 |
|||||||||
|
Albedo vs Terra Branford
Tide Fact 1: Albedo can 2HKO PCs with his draining attack, MP bust when his HP goes below half, and even boost his speed and magic damage even higher. Fact 2: Albedo is also very frail. Fact 3: Ultima HURTS. Albedo: 33 
Ultimecia vs Lambda Zellweger
SageAcrin One person can see the future. Another person can (c/k)ompress time. Both of these have almost bafflingly, indecipherably strange actual effects in battle. Ultimecia ends up somehow gaining multiple forms and a giant pet Squall delusion from her time (c/k)ompression. While Lambda can dodge things. Usually. While he's looking in their direction. So it's like really good reflexes. Except it's prophesy. Also, it has a better name. And, most importantly, when these two skills collide, there are obvious side effects. After all, someone that predicts the future should be able to see time (c/k)ompression (c/k)oming, right? Except that by the time he sees it coming, there's no time actually in front of him. A paradox, a direct conflict of two skills. Two skills that have completely weird battle impact already. And so, Giant Anthropomorphic Beaver Benjamin Franklin, after fusing with the two combatants, smashed through the arena walls and wandered out of the arena. Who won? Everyone. But really, they just flipped a coin. The tried and true tradition of the Duelling League is to flip a coin when these things happen. Then the coin burst into flames. It seems there's still some leftover effects. So, the judges went by the second most tried and true method for determining the winner of a Duelling League match that has gone awry. And so, Nina 4 soundly beat Jelanda in a mud wrestling match, giving Ultimecia the win. Ultimecia: 40 Tide
Rubicant vs Scias
SageAcrin Ice against fire. A simple match, right? After all, fire melts ice, producing water, which puts out the fire. And so, a puddle of anthropomorphic sheepdog defeats the Fiend of Fire. Simple. Rubicant: 42 
Belial vs Zophar
Barubary Poor Belial. I was a never a fan of the wild arms series yet still I played Wild Arms 4. Thats irrelevent fact remains no one of the wild arms series can match up against the sheer god like power of Zophar. Honestly I don't think an unranked champion can come out and trump Zophar sorry. You lose. Belial: 39 Imekko
Imperial
Angela vs Lavitz Slambert
SageAcrin A sexy woman. A handsome man. Everyone should know how these things go, right? Lavitz, after hearing that a sexy woman was hitting on his Dart-a lancer, yet! While he was busy fighting!-rushed right out of the arena to defend his man. Angela owes Lise a favor, but she gets to go on to the next round. Angela really tried hard to get out of that, too. How can you owe a favor to someone whose sole actual effort involved running fast away from a man in full armor and beating up Shana? There's no justice. Angela: 47 LegendaryCountryBoy
Jerin vs Kevin
Xan the shadow Anyone who has played SD3 knows that Kevin is a mages natural predator, gifted with endurance, healing, and, if I must bring it up, MAD SKILLZ to rival Hammer. Except unlike that idiot, Kevin can prove his. I see him in the upgrade pool any time now. Jerin: 26 Tailsfan@sbcglobal.net
Mirage Koas vs Lance
SageAcrin Mirage is an intelligent woman, first and foremost. When she challenged Lance to an army battle, each with non-ranked forces under her control, Lance stared for a moment and instantly agreed. Clearly, she had absolutely no idea about New Almekia's pride and joy, a towering Salamander. Or anything about Forsena, really. And so, several dozen beams from the Flagship Diplo annihilated Lance's hopes for winning. And Lance. And the judges. Mirage knew better than to leave the judges alive if she was going to cheat. But of course, the crowd was furious, and in the interests of fairness, she offered a tiebreak solution. And so, in the third most popular tie-break maneuver in the Duelling League, split-second timing film was used to decide which of two cardboard Zidanes was disintegerated first. Mirage's choice happened to last slightly longer, giving her the win. Mirage Koas: 31 jaymthegenius@yahoo.com
Emeralda vs Slust
SageAcrin Emeralda thought it over. Slust was faster than her. Slust was tougher than her. Slust dealt more damage than her. Emeralda had but one advantage. And so, in a tried and true method used by Jibril before her, Emeralda unhinged her jaw and ate Slust. (......No, not like that, you perverts.) Being a living nanomachine colony has distinct advantages, and one is extreme flexability. (...I said not like that.) At any rate, she had forgotten one thing. She doesn't actually need to eat. So Slust was just stuck in there. And she was spread so thin overall that she couldn't really move out of the arena. And she kept getting stabbed from the inside. About several hours later, Emeralda, suffering from the worst intestinal cramps in the history of at least a majority of the universes, forfeited. Slust, meanwhile, is considering if he can brag about being inside a pretty green-haired woman. Emeralda: 28
