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Kefka vs Lloyd Red vs Purim Lucian vs Flea Sophia Esteed vs Hervey
Tir McDohl vs Fou-Lu Id vs Hugo Albert Serdio vs Jerin Genis Sage vs Ward Zabac
Week 4 - Quarterfinals




Kefka (FF6) Kefka vs Lloyd Lloyd (LoD)

Lance
We have an interesting match this week. Kefka, the two-time champion, speed demon, and madman extraordinaire faces off against Lloyd, a rather so-so Godlike. It may seem like Kefka is going to win this match without even breaking a sweat -- but wait! There is much more to this match than meets the eye. A rousing edition of \"Eight Degrees of Kefka Bacon\" will reveal the truth about this encounter.

Lloyd defeated Ness last week. The week before that, Ness defeated Kuja. Kuja has defeated Sephiroth. Sephiroth has defeated Virgil. Virgil has defeated TimeLord. TimeLord has defeated Piastol. Piastol has defeated Ghaleon. Ghaleon has defeated Zophar. And finally, Zophar has defeated *gasp* Kefka!

Therefore, we can assume the following: Lloyd > Ness > Kuja > Sephiroth > Virgil > TimeLord > Piastol > Ghaleon > Zophar > Kefka

As we can clearly see, Lloyd easily outclasses Kefka. He should have no problem dispatching the mad clown and claiming a spot in the Finals. No problem at all.

...

...okay, maybe not. Well, it was worth a shot >_>

Kefka: 51
Lloyd: 32

legendaryflyingfailure
1. Lloyd is only truly powerful in his Dragoon Form.
2. Kefka has Havok Wing. Therefore Lloyd will never GET to his Dragoon form.
3. If all else fails Kefka's 16 bit laugh will make Lloyd curl up into fetal position and cry.

Alanna82
Do I spy a Kefka vs Fou Lu rematch? :P




Tir McDohl (Suikos) Tir McDohl vs Fou-Lu Fou-Lu (BoF4)

Lurking Registered User
Tir has a real problem here. Instant Death attacks won't work on Fou-Lu.

Luckily, he has Judgement to do massive damage instead. It'll take all his castings of it and then some, but he can kill Fou-Lu.

Fou-Lu also has a problem here. Dark Wave is linked to his life, and the faster Tir will be able to get a shot of Judgement off before he can use it.

Luckily, Fou-Lu has lots of other attacks, like the various combo magics. A single casting of *those* puts even the hardiest characters into critical health.

So the question is, can Tir kill Fou-Lu before Fou-Lu can act twice?

Thou doth have to be kidding me.

Tir McDohl: 38
Fou-Lu: 61

Sir Alex
Blitzing strategies = fail vs Fou-Lu.

legendaryflyingfailure
Goodbye Tir. We knew the well.

Scar
Tir wins!

why?

He masters the Soul Eater just like Ted displayed in part 4 after holding the vile creation for ever so long. Thus, now, granting him parasitic healing and more sex appeal then the pale faced Dragon Boy can handle.

Game, set, match.





Red (Saga) Red vs Purim Purim (SoM)

superaielman
Even sometimes, the Ultimate Superhero's judgement fails him. Upon viewing Purim and her hot pants, he commented something unprintable about Purim stealing Ghaleon's clothing.

Ghaleon was in the arena at the time. Needless to say, he made his displeasure felt with several Hell Waves aimed in Red's direction, along with the shrieking (Royce) minions (Xenobia) sent his way to smite. No one thought less of Red when he took one look at what he faced and hauled ass to the Cygnus, and got the hell out of the Region.

Red: 35
Purim: 36

Joou Ranbu
Alkaiser is a force of collant-laced goodness, campiness and plenty of super sentai nostalgia to make all geeks smile. This is quite a dangerous combo, yes? Correct. And Alkaiser is incredibly powerful to boot. Most people would say he can overcome almost anything.

... almost. The moment Red transformed into Alkaiser, revealing his latent spandex suit, all that Purim did was shake her hip a little. At that moment, her pants shone brightly, and Alkaiser slowly melted down into the shape of a female high-schooler Tai Ho cosplayer. Not even super sentai spandex can handle the power of puffy harem pants.




Id (XG) Id vs Hugo Hugo (S3)

SageAcrin
These two warriors have fought bravely.

In the 100-yard breaststroke!

Yes, two close-range fighters, battling it out in a swimming pool! Who could possibly survive the aquatic carnage?

