar. And finally, Zophar has defeated *gasp* Kefka! Therefore, we can assume the following: Lloyd > Ness > Kuja > Sephiroth > Virgil > TimeLord > Piastol > Ghaleon > Zophar > Kefka As we can clearly see, Lloyd easily outclasses Kefka. He should have no problem dispatching the mad clown and claiming a spot in the Finals. No problem at all. ... ...okay, maybe not. Well, it was worth a shot >_> Kefka: 51 legendaryflyingfailure
Alanna82
Lurking Registered User Tir has a real problem here. Instant Death attacks won't work on Fou-Lu. Luckily, he has Judgement to do massive damage instead. It'll take all his castings of it and then some, but he can kill Fou-Lu. Fou-Lu also has a problem here. Dark Wave is linked to his life, and the faster Tir will be able to get a shot of Judgement off before he can use it. Luckily, Fou-Lu has lots of other attacks, like the various combo magics. A single casting of *those* puts even the hardiest characters into critical health. So the question is, can Tir kill Fou-Lu before Fou-Lu can act twice? Thou doth have to be kidding me. Tir McDohl: 38 Sir Alex
legendaryflyingfailure
Scar
superaielman Even sometimes, the Ultimate Superhero's judgement fails him. Upon viewing Purim and her hot pants, he commented something unprintable about Purim stealing Ghaleon's clothing. Ghaleon was in the arena at the time. Needless to say, he made his displeasure felt with several Hell Waves aimed in Red's direction, along with the shrieking (Royce) minions (Xenobia) sent his way to smite. No one thought less of Red when he took one look at what he faced and hauled ass to the Cygnus, and got the hell out of the Region. Red: 35 Joou Ranbu
SageAcrin These two warriors have fought bravely. In the 100-yard breaststroke! Yes, two close-range fighters, battling it out in a swimming pool! Who could possibly survive the aquatic carnage? Neither, really. Hugo can't swim, so he promptly drowned. As for Id, he's quite capable of swimming. However, due to recent events, he showed up in a one-piece bathing suit, which showed ample clevage. Complete with false breasts. At any rate, the results are that the pool's ruined, as was any electronics held by anyone in the audience(A local Time Mages convention had happened upon this match. The resulting meteor splashes actually drowned the first three rows of people.), and Hugo won. (Why? Well, the judges didn't even bother trumping anything up there. This is why it's nice to have Ghaleon as a judge. He knows who deserves to win and doesn't give a damn about making up reasons. He then promptly backhanded Gades and vowed never to let a drunken Sinistral plan the match rules ever again. Gades can't get any respect. Gades also can't hold his liquor. He'd only had one drink, and was by this point passed out in the judges box. All the smack did was start him snoring.) Fei later showed up in an intensive care unit, with two gaping wounds in his chest, surrounded by healers and muttering angrily about needing to find some way to kill Id once and for all. Or at least make it so that he doesn't get matches. Elly's still wondering what the hell happened to her bathing suit. (And where Fei is, but considering recent events, that's lesser to her.) And now Hugo's taking swimming lessons, from Llewelyn's School of Aquatic Arts, where they believe in diving in head-first and facing your fears! And where they take out insurance policies on their students. Made out to themselves. Entirely unrelated, naturally. Poor Hugo. Id: 40 SageAcrin Ahhh, Flea. Your feminine wiles always get you into trouble. A waltz, a wink, the opponent becomes befuddled and vunerable... ...and then Lenneth breaks your nose. The resulting battle, as Lenneth bodily leapt out of the stands and smashed Flea's face in, could be called a cat fight, except that a few dozen Einherjar were promptly summoned to attack Flea. Naturally, such a battle should have gotten Lucian disqualified, but one of the judges just "happened" to be Brahms, so there was no question of this happening. And so, Flea was successfully revived weeks later from a lacerated chin, and all was well with the world. Well, except for Lucian. It turns out it's harder to heal massive bruising to certain tender areas than to revive someone. That'll teach him to dance with another woman! And then Lenneth was arrested for spousal abuse. And then all was truly right with the world. Lucian: 61 legendaryflyingfailure
SirAlex
