 |
|||||||||
|
Fou-Lu vs Diekbeck
SageAcrin A dragon. A robot. A clash of two cultures, nay, two worlds that never before have come together except in several dozen RPGs and a large amount of books and fanfiction. But those don't matter! Yea, this is a battle of civilization vs nature! A raw conflict between the primal forces of chaos, and the human, orderly world of law! A world of disordered, yet beautiful, fantasy, pitted against orderly, structured foresight into the future, a view of hope for a world to come! And so, the robot malfunctions, picks the form he has no chance with, assaults the dragon by exploding repeatedly, and he quickly gets crushed like a giant tin can after doing so. ...This had really had better not be some form of commentary. Fou-Lu: 56 Klayne F.
Kratos Aurion vs Kurando Inugami
SageAcrin "Well, it's a lovely day here in the Duelling League Arena, isn't it folks? And on such a very lovely day, it's best to have lovely things! Like lovely memories, and lovely songs! Yes, today, we'll carry you back to the days of your childhood!" "Just hear those sleigh bells jingle-ing Ring ting tingle-ing too Come on, it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you" Outside the snow is falling And friends are calling "You Hoo" Come on, it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you!" "...oh, god, can we get him committed? He has to be legally insane to make them...fight...like this." Rolf said from the judges box, staring over at the announcer and lead judge. "I'm afraid not." Fuse said, sighing. "There's too many insane people here already. We couldn't get any laws about sanity passed. Doesn't help that some of the highest Godlikes are totally certifiable." Rolf winced, as the sound of Kurando's voice happened to cut through the massive all-female chorus' combined song. "How do you have that bad of a singing voice? He sounds like a singing cow being slowly dismembered." "Shouldn't those two at least have been told they're being judged by how hot their chorus is?" Maxim said, staring at the field of female-Santa-garbed women on one side, and the field of women garbed in what appeared to be strategically placed tinsel on the other. "I mean, both of them should have guessed after the lunatic over there made the choruses wear those outfits, but still." "Well, it could be worse, the chorus could not be there." Fuse said, shrugging. "Touche. At least he's announcing the winner now." "And the winner is...Kurando!" The lead judge said, smiling, as he sat down. "Hmmhmhm. A pity that Kratos person has such average taste in women." Seymour mused, as he sat back down. "I suppose Kurando must have asked Yuri to pick out the women for him. I suppose this should be a lesson to all of those foolish perverts. You must reach the top of the tree before you can pick the fruit." He said softly, smiling, as he stared down at the massive chorus of scantily clad women. Kratos Aurion: 38 Klayne F.
Mechaux01@yahoo.com
Tailsfan@sbcglobal.net
KOS-MOS vs Purim
Pyro KOS-MOS is the pinnacle of advanced technology, possessing innumerable abilities beyond the comprehension of her opponent. She is durable, damaging, able to survive in space, fireproof… Wait… she’s not fireproof? Vector’s most prized possession will be nothing more than fuel for Purim’s Blaze Wall then. Pity. Shion really shouldn’t have squandered that part of the budget on snacks. KOS-MOS: 43 Lurking Registered User
Klayne F.
Asgard vs Ryu
Grefter In one of the most touching moments in DL history, Asgard refused to fight and threw himself into a Volcano so as to allow Ryu to walk past. None of this makes any sense, wrong Ryu and certainly the wrong stone golem. But it happened because I damned well said so. Never question it unless you want a Voldo in your bed. Asgard: 23 Klayne F.
Teepo vs Tana
AAA Teepo can win this in many ways. He can use his physicals. Or can do Magic. He can use all those special skills that come from his lineage, or not. But instead he simply marched into the arena, brushed his long hair out of the way, and merely drove Tana out of the arena in tears with several sworn affidavits proclaiming that he is far cuter than she is. Teepo always did have a mean streak. Teepo: 54 Klayne F.