Neither, really.

Hugo can't swim, so he promptly drowned.

As for Id, he's quite capable of swimming.

However, due to recent events, he showed up in a one-piece bathing suit, which showed ample clevage.

Complete with false breasts.

At any rate, the results are that the pool's ruined, as was any electronics held by anyone in the audience(A local Time Mages convention had happened upon this match. The resulting meteor splashes actually drowned the first three rows of people.), and Hugo won.

(Why? Well, the judges didn't even bother trumping anything up there. This is why it's nice to have Ghaleon as a judge. He knows who deserves to win and doesn't give a damn about making up reasons.

He then promptly backhanded Gades and vowed never to let a drunken Sinistral plan the match rules ever again. Gades can't get any respect.

Gades also can't hold his liquor. He'd only had one drink, and was by this point passed out in the judges box. All the smack did was start him snoring.)

Fei later showed up in an intensive care unit, with two gaping wounds in his chest, surrounded by healers and muttering angrily about needing to find some way to kill Id once and for all. Or at least make it so that he doesn't get matches.

Elly's still wondering what the hell happened to her bathing suit. (And where Fei is, but considering recent events, that's lesser to her.)

And now Hugo's taking swimming lessons, from Llewelyn's School of Aquatic Arts, where they believe in diving in head-first and facing your fears!

And where they take out insurance policies on their students. Made out to themselves. Entirely unrelated, naturally.

Poor Hugo.

Id: 40
Hugo: 45




Lucian (VP1) Lucian vs Flea Flea (CT)

SageAcrin
Ahhh, Flea.

Your feminine wiles always get you into trouble.

A waltz, a wink, the opponent becomes befuddled and vunerable...

...and then Lenneth breaks your nose.

The resulting battle, as Lenneth bodily leapt out of the stands and smashed Flea's face in, could be called a cat fight, except that a few dozen Einherjar were promptly summoned to attack Flea.

Naturally, such a battle should have gotten Lucian disqualified, but one of the judges just "happened" to be Brahms, so there was no question of this happening.

And so, Flea was successfully revived weeks later from a lacerated chin, and all was well with the world.

Well, except for Lucian.

It turns out it's harder to heal massive bruising to certain tender areas than to revive someone.

That'll teach him to dance with another woman!

And then Lenneth was arrested for spousal abuse.

And then all was truly right with the world.

Lucian: 61
Flea: 29

legendaryflyingfailure
While Flea's magic is a great asset to her/him/it. His/hers/its absolute most powerful attacks come from his ability to make his opponent stare in awe with a WTF expression while Flea frags the hell out of them.

Game set and match.

SirAlex
Being status vulnerable = fail vs Flea, she can annoy people to death.




Albert Serdio (LoD) Albert Serdio vs Jerin Jerin (Lufia1)

SageAcrin
An elven girl.

A noble king.

Yes, this tale of romance will be forever told throughout history.

The noble king, rescuing the elven girl from the dragon's lair, and wielding his legendary swo-erm, spear, shining in the night! Yes, Albert, flying through the night to pierce the dragon's heart and win the adoration of the beautiful girl, who surely would be catch him in an infinite Yes/No chain until he agreed to love her! Is there anything more epic than this? And sure enough, the elven girl rushed towards Albert's open arms!

...Then cast Vulcan on him.

Then Ryu Bateson blew Albert up.

That's what he gets for attacking random people that Jerin just happens to be talking to a few minutes before the match.

On the upside, Albert didn't actually manage to gain a clue from this, so he's fine. Ignorance is bliss, after all.

Albert Serdio: 30
Jerin: 39

jaymthegenius@yahoo.com
Wait a minute, Locke defeats one of the 10 wisemen, and without LEA metal might I add, yet loses to Albert? Locke was on his way to victory until Cyril cast a spell from the stands to exact his revenge for his friend, now it's down to Albert and Jerin, so Jerin blast Albert with magic, Albert pitifully attmepts to fight back but cant really.





Sophia Esteed (SO3) Sophia Esteed vs Hervey Hervey (S4)

Pyro
For all that Hervey is a master of his Fire rune, he himself has no defense against fiery Explosions cast from Light's mistress of symbology (and bad tastes). Hervey will run crying to Sigurd after his Light run is ended by a string of spells of the element he supposedly mastered.

We all knew Hervey was a flamer, Sophia's just making it literal.