Lucia vs Squall Leonheart
SageAcrin It was a fierce battle. Everything was calculated to the last decimal. Every nuance of what Squall had said in his entire life. Every strike Lucia had dealt, every spell she had cast, was closely examined. Squall had an advantage based on his battle performance, but Lucia had a moment to shine there, and indeed, her life had been considered much more interesting. And so, the judges made their decision. Squall, as the larger failure, won the fail-off. Sometimes, when you win, you lose. Squall was seen after the match being comforted by Rinoa. This seemed to make him even more depressed. It's okay, though. The gunblade can't fit in his mouth anyways. Though, that did make him even more depressed. People sailing under bridges, as such, should keep an eye out for late-night Squalls on the water. Lucia: 26 
Margarete Zelle vs Chongara
Grefter Magarette's short coat and skirt with fish nets proved to much for Chongara. He could not contain himself any longer, he must have this woman! He fell to Margarette's first Snipe and Margarette has this habit of not aiming for the head, but a touch lower. Some might say it is because of the simplistic nature of the game she is from and the camera is controlled in a generic fashion that zooms in on the same spot regardless of enemy. I don't think anyone sane can help but notice the insane number of enemies that die from a single rifle shot in the crotch though. Edge was noticabley no where near the arena after the match. There was a shrill cry from the audience followed by a "Ninja Vanish!" and a puff of smoke. Wonder how long that will last? Margarete Zelle: 37 
Mara vs Nicolus
SageAcrin The problem with this battle is that there is a fundamental flaw in Nicolus' strategies. You see, his main strategy here is blasting a somewhat scantily clad woman with lots of water. Over and over. Until she falls over dead. With an occasional weak blast of energy beams to keep her from getting too close. You can see the problem, can't you? Nicolus certainly did. Unfortunately, they still can't get the Ultima Weapon out of there. Sten's daggers already had taken a seventeen-hour long operation to remove. Nicolus' brilliant cybernetic brain is already hard at work trying to fix the problem. But first, he has to stop thinking about Teletubbies. Mara: 34 
Yulie Ahtreide vs Gerhalt
Imekko This is a quick battle. Unfortunately, Gerhalt isn't quick. He does, however, die quickly to a very buffed up Yulie. Yulie Ahtreide: 47
Olan Durai vs Relm Arrowny
Tide This is epic. An astrologist against a painter. A man with knowledge of the stars against a young girl with unrivaled artistic genius. A dictionary against a knife. I'll leave you to figure out what happens when they end up fighting. Here's a hint: A dictionary isn't a very good stabbing implement. Olan Durai: 37 metroid composite
Pikachu vs Alfred Schroedinger
Tide Normally, Pikachu gets made a mockery out of thanks to his low durability. On the other hand, his opponent this week is Alfred-freaking-Schroedinger. He whose durability is just as on bad footing. He whose damage is SO bad that it probably can't kill the electric rat in a hit. For all his failings, at least Pikachu has decent speed and decent damage from the Light ball. Alfred has none of those claims other than 'puny Wild ARMS 3 boss'. Which isn't much of a claim. Pikachu: 54 Imekko
metalfushi
Xan the shadow
IhatethisCPU
Shiho vs Chelsea Torn
Imekko Yeah, Shiho has the bird... Know what the forest outside Chelsea's Grandpa's is full of? Small birds. She's rather used to killing them, and offs it right from the start. Suddenly the mage with long downtime between spells is almost powerless. If only she could see that she was being beaten by just a little girl... maybe it's better this way. Shiho: 19 Xan the Shadow
Tide
Augst Henriksen vs Cray