Leah vs Alis Landale
Lurking Registered User Zidane was in a funk. The day the new matches were posted, Garnet had found him and told him in no uncertain terms that if he were to attend KOS-MOS or Tifa's fights, he would not only eat a thousand Zantetsukens, but he would have to find a new girlfriend. And she *would* find out if he disobeyed. Zidane might have been a skirt-chaser, but he knew on which side his bread was buttered. Garnet honestly loved him, put up with his antics, (mostly) and even healed him after he got beaten up by angry girls or their even angrier boyfriends/husbands/obsessed stalker archmagi. Which meant that for over six days, Zidane had been forced to wander aimlessly, living with the knowledge that Tifa would be bouncing in the arena, and he would not be there to hose her down with creamonade. And that KOS-MOS would be dueling Purim, and there would be no Zidane there to snag harem pants and lingerie with a fishing rod stolen from Ryu. Oh, Edge would be there. Sten would be there too, and all too willing to gloat over what an astounding match Zidane had missed. It would be unbearable! If only he could just figure out a way to go... No, Zidane would be alone. Unfulfilled. Bereft. Somewhere, "You are not alone" began playing. Zidane sighed. Maybe this was the universe's way of telling him that his girl-hounding ways were unappreciated. That he should reinvent himself, become the heroic and dashing thief he had once been, so long ago. Overcome with despair, Zidane sank to his knees in the RPGDL lobby and cried to the heavens. "Oh, gods, give me a sign! Any god will do! Even the evil ones! Even the Cthulhu ones! What is my life intended for?" Zidane waited a moment. Nothing happened. Sighing again, Zidane rose to his feet. "Figures. If it doesn't involve beating me up, even the gods don't care about me. Just typical. Huh. Well, as long as I'm here, I may as well catch a match. It really just won't be the same, though." And so saying, he picked a door at random among the ones he was allowed, entering the deserted stands of a relatively fanless fight that was competing for air time with the likes of Tifa and KOS-MOS. So obscure was this fight that Garnet had not even noticed it as worthy of banning him from. Which is how Zidane got front-row seats to watch scantily-clad Leah tied up in the middle of the arena with ROPE while equally scantily-clad Alis slowly spanked the cavegirl to death one HP at a time due to her leveling bug. The next day, Sten came to gloat over the KOS-MOS fight, only to find zidane wide-eyed and babbling. The only response he could get from the ecstatic thief was "Thank you gods! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Even the evil ones! Even the Cthulhu ones!" over and over. Leah: 24 Octillus
Klayne F.
Alys Brangwin vs Izlude Tingel
Joou Ranbu Ahhhh, Izlude. So honourable, so skilled in battle. He knew he could beat Alys in a fight quite handily, since she was all about dirty tricks - all foiled by the knight's abilities beforehand. However, few were surprised when Alys showed up in the arena riding a giant sandworm to do her bidding. Apparently, it was sandworm egg-laying season, and she won another bet with Hahn - who, due to constantly losing money to the Hunter, ended up having to open a sandworm farm to cover costs. Regardless, the short version of it is that Izlude was eaten in record time, his bloody remains sent to Meliadoul in a cute-looking music box. Oh, sure, Alys was instantly disqualified. But the moral of the story is never about winning fair and square. It's about -having fun-. Alys Brangwin: 25 
Georg Prime vs Raquel Applegate
Dunefar At level 60, Georg is a massive physical powerhouse. He does absurd damage, pink glowing criticals that lay waste to anything, and owns almost any enemy. The problem? That's Raquel at level 5 or so. You can guess how well he stacks up when she starts levelling up! Georg Prime: 43 Imperial
Harle vs Lute
Taishyr Lute came to the arena, naturally prepared with all the possible information she could find. Unfortunately... she stumbled upon a rather... inaccurate... source, and thus was not expecting what she saw when she entered the Arena. So, naturally, she began bombarding Harle with questions and eager speculations, completely forgetting about the match in the process. Harle found the questioning rather boring and especially bizarre, so she just grabbed one of Lute's books and knocked her out with it before walking out of the arena. All this discussion involving fetuses confused her to no end. Harle: 59 SnowFire
Sain vs Duran