Sophia Esteed: 52
Hervey: 25


Genis Sage (ToS) Genis Sage vs Ward Zabac Ward Zabac (FF8)

SageAcrin
Unfortunately, someone accidentally read the wrong issue of Timber Maniacs just before this match.

As anyone knows, these magazines have the ability to change reality. For Ward, anyways.

And so, Ward found himself in the Mushroom Kingdom. Naturally, it was rather hard to get back in time for the match.

On the upside, when Ward finally did get out, weeks later, he'd gotten kissed by a princess, had gained twelve lives, was now twice as big and durable as normal, and gained the ability to throw fireballs.

And no Goombas are ever going to screw with him ever again.

Genis Sage: 49
Ward Zabac: 35

Leonhart4
The waiting time for spells could prove to be Genis's undoing here. If he gets Ward into critical range, he has to finish him quickly. His physical attacks ain't gonna be able to do that.

Ralff
Genis takes hits like...well, like a twelve year old boy. It's not going to take much for Ward to drop him.


Cid vs. Cid(Cid, Cid, Cid, Cid, Cid and Cid)
~Gatewalker


SnowFire
The fight was over quite quickly- Orlandu was packing his handy hasted Excalibur, and broke both the Venus Gospel and the Earth Hammer. A quick Peep from Cid4 detected that Orlandu was still feeling extremely healthy, and there were clearly a lot of cattle non-combatants around for easy vampiric life-sucking. Orlandu tossed a quick Holy Explosion over at the Balamb Garden security controls that Cid8 was fiddling with, and Cid8 only dived aside just in time.

Cid10 laughed jovially at the spectacle. "Well, this isn't really fair. I'm certain myself or my friend Cid5 over here could easily destroy you via force once you left here from the air or sea- not an option now, of course, since we're here too. But I would not recommend making enemies with all of us."

"So you're suggesting that I should kill you all now to prevent that from happening?" Orlandu said, casually tossing back a Shellburst Stab at Cid7 who was attempting a spell from his armor's materia.

"Ah... not quite. See, to be a Cid requires intellectual prowess. It doesn't matter if you defeat us in brute battle; we can't let you in until you prove you possess that special spark of kaheic, genius."

Orlandu paused for a moment. "Well, I led Ivalice in the Fifty Years War, a far bigger mess than any of you had to deal with. You can at least control robots and airships and fix them yourself; I had to deal with logistics, incompetent subordinates, and illogical orders from the rulers."

"And it took you fifty years to just get a ceasefire? Not very effective to-" Cid3 chimed in, shortly before getting Lightning Stabbed into Silence.

"Give us a moment," Cid8 said. The other Cids gathered in a small huddle to discuss a proper test to get rid of this irritating newcomer. He'd proven surprisingly resilient and capable. It had to be something irritating and random. What to use...

Cid6 came forward. "All right, Orlandu, we'll let you be a Cid if you can pass one little aptitude test first. But first, can I suggest a refreshing dip in one of these tanks over here first, to properly prepare yourself?"

"No."

"All right then. All you need to do is defeat our amphibious friend here in a true test of mental discipline." Cid9 hopped forward. "How does a, *gwok* game of Tetra Master sound?"

-----
Squall was getting impatient. "I don't care that they said not to be disturbed. I need to go on a mission, and Edea's disappeared again, as usual. Somebody needs to be in charge. Xu, send someone down to check."

Apprentice SeeDs were cleaning the basement for a good week afterward, and Dr. Kadowaki had to work triple shifts trying to put the various Cid pieces back together to the right Cid.


Orlandu: 31
True Cids: 15
Judgemaster Cid: 15
Cid Overload: 28

Mr. VSM
Orlandu was supposedly a great tactician. That is PROBABLY smarter than a couple of live-with-their-parents inventor rejects. There's a lesson to be learned here: don't insult someone's IQ when they can beat the everloving excrement out of you--and all of your friends--without batting an eyelash. When you're lying there, bloody and dying, you'll think, "Boy. I'm pretty sure the only stupid person in the room right now is me."

Octillus
You're kidding right? First of all, the Cids would be stepping on each others toes too much to work together. Secondly, most of them are exceptionally weak, considering Cid Highwind is their mightiest. Old wily inventors vs. Excalibur. Honestly, the fight is one Hellcry Punch to Cid Highwind from being over.

Tide
Of all the Cids involved, only Cid 4, Cid 7 and Orlandu have PC fighting forms. The rest are NPCs and don't participate in actual combat.