SageAcrin Augst's full power was to be seen here. He had been holding back on those children. He liked them! He didn't want to hurt them, and only tiny wisps of his power, that which he could not hold back for the pain, were showing through. He was the invincible shield, but he was also the unbreakable sword. And so, Augst released his full power upon Cray, gating him to another, completely dead, universe, then collapsing it. As he watched, Cray shrieked in infinite agony as the very universe compressed into nothingness around him. Unfortunately, there is a sub-corrolary of Murphy's Law about tinkering with cross-universal attacks. Whenever you do that, you will screw up. And so, another Cray, from another universe, promptly landed on Augst's head, log-pointed-down, conking his monstrous form unconcious. Overall, it worked for everyone. This Cray seems to be basically the same, outside of being a bright, sky blue in color, Augst's sworn off the plot power stuff, and everyone's happy. Somewhere, though, Cray's still screaming. Forever. Well, then he pops out in another universe an indefinable, possibly infinite, stretch of time later, with complete amnesia and decides that Tiga's a good name for himself, but never mind that. Augst Henriksen: 18
Love Attorney Flonne in Apalachian "Objection!" Flonne shouted. "The trial hasn't even started yet, Flonne. We're all waiting outside of the Courthouse. We were going to kidnap Rydia when she walks by, and then force her to let Edge stay with her for the rest of her life!" Rydia was then looking at Etna with the fury of a thousand suns in her eyes. Before Etna got a chance to move, Rydia slapped that girl like she was some Pimp's bitch. "YOU LITTLE WORM! HOW DARE YOU SLAP ME! FLONNE, KIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL HEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" "Umm...I don't know about this Etna, I mean we have to go inside the Court and...defend Edge. Right?" Etna then took out her lance and faced Rydia. "IT'S ON NOW, BITCH. YOU WILL FACE THE MIGHT OF A GIRL WITH RAGING PMS!" Rydia stared at Etna. "Hey hey. I have raging PMS too. I know how it feels. Just calm down." Rydia then walked over to Etna and rested her head on her shoudler. She then walked her into the courtroom, with Flonne walking feebly behind. --11:34 AM - DL Heights Waiting Room-- "So, Flonne, are you ready for your case?" Flonne looked at Etna. "Of course I'm ready. I have the power of Love! Love will always prevail! Edge's love for Rydia will empower me to win this case for the spirit of Love! With all of the Love Edge has provided for Rydia, nothing but Love will be able to win this case! Because Love is the greatest power of them all! The power of Love is great enough to overcome the biggest and nastiest difficulties! With the power of Love on my side, and the power of Love swaying through the hearts and minds of the honorable Jury, nothing but Love will be the deciding factor of this case! Because, Etna, if you have not yet taken the hint, Love is the only reason Angels are able to do anything! And with Love, I'm sure that this case, and every case that will take place in the future, Love will prevail!" Etna then blinked and walked into the courtroom. --11:40 AM - DL Heights Courtroom-- "Will all please rise?" the Honorable White Knight Leo stated. Everyone rised. "Thank you. You may now sit down." Edge looked at Flonne with eyes full of tears. "You've got to win, Flonne! Please! You have to! For the good of the future of me and Rydia, and our future kids, Edge and Rydia Jr., you must defend my right to keep my stuff, and make Rydia stay with me!" "Okay! With the Power of Lo---" Etna looked at Flonne with the rage of a million suns in her eyes. "Flonne, if you say the word Love one more time, I will kill you. You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I'd hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It's very painful. Do you want that to happen to you, Flonne?" Flonne cowered in fear. "N..N...No...Please don't hurt me, Etna. Etna smiled. "Good." White Knight Leo then began, "Prosecutor, your opening statement please?" Prosecutor von Karma then began his speech. "We will win. That's all." "Erm...anything else?" White Knight Leo was confused. "No." "Okay then...Love Attorney Flonne, your Opening statement?" "With the power of L--" Flonne then looked over at Etna. "I mean...with the power of...compassion...and...heartfelt gratitude...I will proove that Edge deserves to keep his stuff! And stay with Rydia! Forever! Because that's what Love is!" Courtroom: "GASP!!" Etna then went to the bathroom. She came back with a towel. She forced the towel down Flonne's throat. And the rest...I'm sure you know what happened. Courtroom: "..." White Knight Leo: "..." von Karma: "..." Edge: "..." Rydia: "Well...Edge. After seeing what just happened here, I felt compassion for you like no other. It reminded me of our first date, when you killed Palom in that same fashion. The love I felt for you at that moment...it was like no other. Take me now, Edge! And we will live out the rest of our lives in happiness!" And so Edge and Rydia went back towards their rooms, hand and hand, for the rest of eternity. Flonne wins: 33 Flonne loses: 5 Edge: 25 Leo: 20 Starphoenix das Helpoemer
Tailsfan@sbcglobal.net
|