superaielman "You're sure this'll work? Those lamers mocked my brilliant speech and fine swordsmanship!" Fairie floated above Duran's shoulder, and giggled into his ear. "Who cares? With the power of friendship, we can overcome any challenge. Now go out and there and show your opponent a thing or so!" Duran charged Sain, without a care in a world. A few quick slashes would be just the thing to end the fight. Slicing hard, the young knight managed to open a wound on Sain's arm. A Silver Lance crashed into Sain's chest as soon as his sword withdrew, knocking him to the ground. Duran scrambled to his feet, annoyed at the counter attack. Another sweeping blow from Duran knocked him right back down. Quickly responding, Duran leaped back up to his feet..only to be staring down a charging Sain, Killer Lance in hand. The blow knocked Duran somewhere in the upper bleachers, skidding off several empty rows of seats. Fairie crawled out of Duran's here. "Ow! What was that? You were supposed to win! Oh well, I'll wait for the healer inside." --- Vaynard looked at the young man. "He shows spirit, honor, and he kept coming even after he attacked once. He's just the man I need for the Norgard Defense Force.." Sain: 53 
Tifa Lockheart vs Lise
Taishyr Lise eyed the information on her opponent. Strong, durable, capable... a woman like her would fit well into the Wind Kingdom, she mused. Lifting the phone in her waiting room, she paused before quickly dialing in a number. "This is Ulala of Ulala & Baofu's Mansearch Services, how may I help you?" "Ulala! Hi, this is Lise..." "OH! Lise! How're you doing? What's up?" "I'm doing rather well, thanks... I'd like to call in that favor you promised me." "Sure! What do you want me to do?" "Actually..." Lise grinned to herself. "I'd just like some of that sleeping powder." "I don't have any in, sadly." Ulala apologized. "However... I may have something that'll work even better..." "Really? Do tell." Tifa sat down at the table and glanced at Lise as she got comfortable. "So, what'd you want to talk about?" she said warily. "I examined your profile a few days ago, and, well..." Lise paused and looked away for a second, then continued. "I hate being flowery or indirect, so let's be brief with each other. Would you be interested in joining the Wind Kingdom Rolante as one of the army commanders?" Tifa gaped for a second. "I... I'm unsure. I'd have to discuss it-" "With Cloud?" Lise interrupted. Tifa snorted in reply. "Not Cloud. He ran off, mumbling something about invisible clones stalking him. Honestly, he was never there for the kids we adopted, so the point's irrevelant. No, I'd have to discuss it with Barrett; Marlene's been living with both of us, and I'm not sure I could do that to her." "Barrett would also be allowed in and given a good job, if that would be a motivator. The orphans may come as well, of course." "Well, then, I'll ask him. Now, about the battle..." Lise's lips twisted a bit. "Ah, yes. That. Look, I've really no desire to impale a possible future employee..." "Nor I to pummel a future boss!" Tifa said, laughing a bit. Lise looked at her oddly, but nodded. "Yes. We'll have to work something out, but first, let's order." She gestured the Clair de Lune waiter over, and the two ordered their meals. "So, if neither of us desires the fight..." "Then it comes down to which of us can better represent our cause in the later matches." Lise nodded. Tifa ruminated, then said, "Well, it really comes down your versatility versus my power." "Aye. And since we are unsure which of Sophia or Florina will pass, it's completely useless to try and ruminate on future opponents. I would decimate Sophia, but lose to Florina's superior spearhandling; you would drown under Sophia's magical assualt but easily defeat Florina's feeble defenses." Tifa nodded again, then smiled. "Well, since we both must meet at the arena, how about we make it random?" "How do you propose we do that?" "Well, we're both (if I may engage in a bit of self-flattery here) rather beautiful young women. What's happened every other time two women ran into each other in the arena?" Lise grinned wickedly. "The pervert squads. Are you really proposing...?" "Yes. A friendly competition of pervert-bashing. Whoever beats the most into the ground is the winner!" Lise nodded. "Truly a fair method. I must admit, however, I had duplicitious plans had you refused to consider the job offer..." She threw a pouch of yellow dust on the table. "What would that have done?" Tifa asked with a smile on her face. "It would have, er..." Lise blushed a scarlet shade. "It would have made you much more... energetic in bed, shall we say." "And far too exhausted for tomorrow?" Lise nodded. "Heh... that likely would've worked. Been dating Reeve lately - he would've been surprised at that." She eyed the pouch again, then burst into a wide grin. "Actually... we could use that to make the pervert-bashing earlier..." Edge munched on the popcorn as he watched Sain vs. Duran's match. "Bo-ring... Everyone in place for Dazzling