That said, Orlandu is faster than both Cid 4 and Cid 7. One Hellcry Punch later and all the other Cids are just cannon fodder for the Ivalician General. The term "slaughter" is an understatement here.

Lurking Registered User
The Cids were at it. Orlandu waded through bombs from the Highwind to Dark Sword Cid 7, then turned and tossed a bad fish Cid 6's direction, knowing the beslickered one would suck it down and die. Meanwhile, Cid 9 pulled out his Oglop cards to challenge T.G. to a Tetra Master duel, while Cids 8 and 10 ran to get their own massive weapons of annihalation. And then a man on Chocoboback showed up.

"Who the &^%*&^ invited *you?*" snarled Cid 7.

"Hey, I'm a Cid too y'know!" retorted the newcomer. Judgemaster Cid had arrived.

"And we were complaining about Orlandu being an impostor?" cried Cid 9. "You're just a petty bureaucrat!"

"That's it!" growled Judgemasted Cid. "I've had enough of this! I'm enacting a new law! No... um... no dragoons? No, that won't work. No brainy guys? Nah, then Orlandu'd still be here. Um, no Oglops? What am I thinking? I've got it! NO CIDS! ... Aw crap!" said the judge, just before being teleported by a pair of lesser judges into prison.

And that's how all the Cids in existence got sucked into a reality-warping spacetime wormhole.

And deposited in an Ivalice jail.

Orlandu was the first to leave. His son Olan showed up, Galaxy Stopped the whole place, and walked out with his father in tow. The two are now on Meredi's Most Wanted list, but they don't plan to return to that Ivalice anytime soon.

Cid 10 got off lightly. His daughter was an expert thief, after all, and easily obtained enough money to post bail.

Cid 8 eventually got freed too. Apparently SeeD had enough of NORG's funds left to spring him, and a mostly caring student populace who wanted him free.

Cid 6 ate some bad prison food and died.

Cid 9 used his only phone call to get Hildegarde on the phone, and the resulting spat got him turned into an Oglop again. He used his new form to get between the bars of his cell and escape.

Cid 7 picked up some new swear words, and taught the other inmates ten times as many in return. Shera eventually managed to get the funds to spring him, by mortgaging most of Rocket Town...

As for Judgemaster Cid, his only kin had been removed by Marche when he sundered the magic book's spell, so nobody knew him who cared to pay his bond. He's still in there to this day.

legendaryflyingfailure
It is a little known fact that Zidane has at least one truly usefull and outstanding quality. He has an impermeable head. This is not so surprising given that he spends so much time getting knocked around. But nevertheless it has been proven on many occasions that Zidane's head is much harder than rock, steel, cement, dragon armor, and-quite unfortunately-Orlandu's Excaliber. So whilest the invincible Thunder God was busy laying the smackdown on Cids 1-10, Dagger finally lost her patience with Zidane constantly flirting with Lani, Beatrice, Sophia, Terra, Lucca, Luccia, Aeris, Rafa, Ruby, Nel, Maria, Princess Toadstool, all 5 Ninas, Yuna, Riku, Bleau, The Godess Tir, Kairi, and the SnM Broad from SH2. Not to mention his constant sneeking out of the dueling league to see Samus and Jill Valentine. Suffice to say that Dagger was fed up with all of it and Sumoned Ark to blast his ass into oblvion. The resultant explosion(s) send Zidane into orbit. After circling the Earth several hundred times he careened at 1,352,233,245,998 miles per hour headfirst into the coalition of Cids and the Excaliber. All contention was put to rest by the Cids who were none too happy about the damage caused by the resultant shockwave that flattened the dueling arena four cities over. Needless to say the entire DL decided that it had been at least 4 days-far too long- since the last universal beatdown on Zidane. Thus the carnage insued.
Several months later all the pieces of Zidane were recovered having been spread over a 400 mile radius. At least enough peices were found for the DL healers to (begrudgingly) put Zidane in well enough shape that he might recover in the next century or so.

Dagger sent him the divorce papers in the hospital.

All 11 of the newly united Cids came to visit him in the Hospital.

The DL healers were not happy about this.

dimatt2004@yahoo.com
It's only fair that Judgemaster Cid gets considered. Even though he may also be as unintelligent as 1-10.

Cinny
Dude, the true Cids'll just get into an airship and kick Cidolfas's ass. No contest.

Justin
ORLANDU RULES

Mechaux01@yahoo.com
Orlandu rapes everything

Browbeat
All hail Judgemaster Cid