SageAcrin An elven girl. A noble king. Yes, this tale of romance will be forever told throughout history. The noble king, rescuing the elven girl from the dragon's lair, and wielding his legendary swo-erm, spear, shining in the night! Yes, Albert, flying through the night to pierce the dragon's heart and win the adoration of the beautiful girl, who surely would be catch him in an infinite Yes/No chain until he agreed to love her! Is there anything more epic than this? And sure enough, the elven girl rushed towards Albert's open arms! ...Then cast Vulcan on him. Then Ryu Bateson blew Albert up. That's what he gets for attacking random people that Jerin just happens to be talking to a few minutes before the match. On the upside, Albert didn't actually manage to gain a clue from this, so he's fine. Ignorance is bliss, after all. Albert Serdio: 30 jaymthegenius@yahoo.com
Pyro For all that Hervey is a master of his Fire rune, he himself has no defense against fiery Explosions cast from Light's mistress of symbology (and bad tastes). Hervey will run crying to Sigurd after his Light run is ended by a string of spells of the element he supposedly mastered. We all knew Hervey was a flamer, Sophia's just making it literal. Sophia Esteed: 52 SageAcrin Unfortunately, someone accidentally read the wrong issue of Timber Maniacs just before this match. As anyone knows, these magazines have the ability to change reality. For Ward, anyways. And so, Ward found himself in the Mushroom Kingdom. Naturally, it was rather hard to get back in time for the match. On the upside, when Ward finally did get out, weeks later, he'd gotten kissed by a princess, had gained twelve lives, was now twice as big and durable as normal, and gained the ability to throw fireballs. And no Goombas are ever going to screw with him ever again. Genis Sage: 49 Leonhart4
Ralff
Cid vs. Cid(Cid, Cid, Cid, Cid, Cid and Cid) SnowFire The fight was over quite quickly- Orlandu was packing his handy hasted Excalibur, and broke both the Venus Gospel and the Earth Hammer. A quick Peep from Cid4 detected that Orlandu was still feeling extremely healthy, and there were clearly a lot of Cid10 laughed jovially at the spectacle. "Well, this isn't really fair. I'm certain myself or my friend Cid5 over here could easily destroy you via force once you left here from the air or sea- not an option now, of course, since we're here too. But I would not recommend making enemies with all of us." "So you're suggesting that I should kill you all now to prevent that from happening?" Orlandu said, casually tossing back a Shellburst Stab at Cid7 who was attempting a spell from his armor's materia. "Ah... not quite. See, to be a Cid requires intellectual prowess. It doesn't matter if you defeat us in brute battle; we can't let you in until you prove you possess that special spark of kaheic, genius." Orlandu paused for a moment. "Well, I led Ivalice in the Fifty Years War, a far bigger mess than any of you had to deal with. You can at least control robots and airships and fix them yourself; I had to deal with logistics, incompetent subordinates, and illogical orders from the rulers." "And it took you fifty years to just get a ceasefire? Not very effective to-" Cid3 chimed in, shortly before getting Lightning Stabbed into Silence. "Give us a moment," Cid8 said. The other Cids gathered in a small huddle to discuss a proper test to get rid of this irritating newcomer. He'd proven surprisingly resilient and capable. It had to be something irritating and random. What to use... Cid6 came forward. "All right, Orlandu, we'll let you be a Cid if you can pass one little aptitude test first. But first, can I suggest a refreshing dip in one of these tanks over here first, to properly prepare yourself?" "No." "All right then. All you need to do is defeat our amphibious friend here in a true test of mental discipline." Cid9 hopped forward. "How does a, *gwok* game of Tetra Master sound?" ----- Squall was getting impatient. "I don't care that they said not to be disturbed. I need to go on a mission, and Edea's disappeared again, as usual. Somebody needs to be in charge. Xu, send someone down to check." Apprentice SeeDs were cleaning the basement for a good week afterward, and Dr. Kadowaki had to work triple shifts trying to put the various Cid pieces back together to the right Cid. Orlandu: 31 True Cids: 15 Judgemaster Cid: 15 Cid Overload: 28 Mr. VSM
Octillus
Tide
Lurking Registered User
legendaryflyingfailure
dimatt2004@yahoo.com
Cinny
Justin
Mechaux01@yahoo.com
Browbeat
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