Beauties, Round 2?" "Aye-aye, sir!" The voice that cracked over the walkie-talkie eagerly reported. "Good. Halfway through the battle, we storm it and have ourselves some fun!" Lise eyed the armor Tifa had just given her. "Unobtanium armor, you say? It's... skimpy." Tifa grinned. "Yes, well, we must draw them all out before we can begin the contest, no?" "Point. Although it disturbes me that the only form it comes in is in a two-piece bikini." "Don't worry about getting hurt. All blows or other advances are drawn toward the armor, which then nullifies the damage. Completely illegal in a normal DL match, but perfectly fine for this sort of contest..." Lise nodded. "So, you 'spiced' the popcorn?" Tifa grinned. "Yep! The whole bag in the primary popcorn-seller's vat! I said it was extra butter. He didn't doubt me." "Good." Lise peeked out at the match. "Looks like Sain and Duran are done sissy-fighting. Shall we?" "Let's!" Edge stared at Lise and Tifa as they entered the arena. Actually, probably half the Arena did, for that matter. "...screw waiting! Let's rush them! FANSERVICE AHOYYYYYYYYYYY!" he screamed, running onto the field... only to be levelled by a casting of Freya. The contest was swift and brutal. All the Arena participants who rushed onto the arena had been knocked out or worse by Tifa or Lise. The two stood in the center, panting from the effort. "Well, then... I'm unsure how many I downed. That was truly an epic swarm." Lise said. "Same. We'll leave it up to the judges." Tifa said. "What judges? Myria's the only one up there." Lise gestured at the knocked-out male judges off to the side. "...Point. We'll let Myria decide." Tifa waved up to Myria, who waved back. "Now that this contest is over, I declare the winner to be..." Tifa Lockheart: 55 Shoenin@gmail.com
Sophia Esteed vs Florina
SnowFire This fight is amusing, as Florina has insane MDef and Sophia's magic can be disrupted, especially by a fast pegasus knight. Florina doesn't even get hit once. Sophia Esteed: 42
Mallow vs Viki
Unoriginal Raijin sighed, as he entered the ring. He'd rather have been lazily fishing his days away, but but that didn't pay so well, and the DL's Light division was always needing judges willing to sit through what could turn into a three hour standoff between two healers. Meanwhile, Viki was happy with the way things had been going recently. She had seen what that nice interview lady had said about holding in her sneezes in a later broadcast of BTS, and it was working like a charm. Sure, her nose was itching like crazy, and she could hardly see due to her eyes watering over from the effort, but she hadn't had a Blink-related misfire in over a day! Picking up a pleasant-smelling bouquet an overzealous fan had tossed her from the stands, she thought that things were definitely looking up. Sniff These smell pretty ni- Uh-oh Ahh Raijin looked at the contestants to see if they were ready. Ahhhhh Oh no, I-I don't think I can stop this one! Raijin raised his hand, about to signal the start of the match. AHHHHHH Eep! "Begin!" CHOOOOO CHOOOOO CHOOOOO CHOOOOO CHOOOOO Trying to clear her eyes, Viki quickly cast Set at Mallow, hoping to unbalance him long enough to recover from the monstrous sneeze she had just unleashed, not noticing the young prince's look of wide-eyed, slack-jawed shock. Clearing her eyes, Viki looked up. She was suprised to see that Mallow was, rather than simply pelted with a small deluge of refuse, thoroughly buried under half of a landfill's worth of garbage. She stared at the sight for a moment, before hearing someone next to her trying to get her attention. "Hi, I'm Vi...ki..." she trailed off, unsure of how to continue. If the girl next to her was Viki, then who was she? Her identity crisis worsened when she looked further, and saw several more Vikis next to the one next to her, all looking around them in confusion and wondering pretty much the same thing. Raijin, meanwhile, had come to terms with the fact that there were five Vikis rather than just the one standing there when the fight started. He looked to the group of Viki, then to the gigantic pile of garbage that would probably take the cleaning crews hour to clear, and back to the group of Vikis again. Quickly piecing together what happened, he walked over to the group to give his verdict of interference. Or, at least, he tried. "This isn't outside interference, sir, we're all Viki here" spoke the youngest of the lot, who took up the spokesman role for the group by virtue of being the only one there who was actualy cognizant most of the time. "But..." Raijin stammered, trying to come up with a response. "Besides" little Viki pressed on, blatantly ignoring Raijin, "whether it was intended or not, we were summoned here. I mean, you woulnd't toss out Yuna for using her Aeons, would you?" "Well, no, but..." Time to finish this. Raijin's attempts at coming up with a counter-argument were stopped in their tracks, as little-Viki preformed the dreaded Eyes of the Kicked Puppy. The older Vikis followed the subconsious prompt and joined in as well. Imagine a look so sad, so outright pitiable, that the wills of all but the most heartless, obtinate individuals are crushed into a fine, easily manipulated paste. Now take that, and multiply it by five. Raijin never stood a chance. "Awww, man. Alright, fine, you guys win. Just.. stop lookin at me like that, okay?" Mallow: 51 Lurking Registered User
Alanna82
Kelvena vs Cinna
Lance Cinna was tired of losing. Three appearances in the DL had resulted in three crushing losses, each of which was then followed by several days of incessant mocking and many, many trips to the bottom of a beer bottle. When the Tantalus thief heard that he was going to be fighting in the arena once more, he decided to prove to everyone once and for all that he was not a total weakling. After much pondering, Cinna came to the realization that he only needed some strong armor to protect himself from damage. Maybe then he wouldn't be knocked out by strong gusts of wind and sneezes. A few days before his match, Cinna gathered his Tantalus buddies together and went out in search of Hades. With the right materials, the master synthesizer would be able to forge a suit of armor for Cinna that could withstand the might of the gods. Once Hades was found, however, Cinna was faced with a terrible dilemma. In order to forge the legendary Tin Armor, he would have to use his beloved special magical lucky awesome cuddly favorite precious hammer as an ingredient. Fate can be a harsh mistress sometimes.... After much deliberation, Cinna decided to go through with it. He gave up his most prized possession in exchange for the best suit of armor he could ever hope for. For the sake of his hammer, there was no way he could lose his match now. Well, all this makes for a truly inspirational story, but unfortunately for Cinna, it did not have a happy ending. See, he forgot one important detail: the Tin Armor was designed for Steiner, who is twice as large and about six times as strong as Cinna. When it came time for his match against Kelvena, the hefty, out-of-shape Tantalus thief put on his armor and waddled to the ring. Unfortunately, the effort of lugging around a seventy-pound suit of armor was too much for the little guy to handle and he passed out from exhaustion before the match could even begin. But hey, look on the bright side. Cinna only would have humiliated himself even more if he had actually tried to fight Kelvena. And besides, this newest loss means Cinna's favorite bar can stay in business for a while longer. Kelvena: 82 
Jelanda Artolia vs Reed
SageAcrin Reed is a man who follows around a slightly spoiled, willful and somewhat violent young girl. Jelanda is a spoiled, willful, somewhat violent young girl. The results are obvious. Jelanda and Lilly get into a slapfight over Jelanda trying to "steal" Lilly's guard, Lilly wins easily due to not having sissy, princess arms, Reed sits there staring blankly, and a few days later, Jelanda sends in a forfeit. Of course, now, Lilly won't let Reed forget that she saved him from being Jelanda's servant. Reed is now several times more devoted to Lilly than before, despite this. Jelanda Artolia: 32 
Shady Thousand vs Lezard Valeth
superaielman It appears that those who don't learn from history are bound to repeat it. Thus the tragic case of Shady. Like a certain army of sailor scouts, or a snarling Hrist, people often take Lezard as a lightweight, and as a easy win. Shady certainly was saying as much, all under the watchful gaze of Lezard's Philsopher's stone. When the demented sorcerer heard all this, he stopped laughing. The brutal series of spells that struck and utterly destroyed the Schroedinger area and all inside was a mystery. Who could wield such damningly poweful magics without so much as revealing himself to the countless archmagi who made their home in the DL? Who could be as spiteful and mean as to wipe out an entire area, without mercy or concern for loss of life? Lezard was later seen sitting quietly in his room, studying. It was said that the Flensberg mage had the smallest of smiles on his face, and only broke his studying to look in the direction of the carnage.. Shady Thousand: 41 danberado
Dunefar
Pyoo Pyoo! Space Battle! Ultradude Unfortunately... Freddie is more than capable of beating the spiders at their own game - even as a three-headed cyborg zombie variant of himself. Add to that the advantages of his current state, and you have swift victory. The Spiders are caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. Freddie Mercury: 45 Spiders from Mars: 30 Draco Ignifer
Browbeat
Lance
|
